Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone

First, all you editors, English majors and anal-reten minors, I know I can't say "Ain't no sunshine...."

There's no sunshine today -- Sunday, Day 7, second day avoiding the high protein stuff, the day my baby and mother left AND it's raining. I'm bawling and all the depressing songs are springing to mind.

"BIG GIRLS -- they don't cry--eye-eye (they don't cry)"

Why not? I can't eat, drink or pluck out a tune on my piano. So, let's cry.

Well, that felt...human?

Great, in addition to being obese, I have to be human.

I often explain how I deal with my various trials to "playing the cards that you're dealt." I can't play poker and I see no thrill in gambling. However, I see some deep spiritual philosophy in the card-playing symbolism.

The Lord, Dealer of the House, has merely given each of us a set of cards to play. There's no luck or accidents in this game. Each low card has the potential to become more valuable with the right combination of other cards. High cards and face cards are only potent if you use them right.

I get a lot of pity most days. I'm very overweight and after the loss of four of my five babies, I was left with some pretty hefty health problems. Most people who couldn't see why we kept trying to have a baby could only see part of the cards I was being dealt.

When pain becomes motivation and failures become steps to success, the player has learned to take God's raw materials -- the good and the bad -- and build a powerful hand.

I haven't been dealt all fancy high cards. I've been dealt some low cards of despair and some weakening cards of pain. From the "pits of despair," the Lord builds the greatest hand of perserverance.

When the Bible speaks of "longsuffering," it's not a curse. A hand that results in longsuffering is one that is ready, willing and able to take future challenges with renewed ease and experience -- perserverance (like a flush, straight or whatever is a surprisingly good poker hand).

I'm starting to think I'm going to be incredibly successful in this venture. It's a rainy, painful day....but you should see the hand I'm holding!

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