I'm Armed With A Snicker's Bar And I'm Not Afraid To Use It

This week started with two Snicker's Bars and ended with a change in medications and a sense of hope.

Monday, I saw RealityDoc with hope of having my latest abscess drained. I described this thing to him Sunday night as "a hard cantelope" around the top of my surgery incision and he said he would drain it in his office.

A few seconds after he looked at it, he sigh and explained it was located deep beneath the surface and he couldn't drain it in the office. I think my eyes rolled in the back of my head as I anticipated his next statement to the word: "Dr. Leblanc might have to open it up again."

I tried to focus and not seem like a whiny baby, but I've had four abdominal surgeries related to this problem since my lap band surgery. RealityDoc, however, wasn't ready to give up on me avoiding the knife and he said a change in antibiotics might help reduce the fluid accummulating in my troubled tummy.

I left RealityDoc totally depressed. Pain, family, money, pain, stress and did I mention PAIN were all weighing heavily on my mind. I stopped to the grocery store and made the only fat chick's "cry for help" available to me -- I bought a Snicker's Bar. Well, actually, I bought two because I thought 65 cents was a great bargain for the "King-Size" bar.

The violin music begins to play ... I am now officially considering SNICKERCIDE. I couldn't just eat them because I had to work myself up to the right moment. Now, I'm incredibly weird because I first had to have a real meal. I dunno, I just can't have sweets on an empty stomach. Even in the throws of Snickercide, I feared the "sugar sickness" feeling that diabetics can get. First, I had a well-balanced meal of red beans and smoked sausage pieces. Second, I called SupaDoc's office (I knew SupaDoc was on vacation -- how could he leave me?).

After packing away the protein and fiber in my lunch, I was unable to even think about eating a candy bar, so I got back into my PJs with every intention to continue Snickercide after a good nap. Then, SupaDoc's office angel called saying their other partnering surgeon would take a look at the incision. "But I'm in my PJs with a Snicker's Bar," I explained. She said I should bring it, just don't eat it!

I grabbed both Snicker's Bars -- one bar for the office angel and one for me as soon as I found the room eat it -- and headed back into the city.

SupaDoc's partner, Dr. Haussman (no cute nickname - yet), agreed that the incision should be given a week or so of antibiotics and then it could be looked at next week. I was so grateful for a another chance to skip surgery, I left the other Snicker's Bar and the staff served it in little pieces over the copy machine.

RealityDoc's change in medications has sparked a noted change in the swelling and incisional abscess. Maybe, just maybe, I've already had my last surgery.

Wounds heal and lesson are learned. Apparently, I'm no emotional eater. The solutions to my problems can't be found in the ingredients of a Snicker's Bar. I guess I knew that all along, but it did feel good to know I could prove it to myself.