Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Yippee, I Gained Two Pounds

Before you make reservations for my padded room, let me explain myself. First, it could have been much more and secondly, it marks the fact that my life might be getting back to normal – all's right with the world.

My weight loss surgeon and hernia repair specialist are one in the same, SupaDoc Karl Leblanc. After looking at my open wound site – which is healing at a remarkable rate – he seemed curious to see how the old weight loss was going. I tried to explain that I had just finished my cycle (water retention, eek) and that I was practically a stock holder in Blue Bell Ice Cream, Dr. Leblanc quipped his disapproval, but deep down, I do feel bad about letting him down a little.

True to my predictions, I have edged up two pounds in the last two weeks. So why am I excited about this regressive? Simple – it makes sense. I’ve battled through PMS and the water retention of a monthly cycle after going into surgery twice since the last “visitor.” I threatened to combat my rapid weight loss with ice cream sundae’s, but the first couple of weeks out of the hospital, I still couldn’t stomach them. Well, things got better and I did partake of some Moo-lineum Crunch. I also think I made fried chicken three times (I’m unsure of the exact times because I’m still reviewing the tapes).

Water retention, some hormonal eating = small weight gain. That’s one of the first logical observations in months. I was in extreme pain – it didn’t make sense. I ran a high fever for over a month – it was a mystery. I became critically anemic to the point of transfusions – the reasons were big question marks. I was sick and losing weight at a more than decent pace and I began to fear that I would be one of people who can’t control the weight loss and wastes away. I feared losing control over my own life.

Reality check: THIS WAS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO HAPPENING, but remember “this is Frances’ brain on drugs.”

When I saw those added pounds, there was no mystery. Finally, things make sense and I know I’m in control of both my success and failure. I was pretty excited when I left the doctor’s office and made a short-term goal of nixing those two pounds and a long-term goal of getting back on the losing track. I headed to a gym with my bestest bud, Kay.

If you talk to my doctors, let’s note that I went to “tour” the fitness center – I’m still attached to the wound vac device. I noted that the 4 foot tubing fit very well along side the cardio-fitness station. I didn’t do a lot of bouncing around, but I got a good cardio/fat burning workout and it felt GREAT!

I’ve not been in a regular workout routine since the start of my five pregnancies. I’m in my “baggy” blue jean shorts and huge T-shirt right smack in front of a mirror. Oooooh, I look good. “Go Frances, Go Frances, Go Frances, it’s ya birthday!”

No, I haven’t arrived, but I’m on route and that’s enough for me. All that blood circulation gave me that “workout” high and I was much more focused on my day’s meals. I started with a whey protein drink (whey, yes, whey), had eggs for lunch and ended if all off with a grilled chicken salad. I got a little hungry writing this in the middle of the night and had some sugar-free Nestle's chocolate mixed with milk. The Moo-lineum Crunch is still taking in the freezer, but I don’t speak that language. There are two types of cookies on top of the fridge and I’ll use them as treats for my energy-crazed toddler when she’s been good. (Oh, her teeth are sooo safe.)

So losing a couple of pounds isn’t so bad if you use it to motivate yourself, start afresh and set a path. I know time is precious, but those “slow” two weeks may be the only emotional adjustment I can make through this ordeal. Times are tight, so I guess that makes you all my collective shrink. Thanks for listening – I feel so much better.

2 comments:

Donie P said...

Hi Frances - I totally agree. I lost 103 lbs in the first 5 1/2 months. My mind went into overload. I became so depressed thinking I would be one of those you hear about - the one who became ill or died b/c they couldn't stop losing. My weight loss stalled at that time for almost 7 weeks. I wasn't complaining one bit b/c it gave my mind some time to get adjusted to the new body. My weight loss slowed down a lot after that. Instead of losing `1 -2 lbs almost every day to 1 - 2 lbs a week. I considered myself as becoming 'normal' again. I had to see my therapist at the 6 month mark as I knew I had more to lose and was beginning to sabotage myself from losing more.

Just wanted you to know you were not alone in how you feel.

Kay said...

Bestest bud Kay here with two thoughts:
1. Frances on drugs is a hoot.
2. Having your bestest bud to actually pal around with instead of just commiserate with is priceless.