Wellness: A Journey, A Goal ... A Passion

So, how did my great-grandmother die?

2011-03-01T16:14:00.000-08:00

My sister's daughter Alexis Cecilia
and my daughter Cecilia Grace

It’s not unusual for second-graders to break into a breathless string of questions at any given time. This morning, Cecilia wanted to know everything about my Mammy. Cecilia, 8, is the namesake of Cecilia Brooks, my grandmother.

I could easily go on and on about her because I’ve always been impressed with my grandmother's strength, her faith and her strong sense of family. I told Cecilia that I am only taking care of one child, but my grandmother raised eight children and one was not hers, but she loved and took care of her just like she was her own.

Life was hard for share croppers, but she made yummy treats and meals by hand. I had to mention the luscious cornbread topped with Steen Syrup because Cecilia is fond of homemade cornbread (no boxes, please).

Mammy made all the food from scratch and made clothes and quilts by hand. “If your great-grandmother Cecilia wanted to cook chicken for lunch, she went out into the yard and picked out one, swung it around by the neck and then boiled it and took the feathers off before cooking lunch,” I explained.

“She did?” Cecilia squealed like I was describing a famous folk hero.

“She was such an awesome person that your great-grandfather Lucious, even though he was her husband, never called her ‘Cecilia,’” I said. “He called her Miss Tela because he loved and respected her so much.”

“So, how did my great-grandmother die?”

It hit me like a ton of bricks because it’s heavy breakfast conversation and it made me see the sobering facts about life, death and poverty that a little girl’s memories will easily omit decades later.

“She had a bad heart,” I said. “She was sick for a long, long time. One day she said a massive stroke and a little while after that, she died.”

Cecilia skipped off to class when the car stopped to the front of her school and didn’t seem shattered, but I had to pause to think about the harsh realities of living with heart disease almost four decades ago. My grandmother had a pacemaker in the late ‘60s and early ‘70s. Pacemakers were fragile, troublesome devices back then and her zipper-like scar always seemed evident sticking out from the top of her simple, homemade house dresses. She worked really hard, but she always seemed tired and in pain. I never heard a complaint, but that scar just seemed like it was attached to a great deal of suffering.

The last few years of her life were spent in the big city with us so when the stroke dealt the final blow, she was attached to a respirator in the same hospital where my mother and godmother worked. I spent a lot of time in that hospital and near the end, I found myself alone with my dying grandmother as the machines hummed and hissed forcing her lungs to breathe and her heart to pump. I believed God worked miracles so I closed my eyes and spoke the most earnest prayer a little girl could muster. I even imagined the excitement on the faces of the rest of the family when they returned to see her awake and talking.

I opened my eyes and she remained still except for the forced movement of the respirator. I kept my disappointment to myself so the humming and hissing machine wouldn’t mock me.

'Dr. Cece' and her Nanny Kathy,
a super sister and awesome nurse.

In the dark of the night the day before the Christmas Eve of my tenth year, my big sister Kathy and I sat alone by the light of the Christmas tree crying after the phone call came from my parents saying even the humming-hissing machine couldn’t force her tired heart to work any more.

When scarred by the tragedies of life, we can become victims of the memories or we can be moved to action. My sister Kathy and her first-born son became nurses. They care for the sick and urge preventative health measures.

I’ve had some health scares before and after bringing home Cecilia, my first surviving baby after four losses. Getting healthy and protecting my heart has meant changing lifestyles, eating right and losing more than 130 pounds since the year Cecilia was born.

Raising awareness and research funds, my Cecilia and I will walk on March 26 in the Heart Walk. “Dr. Rani” says every step we take extends our life and both Cecilia and I believe in the small steps to a long life.

If you would like to join us on March 26, click HERE to join Team H2D. Your support of our efforts will also be greatly appreciated. The banner below will take you to the donation page for my “Little Cecilia,” but it is in honor of the fight started by her great-grandmother Cecilia. This battle is definitely not over.

Perspective: Riding Through the Storm

2006-10-27T06:17:00.000-07:00

Create Your Own!

I spent most of yesterday in a storm -- literally. I'm at the ObesityHelp convention in Lexington after nearly an entire day watching grounded planes and seeing storm clouds go by. I found this journey so symbolic of my weight loss journey (and my life) that I didn't mind the delays, wet baggage and lack of sleep.

After a nearly two-hour delay in Baton Rouge, we headed out for Houston knowing that there was a monster storm hovering over most of southeast Texas. The storm was so big and dangerous, that the air traffic navigators were sending the planes on an "S" curve around it. This took nearly two more hours in the air. At maximum flying height, I discovered what it means to be taken out of a storm and allowed to ride side-by-side with it and view its beauty and force at the same time.

The pictures above show a storm the size of a mountain range. Lightning bolts and dark, rolling clouds put on one heck of a show. I took my camera out because I felt safe. Afterall, I had another persepective of this storm.

For two years, I've been riding in this storm. I get up, I get knocked back down, but I get up again. What some may see as slow weight loss progress, I choose to see as survival and life more abundantly.

The one thing I choose to remember about weighing 350 pounds is that life and death were daily considerations. I was not yet 40, but I had seen numerous surgeries, ICU units and buried babies whose coffins were little more than decorated shoe boxes. Life was good, but not abundant and there was litte hope for a long, happy existence.

Now, two years later, I love my size 18 jeans and fun-loving endurance, but most of all, I love the second chance that the Lord has extended to me.

Being removed from this storm for a moment of majesty, I viewed my progress and pain as a spectator. I see the challenge and I see the struggle, but I know I'm safe -- I'm only riding through the storm.

Jazzed Tuna Casserole: Test Kitchen Series

2006-08-20T14:57:00.000-07:00

This is more a discussion about Dreamfields pasta than it is about Tuna Casserole. Many people in a low-carb routine just eliminate pasta completely because of the huge carb load that it carries. I'm hoping to show that the Dreamfields line gives us an opportunity to bring pasta back into our nutritional line ups.

Jazzed Tuna Casserole

2.5 cups of cooked macaroni
1 can Cream of Shrimp Soup
1 Can Cream of Mushroom Soup w/Roasted Garlic
2 Cups Shredded Cheddar Cheese
2 cups frozen peas and carrots
2 -6 oz Cans of Tuna (in water)
¼ Cup Toasted Onion Flakes
2 Tlbs Cilantro
2 Tlbs Parlsey
1 tsp Black Pepper

Boil macaroni and keep fairly firm. Drain and reserve.

In large, deep casserole dish mix soups, vegetables, seasonings and 2/3 of the cheese. Mix well. Drain and flake tuna. Add tuna and drained noodles. Mix well. Smooth top of casserole dish and sprinkle on remaining cheese. Bake in preheated 350 degree oven for 20-30 minutes until ‘bubbly.’

This makes 8 servings (it’s a lot -- freeze it.)

*Nutritional summary uses regular pasta: 307 calories; 20 grams of protein and 28 carbs.

**Nutritional summary using Dreamfields pasta: 280 calories, 20 grams of protein and 9 grams of digested carbs.

Click here to see how the carb/digestable carbs work

Sauteed Spinach and Shrimp: Test Kitchen Series

2006-07-31T15:34:00.000-07:00

Sautéed Spinach and Shrimp with Feta Crumbles

One 9 oz. bag of Baby Spinach
3 cups of Shrimp
1 cup of Feta Cheese crumbles
Crushed or powdered garlic
Juice of one Lime
2 Tbs of dried Cilantro
Salt, Pepper to taste
Non-stick cooking spray

Spray a deep sauce pan with a non-stick, non fat cooking spray. Add heat and add shrimp stirring often when it becomes hot. Add lime juice, garlic and cilantro to sautéing shrimp and continue to stir. When the shrimp first turn “pink,” add fresh spinach to the pan in thirds or until it all fits. Lower the heat and sauté until the spinach is “just tender,” but not over-cooked. Top each plated serving with 1-2 tablespoons of crumbled feta cheese. Makes four servings.

Nutritional summary: 204 calories, 25 grams of protein, 2 grams of fiber and 5 carbohydrates.

Spinach is a great choice for the vegetable you eat “after” you have gotten your protein in. It has high water content, so it does crowd your pouch. It reduces quickly, but is obscenely high in vitamins and nutrients – including *more protein.* It is also a good source of Niacin, and a very good source of dietary fiber, protein, Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Vitamin E, Vitamin K, Thiamin, Riboflavin, Vitamin B6, Folate, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium, Zinc, Copper and Manganese.

The meal shown is served with guacamole and a dab of fat free sour cream, adding 150 more calories, 3 more grams of fiber and about 2 more protein grams. While high in “heart-healthy fats,” the avocado is another power house of nutrients and taste.

This recipe was featured in "New Views," the newsletter of the bariatric support group New U. Thanks to Cindee for taking this picture of me as we went to cheer on our newest OH and New U member Bejai.

Celebration: 100th Band-Aid Post!

2006-07-30T19:04:00.000-07:00

I’m shaking the dust off of my blog and celebrating Entry No. 100 in my chronicles of my journey to health and wellness. First, thank you from the bottom of my heart to all the medical professionals, online friends, prayer warriors and supporters who have stuck by me through thick and less-thick for almost two years now.

I’ve gone way, way too long without posting and I think it’s because I wanted so badly to post a new picture on my blog. I will probably never stop cringing when I see pictures of myself. If the camera adds 10 pounds to normal-weight folks, it must add at least 50 to those of us fighting our weight demons. Thanks to my bestest buddt, my bestest hubby and my bestest new angelette Cindee, I have new pictures that I’m not afraid to look at.

Gosh, where do all those chins come from??

If a picture says a thousand words, mine are shouting “YOU AREN’T THERE YET” in a chorus. But I’m not at all depressed about it because of the YET. It also speaks volumes to how far I’ve come.

If you were around in the beginning of the journey, you read that I started near 350 pounds and was not the healthiest bulb in the pack. There are about five certifiable diseases that qualify you for weight loss surgery. I think I had all of them, but one. Let’s see: Diabetes, hypertension, sleep apnea, degenerative back disease and I have danced with congestive heart failure and pulmonary edema after my sweet princess Cecilia was born.

I’m STILL a big chick, yes, but if you go down the list, I have normal blood sugars, I “should” take one medicine to control my blood pressure (down from 4, but boy, do I get mad/stressed), I don’t sleep with a CPAP machine any more and my back only hurts when I do something stupid. Some other ailments have gotten better. I have improved PCOS symptoms and the masses in my uterus and ovaries that I thought would kill me, for sure, have shrunk or disappeared.

Click here for profile

My faithful readers know that my biggest challenge has been non-lap band related. I am without a doubt, the HERNIA QUEEN. I had a hernia repair, got a staph infection, got the wound opened twice, had a hernia repair, had a hernia repair and this apast January, had a hernia repair. My props and unchanging gratitude go to SupaDoc Karl LeBlanc. (Side note, I’m writing this why traveling through the little town that my beloved SupaDoc was born. Really, this very second! Ok, truth be known, I’m eating Sunday lunch at a seafood restaurant there with my laptop on the table. Golly, people, the computer is clean!)

Anyhoo, (lunch was great, but not at all sinful), I think it's nothing short of a miracle that my bariatric surgeon was also a world renowned hernia specialist. Dude’s like a non-stop shop for "everything Frances." After seven surgeries, if I had an abdominal tattoo, it would read “KARL SCALPED HERE.” As it is, my precious princess thinks every scar or bo-bo means “Dr. DeBlanc” has been around. (What, your 3-year-old doesn't regularly talk about bariatric surgeons?)

Look: Dr. Cece!
My Lap Band device has done everything that it was supposed to. I eat less and it helps with that. When I eat junk, the band isn’t responsible – choice is still up to the patient. In May, we noticed that I had sprung a leak. That’s where the blog left off – “Poof, fill be gone!” Early this month, I got a good size fill to see how much time it would take to be empty again. Well, geez, wouldn’t ya know the leak went away and I was hurting to drink herbal tea at times, none the less, solid protein.

SupaDoc has a new fellow surgeon who laid claim to the leak clogging up when he did the fill under the watchful eye of his proctor. This master in training is from Alabama and is as cute as hound pup in a magnolia patch. He said, with his best ‘Bama twang, “That's right; I got sticky spit!” (--> a real keeper)

I’m a big advocate of bringing new surgeons into the bariatric field and I surely hope Dr. James Corder III decides to stick around in this field because those of us trapped by obesity’s pain need all the super docs we can get.

That super fill lasted a week and a half before I whimped out and asked for a slight unfill. I lost about 8 pounds during that time, but it wasn’t the prettiest thing in the world.

I’m about 15 pounds away from my milestone of 100 pounds loss. I would like to do it this month or near my two-year “banderversary.” Maybe I won’t make it. I’ve often said I wanted to get to be a “very fit” size 18, after reaching near a Size 32. Well, yesterday, I tried on and purchased some “snug” size 18 jean shorts. I’m in them without pain, but it’s not smooth enough to say I’m a Size 18. So, I guess I need to look at the inches and muscle mass more than the ‘evil scale.’

I’m not only eating, but craving more fresh vegetables than any other time in my life and unlike before, I know corn and potatoes shouldn’t count as vegetables. We shop for fresh veggies near the house and I’m always looking for new ways to experiment with spinach, zucchini, eggplant and avocadoes. (I am an avocado fiend!)

August is going to be a busy month on the Band-aid Blog. I’ve been saving up and I plan to start posting recipes and new healthy food choices starting tomorrow with my “Sauteed Spinach and Shrimp with Feta Crumbles.”

Stick around, check back or just use RSS to stay abreast on my progress and blessings. Thanks for caring and for reading.

When the whole world is new, anything is possible

Poof: Fill Be Gone!

2006-05-08T15:47:00.000-07:00

Golly gee gang, I hate it when I'm right sometimes. I saw SupaDoc today and it was an over-all great visit. He really liked my tight little locks and he said it makes me look younger and thinner. I reminded him that I am in my 30s, after all (barely)

I told him I started working out a lot, had some pain and then took a break for a couple of weeks (well, for cramps, hives and unofficial bronchitis) and then I felt completely open like my band was empty. I told him it didn't spark any binges, but I knew I could pack away lots of food. However, I will PB if I eat too fast or dry, bulky stuff and I've power puked some Churches Chicken when my coughing was bad.

Anyhoo, he prepares the fill and had a little trouble, but got in on second try (no fluro for me and usually no problem). He said he was putting in 1 cc because the band was empty. Poof!

Ok, I've lost it all in six weeks. When should I be concerned about this fluid disappearance? I'm starting to wonder if I should go back to ab work, but I need to work my muscles if I'm ever going to score plastic surgery and freedom for skin flaps.

Yes, I am prepared to look on the bright side!

In these 6-7 weeks, I've reduced my body fat by 5 percentage points. This extra gained muscle, plus the late-day weighing, put 4 pounds on the scale. This seems like "statistical voodoo," but the report says I've lost 10 pounds of fat in this period of time. So I'm still approaching a comfortable Size 20. I had zipper failure in the 20 pants and so I wore a size 32 shell which fits like a tunic with a size 24 skirt, with a big *country* safety pin looping it in place on my waist.

It's not everyone's winning cards, but it's the hand I've been dealt and I'm going to play it.

Focus: Fills, Fat and Frances

2006-05-08T00:17:00.000-07:00

It's 2 a.m. and I'm staying up from fear of not wanting to wake after much too little sleep. Yes, drugs are bad, but I'm clean (ier than I've been in years).

I have an appointment with SupaDoc today and I'm so tempted to purge in some way to show some progress in the last six weeks. I lost some weight, started exercising a lot, hurt my ab (just one left) and then it's been up and down a few pounds and I'm sure I will be at or right above my same weight. I'm banking I at least gained some muscle.

I don't feel much restriction and I'll be looking to see if my lonely 1 cc fill has gone South on me. I had lost 1/2 cc on my last visit.

My challenge is to deal with these plateaus as stages instead of the end of the world. For the last couple of weeks, I've been juggling a contract job, a part time teaching job, a new full-time job and the finalist interviews for a potential "dream" job.

Ok, since I also have a preschooler, the lack of progress last month looks much better. I guess I'll just count my blessings -- I will have money coming in this month and I'll show up for my fill in size 20 pants.

I'm so easy.

Life Is Pain -- Or Is It?

2006-04-09T06:57:00.000-07:00

"Life is pain, you just get used to it." -- Spoken by Gina Davis in "The Long Kiss Goodnight"

Some might think all mantras are good: "No guts, no glory," "Slow and steady wins the race," but "Life is pain, you just get used to it?"

I didn't think it was a problems until my 3-year-old ran into the computer room and and screamed the new family motto to her father. What is life, Cece? "LIFE IS PAAAAAINNN, Daddy!"

I'm trying to remember the word my sweet husband used to describe my teaching my baby this valuable lesson about life ... MORBID, yup that's it.

But my life is pain and I'm drawn like a moth to flame by the movie that helped me to see that if pain was a naturally-occurring part of your life, you could conquer it by excepting it. "Sam/Charly," in the movie, is a tough-as-nails assassin who has developed a life from her cover identity and is now your regular PTA mom raising a young daughter. She can take a bullet, spit it out and carve her initials in it, so when her daughter whines about her broken ankle, she has a serious flashback and tells the kid "Life is pain, you just get used to it!"

Cece and I talk a lot about the surgeries and she's fascinated by the scars and marks. Several weeks ago, she walked up to my arm and noticed an old burn scar. Pacifier hanging out of one side of her mouth (Yes, I know, she's too old), she grabbed by arm and exclaimed "Who did that ... did Docta DeBlanc do that?"

Click here for profile

Oh, boy. How do you explain to a child with a pacifier that SupaDoc, Dr. Karl LeBlanc, isn't responsible for every "bo-bo" on mommy's body. And duh, how did she know that he was Dr. Frankenstein, anyway? Mommy's got a lot of bo-bos, but Docta DeBlanc has only helped make mommy better.

Now, when you have to explain open wounds, scars, abscesses and recurrent times that "mommy can't pick you up" to a preschooler, you might opt for an easier mantra "Life is pain." (or you might seek family counseling and avoid whatever trauma I'm inflicting on this baby.)

"Life is pain" has worked for me until I started working my abdominals this week. I've not had much of an exercise routine in this weight loss journey because of the six surgeries in 14 months thing. I was pretty excited and took Foxy's Fitness Center's Buz Blanchard up on his offer to help me develop a strategy for core strengthening and rebuilding my tattered abdominals.

My hat is off to Buz and the awesome organization at Foxy's. I was happy just to be back in the gym and working with a trainer like a normal person, but it's a classy environment to boot and Buz had a heart for where I had been and my desire to go "some place else."

We went through some exercises that are like "abdominals on training wheels." No machines, no weights, just basic and careful abdominal and core strengthening exercises and stretching. Here lies the kicker "Don't do anything that hurts," Buz said, "you know the difference between a muscle burn and something ripping, right?"

Uh, Hmmm... Life is pain?

I went home all excited and the next day I rode my bicycle twice and showed off my new tummy exercises to Scott. Later that night, I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. No problem. Kept going.

The next day, back on the bike, back to the floor exercises afterward. Geez, those lower abs do complain loudly. I could barely do the leg lifts that day because of my old friend, pain. Life is pain and I've gotten used to it, but pain is bad while exercising and I can't discern the difference -- something always hurts!

I finally found something that I feared -- regression. What if I tear something, develop another hernia, have a (eeeek!) another abdominal surgery? Pain, I can live with. Surgeries are finally wearing my nerves thin. I don't wanna go back.

Fear is paralyzing. Well, temporarily. I forced myself to recall all SupaDoc's advice and all the times "pain" led to something that wasn't a good thing. Like a scared little kid, I almost wanted to see SupaDoc just to get the reinforcement that everything was fine. I called and left a message that I "missed" him, but I declined an appointment for expert "hand-holding."

I finally decided (after a one-day pain break) that I feared a lack of progression more than regression and I wasn't going to be "buff" without a little pain, but I could learn to discern good pain (muscle burn) from bad pain (guts being ripped apart) if I gave it enough time. I'm now concentrating on each word and description that Buz gave in my session with him. I'm blessed to find another expert to help me in this journey to wellness.

Everyday, I'm working my upper and lower abdominals and stretching before and after my bike rides and exercising. Buz also helped me see that my water goals were still missing the mark. I was drinking 96-100 ounces a day, but 130 is on mark for my specific weight. This has even helped me with Scott's intake. He was almost to 64 ounces a day when I had to break it to him that his weight dictates (gasp) 180 ounces a day. I thought if he could do 80 that would be great, but he had a 150-ounce day and his energy level was remarkably noticeable. (and appreciated)

Tomorrow ends the first day of the two week challenge on the OH.com Lap Band message board. I've not been on the scale, but I've lost more than an inch in my waist alone after I learned to move pass my fears while still being careful. No, I'm not buff yet, but I do feel I know path to get there.

I Know What I Wanna Be When I Grow Up

2006-03-21T21:30:00.000-08:00

BUFF!

Yes, you heard it right. After a year of losing the same 10-15 pounds over and over again, I'm healthier, not facing any surgeries (cross fingers, toes, eyes) and I have received my Damascus Road instructions and I feel incredibly led to be buff.

I never wanted to be thin, so this is no great surprise to some. Many goal weights can be debated because being too heavy or too thin can raise serious issues. I just decided that a "buff Frances" is something that everyone can live with.

The picture at the right is my attempt to visual where I wanted to be. NO, THAT'S NOT IT. I couldn't find a happy median between saggy-thin and still carrying a hefty load. I did go looking and after bypassing too many naked BBWs and scary-thin folks at their "medical chart weights," I decided to post (mangle) this one as my way of saying "Frances wants muscles, repaired abs and some "junk in the trunk." (Ok, if you don't know that one, I'm not going to be the one to explain it)

After several stagnant months, the scale started moving and I've gotten on and managed to stay on my bike fairly regularly. Building endurance is pretty empowering and I guess I started thinking I could "leap tall buildings." (Shh, yes, I know I'm 5'5")

I brought this bike three newspapers and more than 13 years ago. I'm finally getting some miles out of it. Yes, those are my real legs.

It's pretty cocky for someone like me to be "choosy" about the improved body I'm trying to build. I prefer to call it blessed. I'm starting to get kinda accustomed to the thought of "life more abundantly: ya know having your cake and eating it too"

No, I don't want cake. I want --MORE -- dare I say, I want it all. I want to eat well, play well, work well and be well. I don't know where that will fall on the scale. I don't think it's 130 pounds and no offense to anyone there. I see some things I want to keep and some things I would like to donate to Good Will. (Pick up the extra skin flaps NOW!!!)

I'm sure I will get back to food on this blog, but I'm in a muscle-movement mode. I want a normal percentage of body fat-to-muscle and I don't care as much what that means on the scale.

I joined a 2-Week Challenge for lap bandsters on OH.com. I'm ready to focus on my body for the first time in a long time. I got the green light -- no hernias, no masses, less pain, less swelling (keeps me humble) and spring time is amongst us.

Here's my plan for the next two weeks:

3-5 Miles biking a day
96-100 oz. of water a day
Daily ab and arm work (tattered tummy might hate me for this -- 40 crunches, ouch)
Praise and prayer stretching (Power Palates?)
Evict the scale (weigh on Mondays)
Keep measurements
Set appointments with new PCP and AB personal trainer

I started today at about 268. I would like to reach 260. I've ridden the bike twice by 4:45 p.m. I'm on my 72nd ounce of water. I called the manager and trainer at Foxy's and he will see me in two hours ... yeah, baby!

NSV: Non-scale Victories

2006-03-12T15:58:00.000-08:00

I keep pushing myself to get behind the camera from time to time because it gives me a chance to evaluate and reflect. I still don't like pictures -- especially those with no makeup and wild hair -- but even I can't deny that things have changed. The top picture shows me at the beginning of the journey and today.

My husband and I just came back from a true "countryside bike ride." The scale is about where it was last year at this time, but I have built muscle and endurance. I've had a lot of surgeries, gain some weight and then went up and down the same 10 pounds for months. My muscle mass has gone from 42 percent to almost 53 percent. The muscle weighs more than fat, but it's not a lot of fun to say "Hey, look how much muscle I have" as opposed to "I've lost 100 pounds!"

We biked about 8 miles on GRAVEL and offroad. I've never biked offroad and it's some serious workout. My husband decided when it was time to turn around and go home. It's a pretty spring day in Louisiana and I spent some time in the woods with the man I love (and he got some exercise also). This could have never happened at 350 pounds, but I did try from time to time. I'm thankful for NSVs because without them, I would feel like the entire year was a complete failure.

I've not exercised much or gotten many adjustments to my lap band in the past year and I'm hoping all that is about to change. I do think I still eat too much, but my choices are so much better than they were before.

This is my Mushroom Chicken over Penne Pasta. I take pictures of food more than I do myself. At first it was for my future cookbook, now, I use them to help enforce portion control -- "I ate this much!"

The pasta dish was a little bland at first. Today, I reheated it and added a few peppers and some hot spices. Much better. The most important part of the meal was to use Dreamfield low-carb pasta. This stuff is great with 7 grams of "absorbed carbs" instead of 41 grams and it tastes great. It's not a weekly meal around here, but I have used elbow, linguini and the penne Dreamfields. This stuff is the bomb!

Tomorrow, I'm going to weigh and again consider a lap band fill. Anything under 270 is my goal. I'm ready to eat less and exercise more. When I reach 250, I will be 100 pounds under my highest weight of 350 pounds. I would like to be there by the summertime.

My goal of clothes that fit and a new hairstyle can come much sooner. My closet ranges from 32 to 22 and last week I wore a size 32 top with a size 22 pants. I'm pretty cheap and I only brought the size 22 pants cause big baggy pants are only cool if you're a rap singer (and NOT my age).

Note to Scott: Thank you for doing this for me. Personally it still hurts to see pictures of myself cause I don't see all that double chin when I look in the mirror. What the pictures do is give me comparison and hope. I have to do just a little bit better than this and I will never forget the role you played in reinventing me. Love-Frances

Slow Roast Chicken and Sauteed Veggies: Test Kitchen Series

2006-03-05T15:54:00.000-08:00

I truly love chicken and I like it cooked just about every way imaginable. Chicken can create a challenge for a lot of weight loss surgery postops and many write off chicken all together. Well, just like a marriage, I couldn't let chicken go without at least attempting to get some counseling to keep us together.

Problem: As chicken cooks, it can get dry and stringy. Baked chicken, fried chicken, grilled chicken -- it can all get uncomfortable if it goes "bad" in the process. Most lap band postops gravitate toward cooking solid proteins in a liquid environment (uh, sauces, creams, soups, juices) to keep is moist and tender. I give props to Lap Bander and fellow Bayou Babe Simone J. for saying she had stock in barbecue sauce. I planned to cook this chicken in barbecue sauce, but I didn't have any when I started cooking. Enter my budget-minded solution -- spaghetti sauce.

This chicken is first of all dark meat. Yes, fattier, but more moist and more tender for that same reason. I oven-cooked it covered with heavy foil at only 350 degrees so it would hold its moisture and cook through to the bone without leaving the surface tough and dry.

We are pairing the chicken with a sauteed veggie mix of zucchini, purple onions and red and yellow bell peppers. This mix is vitamin and water rich with extremely low calorie counts. Cooking them and keeping them crispy and crunchy is the hardest part.

Slow-Roast Chicken Leg Quarters

5 chicken leg quarters
1 1/2 cups of spaghetti sauce
Herbs and seasonings: salt, pepper, cayenne pepper, cilantro, garlic and parsley
2 teaspoons of Land of Lakes 'Lite' Butter (not as unhealthy as you might think)
Parmesan cheese (optional on top of cooked chicken)

Rub and massage the butter stuff on the leg quarters. This will help the surface remain soft and hold the seasonings better. I placed the quarters on a glass baking dish before applying the herbs and spices.

Apply a firmly placed sheet of foil on the top (or a lid if you are all "fancy") and bake in a preheated 350 degree oven. Bake covered for 2 and a half hours.

Pour in spaghetti sauce, barbecue sauce or just plain tomato sauce if you want to save even more calories. Put lid (duh, foil) make on top and cook for another 45 minutes to an hour. It's so soft and tender that fine chewing will not be a challenge at all.

Sauteed zucchini and Bells

2 small zucchini
1 red bell pepper
1 yellow bell pepper
1/2 purple onion
2 teaspoons of Land of Lakes Lite
2 tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil
Seasoned with black pepper, cilantro and parsley

Chop the vegetables and place in a heated pan with olive oil and Land of Lakes Lite. Season as it cooks. Saute until cooked, but still crunchy if possible.

Ah, time to eat. The chicken was tender and surrendered right off the bone. The fresh veggies offer an inviting taste and crunch. The rest of the family had pasta with this meal.

The calorie and protein count is pretty decent. The chicken dish has about 350 calories and 35 grams of protein. I added more calories to what Calorie-Count estimates to compensate for the Land O Lakes and sauce. Take the skin off for an ever greater calorie savings (but I would suggest "after" cooking if you are a lap band postop). I added a few extra grams of protein by sprinkling Parmesan cheese on my finished chicken.
http://www.calorie-count.com/calories/item/66284.html

zucchini has about 1/4 of the Vitamin C you need daily in one serving. It also has about 20 calories and a gram of protein (woohoo!). It has other vitamins and iron. I'm new to zucchini consumption and I can't believe how much I like it. Fill up on a big ole bowl of zucchini and you have expended less than 100 calories even if cooked in oil or butter.
http://www.donio.com/veg/zucchini_information.htm

Bell peppers are listed as one of the world's healthiest foods on one health nut Web site. It says: "Want to color your life healthy? Brightly colored bell peppers, whether green, red, orange or yellow, are rich sources of some of the best nutrients available. To start, peppers are excellent sources of vitamin C and vitamin A (through its concentration of carotenoids such as beta-carotene), two very powerful antioxidants."

Vitamins A, C, K, E -- you name it, these puppies have it. It also is a "very good" source of dietary fiber and a cup of bell peppers is about 25 calories.
http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=50#nutritionalprofile

I think this was a yummy meal, even if hubby added salt to everything. I don't cook with a lot of salt any more and I think I totally eliminated it from some of these items. I think this meal costs me about 400 calories and had about 40 grams of protein in it. Earlier, I had about 15 grams of protein from milk and I will have more chicken for dinner. This day should hold about 80+ grams of protein and I'm well under 1000 calories before dinner.

Any comments or suggestions to this meal would be appreciated.

Shrimp Salad Entrees: Test Kitchen Series

2006-02-11T19:22:00.000-08:00

I was the type of kid who never wanted to achieve something until someone told me it was out of my reach. Fresh and raw vegetables can be a real challenge after weight loss surgery. The stomach capacity is smaller and food must be chewed well and slowly. Lots of people give up on fresh vegetables, but I know there's healing power in garden produce so I'm resolving to study, plan and eat more fresh, raw vegetables.

The following two salads are topped with jumbo shimp to marry the best of lean protein with the fiber and vitamin power of fresh vegetables. (Why the emphasis on fiber?)

Herb-Sauteed Shrimp Salad
1 Cup shrimp
Herbs and spices: Cilantro, Dill, parsley, pepper, salt
Olive oil
Romaine lettuce mix
1 tomato
1/4 cup of carrots
Apple cider vinegar
1 oz. fat-free American cheese

Heat a sauce pan with small amount of extra virgin olive oil. Place shrimp, spaced out, in hot oil. Add herbs and spices and cook until shrimp are pink, but still firm.

Arrange salad items already sprinkled with vinegar. Place shrimp on top of crisp salad and put cheese on top.

Lemon-Cilantro Shrimp Salad
2 cups of shrimp
Olive oil
Cilantro
1/3 cup of lemon juice
Romaine lettuce mix
1/2 cup of carrots (shredded)
1/2 avocado (diced)
Apple cider vinegar
Cheese was optional

Heat a sauce pan with small amount of extra virgin olive oil. Place shrimp, spaced out, in hot oil. Add lemon juice and cilantro and cook until shrimp are pink, but still firm.

Arrange salad items already sprinkled with vinegar. Place shrimp on top of crisp salad and put cheese on top. Makes two servings

I'll be the first to admit I'm exprimenting. The carrots are present in each recipe because I have a huge bag of baby carrots and everyone in the house has been munching on carrots except the cats. The carrots are all about texture, crunch and fiber. They contain a big percentage of natural sugars, but the calorie price is still low considering they pack lots of vitamins and healing.

Avocadoes are incredible fruits (or vegetables, you tell me). They contain a high amount of fat, but it's the type of fat associated with a healthy heart. They provide fiber and protein at the same time as well as having 60 percent more potassium than bananas. And you weight loss surgery, postops, it's also high in Vitamin E (Helps hair, nails, scarring, etc.)

Shrimp's a little pricey, but we have a good selection of it down here on the Gulf Coast. It's an awesome lean protein with about 60-80 calories a serving with very little fat and no carbohydrates. It's also got a decent amount of iron and other vitamins. The biggest minus would be for folks who have high cholesterol levels. This may come as a shock if you follow this blog, but high cholesterol is the one very common health problem I don't have. I will be doing the shrimp salad variations with crunchy vegetables more often.

Oatmeal-Yogurt Variations: Test Kitchen Series

2006-02-11T18:40:00.000-08:00

I'm really starting to love this recipe because it lays a good foundation for protein and fiber and leaves lots of room for personal choices and customizing and altering it for one's particular needs.
(Why the emphasis on fiber?)

I've stepped out of the box to offer my first variation of my classic Oatmeal Yogurt Crunch. I've substituted the slivered almonds in the recipe for a 1/2 cup of Kashi Go-Lean on top of each serving.

Here's what you are left with:

About 33-40 grams of protein -- I used Juice Plus Complete powder for 13 grams, oatmeal(4), yogurt (11 grams) and 1/2 serving of Kasha (5) ... Your protein serving might have 20 grams or more of protein.
Up to 10 grams of fiber -- I used juice plus powder for 4 grams, oatmeal (2), Kashi (4) and a little from the fruit ... Your fresh fruit, raisins might have more fiber.
Vitamins from real food!
PAIN IN YOUR JAW -- OK, this is a lot of chewing and I can only chew on one side right now since my last surgery. I'm going back to almonds folks. This means only about 28-30 grams of protein, but I do get to eat lunch and dinner. I do plan to use Kasha Go-Lean as a hunger eliminator between meals (I don't get that much), or I guess I could try it with milk (a breakfast cereal, I'm a genius!). Here's a Kashi commerical and info site.

Can you please join me with your variations to Oatmeal-Yogurt Crunch? A good Web buddy Mary has already shared some great ideas involving raisins and dried fruit.

I share my recipes, creations because I get a lot of good ideas in return. And hopefully, we can spare each other experiences that might not be "ideal" like avoid the Kasha Go-Lean if you have dental issues.

Please leave comments below with your variations. Your turn ...

I Resolve: Three Week Postop (X6)

2006-02-05T14:57:00.000-08:00

I'm on the other side of three weeks postop from my multiple hernia repair. It's unrelated to the lap band, but all related to my life and journey. Through the pain of recovery, it's hard to tell what got better and what got worse. It's been a busy few weeks of happenings.

I Don't Care Update: I probably had many folks thinking I left my mind in Plaquemine, La. I will never forget Reality Doc and his part in the last 17 months. Everyone needs a dose of reality paired with support to keep focused on the big picture. My internist was that support and direction and I'll always appreciate that. My last message to him was directed to his staff: "Please tell the staff that I'm not the one that dropped that trailer on their sister. I was on the other side of Oz at the time. You've been great. I wish you well."

Hernia pain update: I hurt, therefore, I am. The pain got better and then it got worse. No matter what direction it goes, I'm reassured that hernia repairs are just extremely painful -- It's gonna hurt. I chased my little dynamo at a museum opening yesterday and actually rode a few miles on my bicycle this week (OUCH!). I guess I'm going to live.

Swallowing pain, eating update: I was blessed to spend time with a new doctor. My beloved SupaDoc is in Europe saving the slopes from obesity (I know he's working hard.) A doctor doing a fellowship with his group made me feel both old and extremely special. Doctors are getting younger, but he's too cool to be given the original title of "BabyDoc." He took a serious interest in my discomfort and made an effort to bring some relief. I've tried a medicine that would have eased the pain after swallowing if I had esophagus ulcers. I also had a test to monitor my swallowing mechanisms. Jury's still out, but we have ruled some things out. DocDetermined, MissionDoc or just SweetheartDoc -- I just can't decide ...

Weight-loss update: I think I said I didn't care. Ok, I lied. I still "WANT" to lose weight. I just don't want to lose perspective on the big picture and a balanced way of looking at life and food. After surgery, I gained about 10 pounds. As of last week, I had lost those fluid pounds and about 10 more. I am 80 pounds down from my highest weight of 350. Getting to 250 would be sweet. A hundred pounds rings well in anyone's ear no matter how they got there.

I Resolve: I want it all. I want to lose weight at a healthy rate. I want to eat from every food group without dependence on chemicals and synthetic "Soylent Green." I want many more days running behind pink power girl in the park. I want to ride my bicycle and build muscle as I lose fat. I don't want to be truly "thin," but I think I can be buff. It may not be easy, that's why I resolve.

Tuna-N-Friends Wrap: Test Kitchen Series

2006-02-05T04:36:00.000-08:00

I've listed a similar recipe using grilled chicken. I was about to go that route, but I needed something a little softer. Here's the compromise. I had to say "Tuna-N-Friends" cause this sandwich-like thing has everything but the kitchen sink in it. There's so much protein and some good veggie content that I thought this was worth mentioning again.

This traditional sandwich contents are put in a wrap because it's easier to chew and swallow for a lot of weight-loss surgery postops. I used to have a lot of problems with sliced bread and sandwiches. It's about 50-50 for me now and I've recently started buying Nature's Own Light (honey wheat) for me and my family. It has 40 calories per slice and is full of protein and fiber.

Anyhoo, for this meal, we used a Herb-garlic wrap made by Mission. Other Mission wraps I've used include Spinach-Herb and Sun-dried Tomato. They have about 200 calories a wrap, but they are big enough to make two servings if you can't that much on bread.

Tuna-N-Friends Wrap

1 flavored wrap
Canned tuna (in water)
Tomato slices
Chopped onions
Cheese slice
Avocado slices
2 slices of bacon (hubby smiles, but I guess optional)

Place wrap on flat surface and load it up in the middle. Wrap it up like one would a burrito with the ends not spilling out. Press the wrap in heated, pan-sprayed pan.

Those people who have problems with "doughy" bread will benefit from a toasted, crispy wrap.

This wrap is a big, filling meal. I've shared it and left half for another meal. Even if you leave the bacon out, you get protein from the wrap, the tuna, cheese and avocado slice. Many people shy away from avocadoes because of the fat content, but they contain healthy fats which are heart-friendly. A serving should not exceed half an avocado, however.

Hot, crispy and full of vitamins and protein. Enjoy.

You Heard it Right, I Don't Care

2006-01-30T18:47:00.000-08:00

It's been nearly three weeks since my last surgery (seven in 16 months) and I'm trying to convince myself that I don't care.

I lost Reality Doc today.

For those of you who read the blog, Reality Doc is my internist and SupaDoc is my weight loss surgeon. I adore SupaDoc and his skills are unmatched, but it takes a village to keep me alive and Reality Doc has always been the "face reality" part of the team. He's not a big advocate of the lap band, but he's always been a big advocate of Frances. After the staph infection, I couldn't see how I could continue to fight all my health problems and still struggle to lose nearly 200 pounds.

I liked the challenge of one day showing Reality Doc that the lap band could work for me. In the meantime, he kept me alive. My blood pressure, diabetes, anxiety (hang nails, you name it), didn't go away like wimps after weight loss surgery. They put up quite a fight and I always felt I needed a good PCP (personal care physician) to help me see the "big picture" of my health.

The staph infection marked a big change in my life and health. I lost my insurance between surgeries to open and debreed my wound and I've been at the mercy of a public health plan ever since. Medicaid assigned me to a doctor who has decided to stop taking new patients and the plan won't pay for visits to Reality Doc.

A few weeks ago, I had multiple hernias repaired in my abdominal wall. The pain and complications were getting the best of me, so I decided to throw up the white flag to get my blood pressure and anxiety in check and make sure a gash left in my mouth isn't becoming infected.

The doctor’s a pretty cool dude, but he’s surrounded by the “hounds of hell” masquerading as clerks, receptionists and nurses in his office. I’ve never had a “hello” or any greeting since losing my insurance and the loud whispers usually start while I’m in the waiting room. I got called back today before the inquisition started, but apparently the “free-loader” alert sounded right after and I was surrounded by three hounds who seemed puzzled why I had “no” insurance. “We can’t accept your Medicaid and we can’t accept your cash,” they protested. I assured them that the doctor knew this, but agreed to see me because I was having a problem. “That would amount to a ‘free’ visit,” shout whispered one of the women. I insisted on not leaving, so they put me in an open room to see what the doctor’s wishes were. The uproar in the office continued at a low roar and if I didn’t know any better, I would have thought a serial killer was visiting.

“He’ll see you,” the nurse said, “but just this one time,” she warned. She listened to my issues and complications after surgery and then said it would take her a while to find a cuff large enough for my arm. Mind you, this office sees weight loss surgery patients and saw me when I weighed 350 pounds. Bat wings aside, I’m sure my arms should have shrunk some with the rest of me, but the “large enough” cuff never surfaced.

I sat in my little room (with the door open) and watched a parade of patients go by and the office chat actually moved off the free-loader at spitting’s distance of the desk. I never got weigh and my blood pressure was never taken. I became “Large Invisible Black Woman.” After this continued for 45 minutes, I was certain that this wasn’t going to change unless I created a scene and thus farther elevating my blood pressure and anxiety. The lap band surgery must work miracles because no one blinked as “Large Invisible Black Woman” just slipped away, passed the desk and left the office.

I still appreciate all Reality Doc has done for me, I just realize that's not a good environment for a patient suffering from high blood pressure an anxiety.

I don’t feel like binge-eating or drowning my sorrows in chocolate sauce. Until I can see past the pain, I just don’t care about pounds, inches and cute little blue jeans. That may seem like blasphemy to the weight loss faithful, but when my journey to wellness gets tough, I refuse to just lament on the usual “fat-girl” issues. Wellness is still a goal, but I feel the need to focus on non-scale issues.

Eating is very painful right now. I can only chew on one side of my mouth and every bite swallowed is often followed by pain and discomfort. I’ve had at least two people tell me that on the bright side, I’m losing a lot of weight. Nope, it doesn’t work that way. I retained after the last surgery and I’m just standing still for the most part after that water weight is balanced. Hey, I forgot, I really don’t care. (Right now. Smirk)

Coconut and Chicken Soup: Test Kitchen Series

2006-01-10T14:58:00.000-08:00

I’ve been experimenting again! Scott and I found ourselves with a free evening in Natchez, Miss., lately and took an evening stroll looking for some inviting grub. I’ve been on the “All Sushi” diet for quite some time and we found a sushi and Thai place called Planet Thailand.

Not only did I find a nice selection of sushi rolls, but we also had a bowl of warm and inviting Thai Coconut and Chicken Soup. I was so intrigued by this “gumbo of the East,” that decided that I had to bring it home to my little Louisiana kitchen.

I did my research and found a recipe and then went on a search to find the ingredients. While getting the fixing for sushi ala Spencers, we also got a few items for the soup. The following recipe is slightly altered. First, I’ve not found lemon grass, but I have found a Thai curry paste that contains lemon grass. I felt like the one I had before had a rich, fresh, green taste, so I’ve added fresh chopped parsley and cilantro (Thai gumbo, here we come!)

This isn’t a rich, thick soup. It’s incredibly thin considering the punch it packs. It fits my taste and soft, thin food needs right now. I hope you enjoy a bowl of your own soon.

Thai Coconut and Chicken Soup

1 14 oz. can of coconut milk
10-12 ounces of chicken broth
½ pound diced chicken
½ cup chopped parsley
½ cup chopped cilantro
1 tsp. cayenne or crushed red pepper
1 tsp. Red Curry Paste (or lemon grass and more pepper)
1 tsp chopped ginger or powdered ginger
3 green onions
Salt to taste
Veggies (lots of room for your taste):
1 can whole baby corn
1-2 cans of mushrooms (I liked straw mushrooms, but small caps OK)

I made my own chicken broth, so I let the parsley and cilantro cook down with the chicken.
When the chicken is cooked and herbs are tender, add coconut milk, red pepper, curry paste (or lemon grass) and ginger.

Bring to a roaring boil, then add the veggies of choice and chopped green onions. Lower heat and slimmer for 30-40 minutes, stirring just cause it smells sooooo good. Add a couple tsp of salt, taste and then adjust for your preference.

Serve hot and enjoy!

Test Kitchen Series: Oatmeal-Yogurt Crunch

2006-01-07T14:43:00.000-08:00

My oatmeal breakfast dish usually makes 5-6 servings for me. I make it early in the week and eat on it all week. I use fruit that doesn't turn brown and mushy, so it looks good for a while. I've had it with bananas and the problem is it's brown after the first day.

Here's how I usually make this stuff:

Oatmeal-Yogurt Crunch
2 cups plain, low-fat yogurt
1 cup plain, rolled oats (raw and toasted if I find them)
1 can of mandarin oranges
1 can of pineapple chunks (tidbits, crushed -- depending on what I can process)
1/4 cup of almond slivers
1 serving of protein supplement per serving *right before* serving

I mix the yogurt, oats and fruit in a big bowl I purchased just for this purpose. I left it sit overnight. In the morning, I add the almonds and fold them in the mixture. I put a scoop of vanilla protein powder in each bowl right before serving.

Tips:

I sometimes have to loosen the protein powder so the dish can be smooth and soft. I've made a protein paste out of more yogurt, milk or even water on different occassions.
Other fruit I've used includes peaches and bananas.
This keeps very well in a sealed container for a week.
When I'm having trouble with "chunky" stuff, I just keep taking stuff out. Without the fruit and nuts, this is actually a great mushy.

Depending on what type of yogurt and nuts I used, this full recipe is made to include about 230 calories a bowl and can have from 25-35 grams of protein. It's gotta a lot of fiber ... a lot of fiber. There's protein all the ingredients except the fruit. I use fresh fruit or fruit packed in water or juice so it's a good source of vitamins.

State of The Frances Report

2006-01-04T04:09:00.000-08:00

It seems like forever since I've posted a State of the Frances address. Ok, here goes:

I survived my second Christmas with the band with no major overeating because I threw up twice during Christmas dinner. This Yakfest didn't surprise me. Eating has been difficult and sometimes swallowing is like taking a jab from a bull elephant. After everyone left my parents, I got into the leftovers, found two baked potatoes, mashed and creamed, skins and all, and mixed my brother's shrimp Alfredo remnants to make shrimp and potato soup. Got some protein and it stayed down.

I'm 16 months into my lap band surgery. I'm stuck on about 70 pounds lost and having my sixth hernia-related surgery a week from today (Jan. 11). I love the band and the lifestyle agrees with me, but when I started going on the surgery/swelling roller coaster, the scale wasn't very kind. Whatever!

I don't think I should change my eating habits or start starving myself. I'm concentrating on recovering from these recurrent hernias (***Not related to weight loss surger ***) and when that time comes, I'm sure the weight loss will continue.

I wasn't able to exercise much my first year, but I've been on my bike regularly since October and I take my preschooler to daycare 4 miles RT about 2-3 times a week. My bike has a trailer, the kid is 40 pounds and the abdominal hernia is quite noticeable. (Hint: That's it on the exercise folks; I tried a crunch in the doctor's office and that's OUT!).

For those of you who don't know the story, I was banded in August 2004, had a hernia repair in November and had two surgeries to debreed a staph infection in late February. I had two open hernia repairs in March and May. Next week, I will have my fourth hernia repair and sixth hernia-related surgery.

My attitude is chemically adjusted, but still ranges from "I'm OK" to "COULD SOMEBODY JUST SHOOT ME, ALREADY."

All my clothes are way too big and then sometimes snug around my tummy. I'm always packing at least one huge fluid collection near my mid-section, so without all that swelling, I'm not sure if I've lost weight or not. My pre-surgery clothes were 26-30 and now I'm in 22s with a cute little pot belly. (not!)

I do know that I hurt and eating is extremely difficult with abdominal swelling. I would love to have a panni removal now, but we all know that's reserved for people at or near goal. So, until then, I will continue to carry it around in a wheel barrow.

Good news: The lap band has survived the surgeries, infections and swelling and should be able to continue its job when my body is really to work with the tool.

I have a ton of stuff to add to my blog, so I think I'll take a second to do that also.

Lucky Surgery Seven (with the same loveable SupaDoc--pray for him) is Jan. 11.

I'm already riding my bike and I WILL play tennis before 2006 is over.

Onward!

A Break in the Silence

2005-12-22T04:02:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I posted or updated my blog. For those who know me well, that can only mean I've been sick and awaiting surgery (again?).

I started feeling yucky about a month ago and I've had trouble swallowing and lots of stomach and chest pain. I had a bad cold after the OH Houston event (BUT IT ROCKED!) and I could tell that my hernia had enlarged.

I had a few tests like upper GI and gall bladder and finally a CT scan that showed the hernia was problematic and needed to be repaired since the last patch did not hold.

I'm not losing any weight, but just trying to hold my own again. I've been cycling to daycare 2-3 mornings a week so I am getting a workout (pulling a 40-pound child and a special trailer attached to bike). Restriction isn't a problem since everything hurts to eat. We have discovered that I best tolerate suishi. No overcooking, no frying, no sauces, just raw fish and rolled rice sits OK.

So here's my summary: When I have surgery (should be quicky day surgery) on next month I'll be 17 months. Including my lap band, that will be seven surgeries (of those, four hernia repairs) since August 2004. I was down about 75 pounds and I've gained up and down for several months.

I love my band and life with the band. I fully believe that one day when I'm past these abdominal issues, I'll do well in reaching my goal.

That's it. This is the hand I've been dealt and I plan to play it.

Feeding the Family post band

2005-12-21T03:55:00.000-08:00

(Like the Best of Carson, this is one of my replies on another Web site)

Banding and feeding your family

Karen wrote: For those of you who have to cook for a spouse or significant other and kids too. How do you feed them and make it band adaptable?

I have 2 kids 7 and 10 who a very finicky eaters. My husband will eat just about anything as long as it doesn't have anything "weird" in it. I know you need protein first, but does it always have to be a piece of meat, such as chicken, turkey or pork? ...

Reply:

I have a big, tall husband and a tall (not as big) 3-year-old. We all basically eat the same thing. I rarely have a plain piece of meat and I get all my protein in. I think the "eat protein first" rule applies because so many people have a hard time getting enough protein until they eat it first. I do meaty soups and casseroles.

At first, I had less pasta in my pasta dishes, then I started using Dreamfields low carb pasta or substituting veggies for pasta in traditional pasta dishes. Dreamfields is the bomb and no one can tell that it's low carb/high fiber because it's so tasty. I also started making a pasta sauce and serving my meal over eggplant or spaghetti squash.

I choose the band because I wanted to continue a very normal lifestyle for me and my family. If the lifestyle involves portion control as opposed to another diet, it's very possible (after the inital healing) for everyone in the house to eat the same foods. I've even found a way to reincorporate an occassional peanut butter and jelly sandwich using Nature's Own 'Light' Honey Wheat bread. My 3-year-old eats this high-fiber,tasty bread the same way she would the weak, white stuff. Two slices are low-carb and have 80 calories (for both). To boot, the stuff even has a decent amount of protein (5 grams) a serving.

It's really possible to succeed without being bound to the "plain ole piece of meat" meals. Takes some work, research and a comitment to a normal, balanced nutritional plan.

OHLA: New Support Group

2005-12-18T04:25:00.000-08:00

Ohla from OHLA (ObesityHelp Louisiana)!

Join OHLA For Our December Meeting And Protein Sampling. We will have a ton of free samples and all the holiday support you can shake a stick at:

http://members.cox.net/franspencer/ohla/index.html

If nothing else, look at our cool little invitation page. I do dabble in a little Web design from time to time.

OHLA started in New Orleans, but many of its members are displaced and around Baton Rouge.

If anyone is considering weight loss surgery or needs support in your weight loss journey, I have two wonderful groups to refer you to -- OHLA and NooMee (soon to become New U).

Send me an email about either one.

Now or Later You Must Face It

2005-11-01T23:18:00.000-08:00

Growing up black and a comfortable two blocks from the projects, I learned early on that there were parts of our life and culture other races just could never understand. Hair-care products=afro sheen; low-income housing development=projects; juvenile detention center=reform school; candy=now-a-later.

My love for editing must have started there because even before ebonics, we could shorten the snot out of any concept – low-income urban housing development, indeed!

Anyway, the candy of the hood is my chosen topic of the night. Hold on to your protein shakes, baby, cause tonight I’M BINGEING NOW-A-LATERS!

Even with an allowance of less than a dollar, one could easily be rich in Now-Or-Laters. A pack of ten cost about a dime when I first started being a connoisseur of fine Now-Or-Lating. And oh, the flavors: grape, apple, cherry, chocolate, and the speciality flavors. We traded them like cards and used them as the “pot” in our elementary card games like pit-a-patty (yes, illegal back porch gambling – the shame of Lake Charles, La.)

I knew their fame was grown out of proportion when I last visited the Ebony Theatre on Railroad Avenue. I don’t remember the movie I saw, but I remember the menu: row after row; every single counter – only Now-a-Laters! That’s the night I discovered the exotic flavors saved for special occasions like coconut, chocolate and pineapple. I died and had gone to Now-or-Later Heaven.

I normally admit to having no obsessions and binge cravings. Well, every now and then, the world’s woes seem only curable by a tiny brown paper bag of Now-or-Laters. I drove (or my husband drove) the extra mile to find a store with real ghetto Now-or-Laters when I was pregnant and not on diabetic restrictions yet. I remember sneaking a big bag of them into the Advocate newsroom and stopping at every black person’s desk and letting them pick their favorite and reminist on ‘our’ secret.

This was a tough day for me. The pressuring phone calls started early, my 3-year-old is on a candy strike and low and behold, my loving sweet husband picks this day to revert back to being ‘a man.’ Argh!

Some wls surgery patients can’t eat under stress. I guess I’m one of them. Eating while ‘slightly hacked off” led to some hacking up later during bath and litter box duties. Yup, I threw up in both bathrooms while giving Cecilia a bath and appeasing my new kitty childs Precious and Dinky.

Enter the Now-or-Laters from the Halloween offerings. Since no Tricks came for our Treats, I decided that this binge experiment was something I was simply destined for.

So how many licks does it take to get to the end of a Now-or-Later binge? I can’t count the first two cause I tossed them with the rest of dinner, but there’s a healthy stack sitting on the tray of my baby’s highchair. She’s even learned the favors: Red, purple and green.

I just stopped to open one that Cece discovered sitting amongst the remains. “What’s this, a red?” I gave her the candy and kept the wrapper.

I don’t think I’ve gained a Now-or-Later pound. I just need to brush my teeth and face everything I wanted to go away 30 Now-or-Laters ago. On top of all that, we ghetto folk were wrong again, again. This wrapper clearly reads “Now-AND-Later.” I don’t know my own addiction.

Now or later? I chose later and it’s come very soon. I can’t eat another bite and the stresses of the day are still mounting. Not to mention I’m writing with a 3-year-old on my back and her stuffy-head daddy needs “stomething sto I con breathe and go ta sleep.”

So, if you thought I didn’t fall and have these bad days, you were wrong. I took two steps backwards and I have the color wax paper all over the floor to prove it. It just didn’t help. Tomorrow, I’ll try some earnest prayer and a nice bike ride. At least prayer and exercise never gave anyone a cavity. Now or later, you just gotta face it.

I Can Do This!

2005-10-31T12:16:00.000-08:00

Last week I decided to go to the doctor, face the weight gain music and move onward as aggressively as possible. I went to see SupaDoc, weighed and got a much-awaited fill. The news: I gained nearly 10 pounds since mid-August.

I COULD NOT BE HAPPIER!

Before you send for the goofy wagon, please let me explain. Everything but the scale shows the signs of victory and this is what we term an NSV or ‘non-scale victory.’ My body composition analysis shows that I have picked up 8-10 pounds, but reduced my body fat by nearly 20 percent. My body fat percentage is down to under 34 percent after remaining at 50-51 percent since I’ve been trying to lose weight with my lap band (Adjustable Gastric Banding).

If you get a second, you might check out how the Tanita Body Composition Analyzer works. This machine has never been my friend before. It gives a weight and then estimates what percentage of ones total weight is fat, muscle and water. There are about 3-4 ways to compute these figures. The most accurate is the use of a chamber which requires getting weighed under water. Many gyms use skin fold calibers that look like plastic fat pinchers. I’m not going to get into all the pros and cons of the methods, but I do feel Tanita gives me a decent point of reference to at least compare how my weight composition has changed over the last 14 months.

According to the device, my fat weighed more than 140 pounds on last analysis. Last week’s figures showed my 34 percent fat total weighed 99 pounds. That’s a reduction of 40 pounds of fat. Muscle mass and water are both heavier than fat, so the end result is that I’ve lost fat, gained muscle and I’m heavier. My goal of being under 30 percent body fat is well within my reach.

One might debate the benefit of this NSV. Before you challenge me to a battle, please remember that it means I may or may not be swifter in catching you, but once I do, the 280+ pounds feels the same sitting on you despite its exact composition.

So, how did I celebrate my new-found good news/bad news?

First, I made a commitment to experimenting with new types of fresh vegetable dishes. We’ve had spaghetti squash, zucchini, eggplant, onions, bell peppers, spinach and mushrooms, just to name a few.

I’m increasing my water goals to 80-100 ounces per day. That’s not too hard, but I think this will help as it gets colder because I usually dry out in fall/winter.

I’m still attempting 80 grams of protein or more per day. Drinking lots of milk and my Oatmeal-Yogurt Crunch for breakfast makes this figure easy to reach and surpass each day. Our other protein sources include Juice Plus Complete, cheese, peanut butter and some fun grilling experiments. I can eat freshly grilled steak with no problems. I can also eat MY OWN fried chicken, and this is more a stipulation of my marriage contract than an unbearable craving. Fried chicken purchased outside the home will just not do for either of us.

I’ve re-incorporated sliced bread. My baby’s entering a peanut butter and jelly phase so I started looking for some ‘family friendly’ bread that everyone could be happy with. Nature’s Own Light Honey Wheat won out because it’s tasty with 80 calories for two slices with 5 grams of protein. See how those 80 grams of protein can be easy to attain?

I’ve demoted my milk choice from lowfat/fat free Organic Valley to Carb Down fat-free milk beverage. This was a tough choice. SupaDoc once asked why I still drank milk with fat and I said I needed to buy one milk choice for my entire family. Well, since both Cecilia and I can go through 1-2 half gallons a week, this excuse just wasn’t holding up. I’m buying one of each instead of buying two of the same kind. (Shhh… don’t tell SupaDoc he was right). Carb Down milk contains no fat and much less sugar, carbohydrates and milk sugars than even fat-free milk. A serving of Carb Down milk contains 45 calories and 8 grams of protein. Duh, Frances …Just drink the milk!

I have plans to start a test-kitchen series on my blog really soon showing the steps to create some of these healthy dishes. I have pictures and recipes ready to go. Most of them are vegetables because I’m craving fresh vegetable dishes right now (yes, Toto, we are NOT in Kansas any more).

Finally, a few days after my 39th birthday and the day after my second fill, (I have 1 cc in my 4 cc band), we purchased a family fitness tool. Scott and I have been riding separately, but rarely together because we have a 3-year-old hitchhiker. We now have a two-seater child trailer attached to my bicycle. I can now ride my bike up and down hills pulling trailer and 40 pound preschooler. (Ouch, was that my back?).

Yes, it hurt a lot at first, but I don’t need a babysitter or nursery to get my exercise. Where I go, she goes and she adds some extra resistance to my cycling workouts. SupaDoc’s nurse Shari deserves the praise for making that wonderful suggestion. I guess I can hand it down to her when she gets married and has two or three kids. (Shh … don’t tell [single, very thin] Shari about these plans)

Cece thinks the cycling is really fun, so we have a win-win situation here.

Bikes, birthdays and bands

2005-10-20T23:02:00.000-07:00

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m strange. If my last name was Normal, my first name would be Abby. (Abby Normal…lol – my favorite line from Young Frankenstein)

I get real reflective around my birthday and low and behold, there’s one breathing down my neck. Cecilia Grace, my miracle baby, just turned 3. I’ve heard much about the limited “unprompted” vocabulary of 3-year-olds. Less than an hour ago, I was reviewing an old weight loss surgery newsletter and Cecilia ran over to my laptop: “That’s Docta De Blan. Look Docta De Blan!”

Ok, I’m saying my preschooler, unsolicited, identifies bariatric surgeons. Is this normal?

About this time last October, I got my first lap band fill. ‘Docta De Blan ( SupaDoc Karl LeBlanc to most adults) and my family kept in close contact after that point for numerous health crisis including five surgeries between November and May. So, your child talks about Santa and the Easter Bunny; my child talks about bariatric surgeons.

Since it’s better late than never, I’m trying to incorporate more exercise in my routine. Well, that’s only partially true. After more than a month with our car in the shop, my husband and I blew the dust off our bicycles and I’ve been taking regular spins around my subdivision. I’m taking it real slow, but it’s great to be on a bike weighing less than 300 pounds and not recovery from surgery. Even before the bike rides, I was starting to make some weight loss progress again. I’ve dropped about 6 pounds since the end of the Hurricane Rita Saga. Weight, fat, water – I wouldn’t care if it were whipped cream – the scale is moving.

I’m so ready for good things to happen, that I made an appointment for a fill. If you’re counting, I’ve had one ½ cc fill, one complete unfill and a return to the ½ cc in the last 14 months since my weight loss surgery. It’s not normal, but it’s what I’ve had to do because of my hernia repairs, staph infection and open wound issues. I’m not going to be greedy; another ½ cc will be fine with me. Just a dab will do me, but of course that’s up to Docta De Blan.

I know my capacity varies, but most of the time, it’s more than I should consume. I have made great strides, though, on not drinking during meals. My solid capacity varies. After a slow and well-chewed burger tonight, I still felt hungry. I’m sure this was just exhaustion and stress, but it seemed like something was missing. I had a piping hot bowl of sautéed spinach and Portobello mushrooms. No, this also isn’t normal, but please refer to the beginning of this post.

Abby Normal is getting old.

Victory: Water, weight and waiting

2005-10-15T22:29:00.000-07:00

I admitted defeat a few days ago without even realizing it. I said I could never follow all the water rules without a 12-step program. After one of my surgeries this year, swallowing and swelling were dual conflicts for me. I started regular “sipping” with meals to keep food from getting stuck and later it turned into fairly heavy drinking with meals; especially when eating out.

I never went back to the “no drinking with meals” rule and I could no longer justify all my reasons to ignore the instructions. Dr. Mark Hausmann once explained that drinking with meals leads to more overeating because the water helps to wash food out of the stomach at a faster rate and results in a delay in that “full feeling.” I have a lot of trust in Dr. Hausmann, but I always thought my swelling and wound issues made me unique and maybe a little liquid would keep me from getting sick while eating. Well, I still get sick sipping water at times so I decided to score this debate: Hausmann – 1; Spencer – 0.

I decided to follow Nike’s advice and “just do it.” Instead of sipping water with my meals for the last two days, I’ve concentrated on thorough chewing and smaller bites. Results: No productive burps or pain from stuck food. Even my pork chops went down with comfort – slow, but comfortable. I’ve also waited an hour or more after the meal to drink my tiny 24 oz. glass of water.

Instead of 8 glasses of water, I’ve turned my water consumption up to 80 - 100 ounces a day. Considering the fact that most super-size drinks are at least 32 oz. it doesn’t seem to be a lot to exceed 64 ounces which is the recommendation for someone at a normal weight.

I’m starting my day with 30+ grams of protein and trying to get another 40-50 between the next two meals. Milk, yogurt and cheese make this easy without adding too many carbs.

My restart efforts have been rewarded – THE SCALE MOVED!!

As of this morning, I seem to have lost about half of my hurricane weight gain. My goal is to have the excess gone before I get fill in about two weeks. I think by simply revisiting the weight loss surgery basics I can be back on the band wagon. Now that’s something I’ll (in an hour and a half) drink to!

Scorecard on My Restart Efforts

2005-10-13T21:39:00.000-07:00

Rome wasn’t built in a day and my empire is no exception to the ‘time and patience’ rule. I hit the restart button on my weight loss efforts and the last couple of days have been a combination of tries and trial-and-error.

Nothing I ate yesterday stayed down. Oh, well. I will call that day errors. Mild cheddar over garlic triscuit crackers – yacked. Too much fiber consumed too fast. Fresh-herb baked chicken breast with stuffed portabellos – half yacked. I learned. I’m eating the right things, but not concentrating on chewing slowly and big chunks become, well, blown chunks. (Excuse the graphic nature of this post) After things settled down, I returned to my cold chicken and spinach-stuffed portabello. It wasn’t too bad chewed to death.

Rule No. 1 – Eat protein first and eat slowly and carefully. Funny thing is that only goes for healthy food. I could eat Orioles and Rocky Road ice cream at the speed of light. Yes, that’s weird. I don’t make the rules; I just break them and later beg mercy from the lap band gods.

Today, I started my day with my weight loss special breakfast – Oatmeal Yogurt Crunch. Ok, that’s a long, corny name. The night before, I mixed 2 cups of plain, fat free yogurt with 1 cup of plain rolled oats. To that mixture, I fold a can each of pineapples and mandarin oranges. After the oatmeal softens, I mix in a half cup of slivered almonds. I add a scoop of vanilla flavored protein powder to each serving. I estimate that it has about 230 calories and more than 20 grams of protein. Quite filling and it gives me a good head start to getting 60-80 grams.

Rule No. 2 – Limit carbohydrates within a high-protein diet. I try to get my protein from solid protein instead of shakes, but I still use Juice Plus as a vitamin and protein supplement.

I got some exercise. I walked two miles to a convenience store to get milk for my little girl and myself. Not impressed? I left at 2:30 p.m. (in Louisiana!) pulling my nearly-40 pound toddler in her Little Tykes wagon built for two. Ya gotta see this thing. It’s got a door, two seats and cup holders. On the trip back with a bag of groceries, I drank half the water and splashed the rest on our faces. “Mommy, my face is crying,” she complained. I guess the ungrateful little tot would prefer spontaneous combustion.

Rule No. 3 – Exercise at least 30 minutes a day. I dragged my earthly remains home at 4 p.m.

I’m a heavy drinker (of water), so this routine didn’t change much for me. It’s very hard for me to drink less than 16 ounces at a time. It truly is hard for me not to drink with meals and I do think this is a big part of weight loss surgery success or failure. I’ve gotten it down to only sipping with meals and when I do abstain from water with meals, I never can wait an hour before having a large glass of water. Shame shame.

Rule No. 4 – Drink at least eight glasses of water a day with no drinking during meals and ‘something’ about an hour before meals and ‘something else’ about an hour and a half afterwards. I drank 80 ounces of water today and I will aim for 100 ounces. The rest of the water rules will not be achieved without a 12-step program.

My day ended with a horrible headache from the hot walk. Dinner was shrimp Alfredo over Dreamfields low-carb pasta and leftover spinach-stuffed portabello. This low carb pasta is out of sight and it has 7 grams of protein per serving with only 5 net carbs. I estimate the pasta, shrimp and mushroom dinner had more than 40 grams of protein. I think there was about three different types of cheese in those ingredients and cheese=protein!

I have the end-of-the-night-munchies. Watching my toddler and husband snack on about 5 different things hasn’t been easy, but only because I have to fetch snacks and clean up the messes that they leave. I’m thinking of ending my day with a large cup of sugar-free Nestle’s Quick with milk. 10 grams of protein, here we come!

Time to Hit the Restart Button

2005-10-11T22:38:00.000-07:00

It’s early October 2005 and it’s time to hit the old “restart button.” I’m really kinda calm at this moment and I don’t know if I don’t care about my weight gain or I’m just so numb from weeks of living in South Louisiana. I put the scale in a corner the week before Hurricane Katrina hit and took it out after my family left to return to my hometown that was “ripped a new one” by Hurricane Rita. I call this period of my life LaKarita!

During LaKarita, I gained around 10 pounds. I’ve taken no vitamins. I’ve mixed no shakes. My exercise included walking down a dark highway with my baby in a wagon to find a way out of my energy-starved subdivision the night after Katrina hit. I also pushed my car a lot. It started dying Katrina morn and has been in a shop through the end of the Rita evacuation.

I didn’t cook much during Hurricane Katrina, but for the two weeks of mandatory evacuation of my hometown, we were nine deep in my house. Yes, nine people, two cats and a dog for more than two weeks. Ya know, I think it was fun. We had to shop for groceries everyday and I think we have stock in Wal-Mart now.

Cooking for nine people can be fun, but the challenge to find what would make the “majority” happy got difficult. To add to the challenge, five of the nine were diabetics. Not five old people either. Our diabetics ranged 17, 35, 38, 67 and 69. My 17-year-old niece and I have been insulin dependent and the other three are and will always be daily insulin takers.

The weight loss efforts felt victim to the following:

Bread and starches – we stopped eating bread in my house, but daily bread and rice is the Louisiana way of life.
Sugar – I fought the soda every step of the way, but I treated the gang to bakery cakes and a big Baskin Robbins run just to keep morale up and tensions down. I also learned that teens and snacks go hand in hand.
Stress – Ok, I may act like Wonder Woman, but this stuff got difficult. I got new meds post-Katrina and I think it helped me stay calm with nine people in my house (2 cats and a dog). I don’t think I’m an emotional eater because some yummy comfort food just made me sicker. My stress hives make me look like I’ve taken a lashing with a bull whip.
Exercise – Hmm, what is this exercise? I guess marathons of the Weather Channel don’t count.

Some great things happened while I gained those 10 pounds:

Grilling – I have some new grilling secrets. Who needs electricity if you have a BBQ pit? Will grilled everything short of the (2 cats and a dog) and that practice will serve us well. After the lights came back on we kept grilling because it helped cool the house.
I cook therefore I am – There’s no place to easily take nine people out to dinner. We had to cook, plan meals and cook.
Peace of mind – I never wondered where my sick and elderly family members were. We were together. Being the youngest of the family, it felt good to know that I could step up and be everything to my parents. LaKarita taught us a lot.

So, I’m hitting the restart button. Eight or more glasses of water, limit sugar and carbohydrates, 60-80 grams of protein a day and EXERCISE WILL YA!

The lap band surgery is adjustable and I’m sure I need an adjustment called a fill. My first 13 months, I’ve had only one ½ cc fill. I’m afraid of getting too much restriction because I get nervous, eat fast and get “sick.” I’ll have to concentrate and take it slow.

It’s been a little over a year and I’ve lost a considerable amount of weight. I know it could be a lot more, but considering the year it’s been, I chose to give myself some grace instead of lamenting. I still weigh less than 300 pounds and I believe with time and hard work, I can weigh less than 200 pounds.

Mark your calendars, it all starts NOW!

I've Been Living in LaKarita

2005-10-05T22:16:00.000-07:00

After two months in Hurricane Hell, I'm looking for what 'normal' used to mean before Katrina and Rita ... I call this period LaKarita!

I'm in between eastern Louisiana (Katrina) and western Louisiana (Rita). Katrina was closer, but my hometown is one of the most severly hit by Rita -- Lake Charles. My parents and my brother's family have been with us since the day before Rita hit and my new normal life involves nine people, two cats and a dog. Cooking for "many" including five diabetics and teen-agers proved to be a challenge.

During Katrina, I saw the horrors of sick and elderly waiting in long lines for food and medicine. It hurts to watch and the best I could do was vow that my elderly parents would never make the news waiting for a MRE and bottled water. Three weeks later, I got to put my money where my mouth was.

I stuck to my bander's shopping and cooking routines, but each day more white bread, white sugar, pop tarts and "gosh" carbonated drinks made their way into my kitchen.

Other than treating the gang to Baskin Robins one night, food hasn't provided much of an alluring comfort to me.

I'm starting to wonder where I stand, scale-wise. I've been off of the anti-depressants that started at the same time I stopped losing well. I see the scale from time to time, but I've not stopped enough to care about it.

I'm only working with a 1/2 cc fill, so if I've gained 10 pounds, I shouldn't be surprised or disappointed. I lost my safety pin in my favorite blue jean shorts. Nothing keeps them up any more and I'm quite sure my Size 26-28 days are long gone. A loose 22-24 is more like it with lots of annoying, hanging skin in my arms and tummy.

When I'm down to one household in my house instead of three, I might get a new "loser's fever" or not. I'm sure I can at least invest in another 1/2 cc fill and step on the scale and see where that takes me.

My hurricane survival tips include "grill everything." We started grilling when the power was out and continued cause it was just darn fun. Chicken, pork, beef, veggies, pineapples -- everything.

I tossed thinly sliced pototoes with red and orange peppers, onions and herbs and olive oil. After separating them into single serving foil pouches, we grilled those puppies.

Last night's shrimp fettuccini was topped with a dish consisting of sauteed portabellos, crispy onions and baby spinach. This gave me an opportunity to try Dreamfields "extremely low net carb" line of pasta. I highly recommend this stuff!

No, we haven't exactly suffered much, but when one stands in the Red Cross line with armed soldiers for four hours in the Louisiana heat, using the money for lunch meat and potato chips is just not appealing.

SueElla's hometown took a beating and she may have a couple of weeks left sharing a camp with relatives. All her animals survived the waters and that was a big relief for her. I've not spoken to Gemma in a couple of weeks, but she was doing much better and gaining strength when we did speak.

That's me folks! I'll be back and I'm sure I'll see some SV and NSV in my future.

Onward!

Notes During Hurricane Rita

2005-09-22T08:51:00.000-07:00

I don't know what to say....kinda in a crazed daze.

Baby and I are planning to ride out another monster storm on the "outskirts of destruction." We left Calcasieu Parish yesterday which is close to Texas and Gulf of Mexico and came home which is farther east. Well, the storm as moved a little farther east in its projection.

Last I heard, my trucker husband was trying to leave South Texas/Louisiana border area and come home. No word in a while.My elderly parents are under mandatory evacuation as well as my brother and sister and their children. I'm trying to get everyone here in Baton Rouge because we are a little more inland and eastern. It might be a mess here too. I don't know.

I spoke to my angelette SueElla and she's heading north to Toledo Bend. They will go further north if they have to. They are more than welcomed here, it will just be tight. My other angelette Nikki is four miles farther north than I am and we are not under any special alerts in our parish.

I'm spoke to the son of Gemma, the Katrina Storm Survivor, and she's still in the Baton Rouge hospital and doing much better with IV meds and will be in the hospital through this next storm.

I will post updates until (or if) we lose power.My prayers are with my South Louisiana and Southeast Texas OH family.

Please be safe.

Onward (in His Grace)

Attempted OD on Little Debbie Cakes Post-Katrina

2005-09-17T10:52:00.000-07:00

Me, baby and the band are surviving in post-Katrina South Louisiana. I don't now what to say other than we're ok. I'm a little fried and stressed. I started taking some Xanax and that seems to help; except I took it, fell asleep and Cece slipped out of bed and coated the kitchen floor with Pam cooking spray. OK- Nothing's sticking to my kitchen floor now and I save the meds for late at night.

I tried to "eat my stress away" a few days ago and I still feel the yuckiness of 3 Little Debbie Cakes and whole milk from a convenience store. I'm not an emotional eater, apparently. Yuck!

Next week, I will start "some" type of exercise routine with fellow band babe Nikki D. in Zachary, La. We've both tried drinking and sweets and they are not smoothing my angst or even that enjoyable. There's got to be a better way.

I've found a cure for the scale addition -- Cat 4-5 Hurricane. The scale is up side down in a corner and I'm laughing at the days I used to hop on it first thing in the morning. I might be losing, might be gaining, just trying to stay away from "might be nuts!"

In my spare time, I've been working for Nola.com out of New Orleans and not out of homes across America. The first week, I was posting emergency rescue request to the Web site. Now, we are just giving folks a way to stay informed, speak out some frustrations and get the help they need to stay afloat. The URL is " nola.com " and doing the Nola View Blog near the bottom right of the homepage. (PT- good pay!)

In the rest of my spare time, I've been helping OH and local wls clinic get relief and supplies to displaced patients and those who had doctors in New Orleans and now need after care. I have volunteer surgeons in 4 or 5 cities, so if you know someone who needs my help, email me. (voluntary and well rewarded!)

I've been in contact with Gemma Rachel, the woman who had to airlift out of New Orleans days after RNY. She's had a tough time, but she's a trooper. I will be posting something on all the boards about how we can help her get on her feet. She's definitely on the losing side -- 42 pounds in a couple of weeks -- but her health is taking a beating and I can't imagine the horrors she has seen.

In the rest of the rest of my spare time, I've been on a job search. I'm one of two finalists for a communications job at a local university. I feel newspapers pulling me back into the "media addiction" since the storm and I don't know if I even want this job any more. I do need a full time job though. (possible so-so pay)

My un-spare time is caring for my nearly 3-year-old daughter. She's been with my parents for five days and I'm leaving to go spend the weekend with them and her. My baby didn't have to see the horrors that many infants and toddlers are living right now. I know what a wonderful blessing that is and I'm grateful to the Lord for His grace extended to Cece and I.

My husband has been gone though most of this and it's also tearing him up seeing pictures of Louisiana all over the country and knowing he can only read about it and not be here to help us cope.

I know something that could be fun...I could visit SueElla this weekend! Yes, I will do that. I'll see SueElla this weekend and come back and burn some street rubber with Nikki. I'm the angel, but I feel like I get all the rewards of knowing my little sisters.

Well, folks, that's Frances in a nutshell -- supersize my nutshell, please.

Onward!

Notes During Hurricane Katrina

2005-08-29T06:30:00.000-07:00

Posted 8:30 a.m.
Don't worry about me and baby, we are fine. Please pray for our neighbors to the immediate east of us. It's bad, but it could have been lots worst if things had not shifted a few miles eastward.

We have some intense wind and rain where I live which is 70 miles from New Orleans. NOTE: We are not in a parish that evacuated. I've never been in danger by staying here and it's much better for those of us in Baton Rouge not to congest the highways for those who HAD to leave. My area will see power outtages and flooding and the entire southeastern part of the state is still holding its breath until the storm's eye leaves the state in about four hours from now.

I'm going to get some "protein first," but I will try to post in a couple of hours if I still have power.

Noon on 8/31/2005
My little girl and I got our power restored late Tuesday. I got out into the more "city" parts of Baton Rouge today and heard my first newscasts since the first hours post-landfall. I've shed a lot of tears today and I know for every heart-breaking story broadcasts, 10 others exists. The level of human suffering within an hour of me becomes quite difficult at times.

At one point last night, I left my house with my baby in a wagon and one flashlight. My car stopped on me through all this and the thought of being in a slightly rural area with no lights, phone or car was overwhelming.

I've felt what seems to be panic attacks all day and my blood pressure is in the clouds. I plan to see my PCP tomorrow.

There's no witty or inspiring twists. Life down here just got 100 times more difficult and we all need your prayers. Thank you all for the kind words and prayers.

Written to "Dee" on 9/02/05
Dee,

I've never met you, but I feel we are more kin than we ever have been. We are bandsters battling the storm after the storm. Most of the people complaining can't begin to understand how our lives have been totally changed by the storm -- even or especially our lives as bariatric patient.

Examples:

The day of the storm, I was wandering around looking for "hot" food because I can't eat sandwiches and cold anything (except yogurt)
La. bandsters searching for aftercare now that four of the few centers in Louisiana are closed (washed away).
A preop in Metaire who lost everything and her/the kids are separated frpm her husband.
A postop lady who fled to Texas and is now dehydrated and losing protein levels because she doesn't have the products she tolerates. She's losing weight at an alarming rate.
Several preops who were finally approved and scheduled and now their doctors and centers are no longer operational.

Those of you with the "constitution" to read this far, bear with us. My posts aren't "OT" because they aren't.

Thursday, there will be a meeting of bariatric patients from anywhere in the state who need support, nutritional supplies and medical care. There will be at least one surgeon there who is offering aftercare and adjustments for displaced patients or those from other areas who were just treated in New Orleans and Covington. We have bariatric supplies and nutritional products being shipped in from vendors all over the country.

I realized the day I searched for something that would sit well with me that people were going to be in trouble. My angellette just had surgery in N.O. and she still had drains and staples. I felt people would suffer and possibly died if something wasn't done to meet OUR specific needs.

Operation Katrina is being spearheaded by ObesityHelp Inc. Just that in itself makes this effort very un-"OT."

If you can't feel you need to avoid the posts, I fully understand. But we in Louisiana, Alabama and Mississippi are part of the family and the family is hurting and suffering beyond compare.

Those of you who don't understand, I hope you never have to.

Onward!

Reality Check: What I Can and Can't Change

2005-08-06T13:30:00.000-07:00

It's been almost a year and I think it's time for some aggressive action and a little less feeling sorry for myself.

"I'm not losing weight quickly any more, I hurt all the time, I need to get back to work, boo-hoo, boo-hoo ..."

Sometimes, you just come to the realization that some people care, some people don't give a rat's hindy and, in the end, sometimes neither will make a difference in one's fate. It's August 2005 and I have to decide how much "I" care and if I can step up one more time.

Let's review the last 11 months:

I must say, for a person who never liked to pose for pictures, I've done a good job at getting on the other end of the camera. I still hate what I see, but I've learned to use it as motivation and assessment of progress.

My favorite is still pictures with my family, like the one on the right in our WalkAmerica T-shirts. For more information about our "walk" activities, click HERE.

I wish that I could have lost more weight, but I didn't expect 6 surgeries, a major staph infection and months of wound issues all in one year. Some people might think I'm lucky just to be alive. They are partially right, I just know that "luck" had nothing to do with it. I can look back and see how blessed I have been. \0/ (my code for "praise the Lord!")

I have some restriction (Ok, a small fill) in my lap band, but it's more than enough to get me moving again. While I was unfilled, I stalled like a rock in pudding and then I had a 3-pound loss right before SupaDoc put a 1/2 cc in my lap band and we are hoping that will help me lose without aggravating the swallowing and eating problems I have when my abdominal area swells due to fluid collection.

So, what can I not change? There's no end in sight to my GYN-related problems. I had an ultrasound yesterday that showed my largest ovarian mass seems to have shrunk from 8 to 5 cm. The test, however, showed that I have numerous, but small fibroid tumors. All of those growths -- cysts, tumors, scaring -- are things which are slow to get resolved. I've seen two GYNs and one GYN oncologist and none were interested in getting rid of any of this. Now that the biggest mass is shrinking, I'm sure we are back to the "wait" phase. I'm actually Ok with that and I'm going to try not to lament those problems too much, try to get pain management under control and give myself several "cut-free" months.

What can I change? I've honestly been lax in my eating habits for about a month. I skipped meals, got into a Burger-quicky-meal mode at times and I've not walked because I'm hurting a lot. I gotta get back on track and keep a close eye on carbs and "cook" my own protein. My eggplant adventures are continuing and they make fancy low-carb dishes fun. This week, I made a seafood au gratin with fried eggplant medallions. The seafood was crawfish, crab meat and shrimp in a cooked-down Alfredo base. I let my eggplant sit in thin pancake batter before rolling in Italian breadcrumbs. I served it with a small portion of my Festive Veggie Saute.

I must get active again. It's going to hurt -- that's just life. I'm walking in another Walkathon next month and I gotta get back to being able to handle the occasional horrible pain and at least walking everyday. (Join The Walk From Obesity - Louisiana)

I'm also hoping to get back into a full-time working routine. I think eating well will be harder if I go back to work as opposed to working mostly home, but a stricter routine and that added discipline may be just what the doctor ordered. I do know one thing for sure: I'm so broke, my Bologna has one first name! It's time for less surgery and more work.

Click here for profile

Those of you who are fans of my writing and my work, can find my published work in the current issues of ObesityHelp Magazine and Refreschen Louisiana Magazine. You can also find a collaboration between myself and SupaDoc (Dr. Karl LeBlanc), in the current issue of Bariatrics Today. It was a lot of fun serving as the editor of his expository on Ventral Hernias and the Bariatric Patient. I have nothing but respect and admiration for this truly extrordinary human being.

Mixing an article on hernias and weight-loss surgery was not my idea. Props to Nikki Johnson, managing editor of Bariatrics Today/ObesityHelp Magazine. Nikki is another person who's helped turn my last year into a journey (with new professional challenges) instead of a nightmare. (Meow! to you, Nikki)

I'm going to try to keep this blog uplifting and informative. Ya know life isn't always kind, but I will continue to simply play the hand I'm dealt. My favorite word will continue to be:

ONWARD!

Armed And Working on 'Dangerous'

2005-08-04T18:26:00.000-07:00

Thanks for all the wonderful suggestions and concerns yesterday. I know that I probably still shouldn't be so concerned with losing weight right now (with ovarian mass issues raging), but I thought getting a fill might help me concentrate on weight loss and not think about how I want to put a "hit" out on every GYN in the state of Louisiana.

In the period I was unfilled, I lost 3 pounds. yippee. But I had gained 10 total before, so I'm still 8 pounds away from my lowest weight. I'm about 70 pounds down instead of near 80 pounds. But I think I've seen progress in inches, but I'm not measuring, so I'm unsure.

My doctor was happy with the 3 pounds and wasn't pushing a fill, but I like to live dangerously, so I insisted and told him I would come back if I started to McPuke again and get an upper GI.

SupaDoc doctor had some trouble with the port and I could hear some popping as it flipped out of place. I think he got it on the third or fourth stick. I got my 1/2 cc fill back in my 4 cc band and I think that will be good restriction since I still had some restriction unfilled.

I've had one Juice Plus shake and I feel some pressure and discomfort, but nothing too bad. At least I know it's filled again.

I go for an ultrasound to measure my ovarian masses on tomorrow. Everyone (except GYNs) keeps telling me to push for what's right for me. (Thanks, Lilli, I hear ya shouting). This could be nothing or this could change my life and my family's life. If nothing else, I don't like being in constant pain. I like to go-go-go. With a healthy and more energetic body, I would be down right DANGEROUS!

So, don't worry that I'm going to take this lying down. I gotta life and I'm determined to live it!

Onward (where else?)

Frances

Group makes double-advocacy effort in walk event

2005-07-27T23:10:00.000-07:00

BATON ROUGE, La. – A group dedicated to the aid and recovery of weight-loss surgery patients joined a national fight against infant prematurity. Members of NooMee, a Baton Rouge support group, raised money during the March of Dimes WalkAmerica, but they also hoped to raise awareness of the plight of those battling obesity, team captain Frances Spencer said.

Kathryn Mixon, March of Dimes Capital Area division director, said the late April walk brought together teams and individual walkers from the Capital Area’s eight-parish region and started and finished on the grounds of Louisiana State University. Mixon said despite rain and a bleak weather forecast, more than 2,500 walkers participated in the event. Early estimates showed that up to 4,000 walkers would participate.

(Click HERE to read the entire story on separate page)

Note: I'm very proud of the efforts of my family and the other NooMee families who responded wonderfully to the plight of children in need. A special thanks to the doctors and staff of the Minimally Invasive Surgical Institute for their encouragement and excellent support of this cause. NooMee's efforts were also features in the special fitness issue of ObesityHelp Magazine.

Reflections On A Bad Day

2005-07-02T13:40:00.000-07:00

(Blogger Note: This was originally a post to the ObesityHelp.com message boards. I've edited out a few typos)

I've waited until this day was nearly over to post my reflections on a truly awful time to be me.

My baby's puppy died. Buster was very symbolic in my weight-loss journey because he showed up in October and we estimate he was born about the time I was banded. As I lost weight, Buster found it. At 6-7 months, he was 70 pounds and now he was nearly 80 pouds up as I was nearly 80 pounds down.

Being sick and alone with my toddler, I've not been able to take really good care of him lately. Ironically, he died while my husband was home. The doggie seemed to have gotten caught up in some brush and strangled on the line.

I sent my baby to daycare and then started making calls for help with his bloating and heavy body. I considered yanking my JP drain tube out to take care of him, but I can't lift the weight I've lost.

After the public works crew left with Buster, the last 10 months of pain, changes, surgeries (6) and struggles seem to hit home. I have all the best excuses in the world, but I've let my little girl and her big doggie down and at times it was too hard to bear. Life is strange, I've lost four of my own children in my six-year marriage, but I'm sure I cried more today than at any other time. It's not that I didn't mourn my precious children. It all came tumbling down as I called office after office because "I can't move my baby's puppy." What next?

Food was available during this horrible day. My husband had breakfast at McDonalds when I dropped him to work and Greek for a late lunch, but I wasn't tempted. I probably didn't eat enough today, but I have no appetite when in pain. Once I got some meds in me, I was able to enjoy a nice eggplant snack with my family late tonight.

I harbor no ill will toward the band, but this sickly, thinner Frances is not the woman I feel comfortable with. I like going, going and creating and conquering. I know that HE will be strong in my weakness, but being "needy" continues to be one of the greatest challenges of my life.

I'm sorry that this doesn't seem to be about food and the band, but it is about me. My food adventure this week, is, however, trying to find ways to substitute eggplant for starches like pasta, potatoes and rice. Any eggplant recipes will be appreciated.

As always, please continue to pray for Cece, Scott and I. Our life is like the eggplant dishes -- constantly changing.

Onward!

Frances

Buster "Jo-Busta" Spencer 2004-2005

My support system -- I've been blessed by the wonderful support of bariatric pre- and postops from the boards of obesityhelp.com. In this case, I would like to offer all the comments and suggestions I got in response to this post. CLICK HERE TO READ COMMENTS.

Sometimes God Says "Just Not Now"

2005-06-28T14:08:00.000-07:00

I've felt the prayers and positive thoughts of people all over this wonderful world for me and my family. I do feel that God had an answer and it was simply "wait."

My surgeon put in a JP tube in my stomach to drain the fluid build-up. He said he wasn't very optimistic that it would all drain out without a surgical drain tube. (Yeah, geez).

I left my surgeon's office with hopes that the GYN would have encouraging news if I told him about the increased pain, swelling and fluid. (Note, I have ovarian masses and one, quite sizeable).

He took one look at the drain tube and said "Whoa, that's not my area of expertise!" He didn't feel like the two issues were connected so he's sure that we should wait until the abdominal drainage resolves before doing the ovarian surgery. Instead of moving the time of "pain relief" sooner, he said this swelling and drainage might move the ovarian surgery (set for August) even further back.

If there's an life-or-death emergency, he will do surgery immediately. In all honesty, I can't say that I think this pain will kill me in the next 48 hours.

I can't do much, but wait until these surgical issues are resolved. I can't work (punch a clock) and I'm not much good as a house-wife when in pain every day.

Sooooo, I guess we need to change our prayers. I need to find a way to help support my family and remain slightly sick at home. This isn't a hard task since I'm a consultant and free-lance journalist. I have to find a way to work through the pain and continue aggressively completing home-based projects.

I will probably keep this drain tube for a month unless I have to surgical drainage before that time.

These are the cards I've been dealt and I plan to play them.

Thanks for all the prayers and, as always,

Onward!

Frances

Responding to "My Boyfriend Won't Sleep With Me"

2005-06-27T19:38:00.000-07:00

(Blogger Note: This is a response to a lady who wrote that she felt so uncomfortable with her size and that her weight was making her unattractive to her boyfriend. CLICK HERE FOR ORIGINAL MESSAGE from ObesityHelp.com)

Beauty and attraction is so relative that you might not solve every problem with a lap band. One man's obese girlfriend is another man's BBW princess. BBWs are "big beautiful women" and in certain circles they have no trouble filling their dance cards. My biggest fear in having the lap band surgery was that I would no longer be sexually attractive to my husband who always preferred women between 300-400 pounds.

I'm not saying everyone needs to be that large to be sexy, but I am finding that sexual attraction remains as size changes if there's somethings at the foundation other than an "ideal size."

If you feel like a fat pig at a size (guessing) 26, will you still be a pig at size 16 when you pass size 12s? Many size 12s feel like oinkers as they pass those cute little size 6s.

Unless you can guarentee you will become your ideal size, you need to address the issues that make you "feel ugly" and unwanted.

When my husband brought me a thong in a size 26, I wore it and I WORE IT WELL. Now, I've found a way to radiate the same beautiful as my size changes.

I'll never be disappointed because I'm not getting sexier -- I'm getting healthier. Sexy can't be bought off the rack and my beauty starts with my confidence in who I am.

Good luck in finding acceptance where you are. Sorry if this doesn't sound supportive, but you will find lots of folks who will agree that you couldn't possibly look good in a thong. After the thong comes off (if it does), we all look the same in the dark. I just happen to feel the same way when the light comes on.

You will need this aggressive confidence and spirit sometime before the scale says you are not a "fat pig" anymore.

My best to you in your journey.

Onward!

Frances

Banded, busted, broke down, BLESSED!

2005-06-27T16:12:00.000-07:00

A big howdy from Bayou Banded and Blessedland!

Sometimes you need to turn your eyes to heaven, go back to what you know and count your blessings.

Most of you know I've been sick lately and some of you know I've also been home alone with my T-babe Cece while her daddy is off driving trucks, Lord knows where.

Today, I found myself in horrible pain, both my cars and I are broke down and not a cent for a quick take out tonight for Cece and me.

Back to basics, banders!

My 2000s child is about to get an induction in how to get it down on nothing in Louisiana old style:

For her:
Hot cornbread
Juice or milk
New Orleans long-grain, fortied rice

For mommy:
Turkey wings smothered in everything in the kitchen -- Pan sauteed, fresh onions, parsley, chopped garlic and CAYENNE pepper.

I'll get a little bit of her carbs and she will get some of my turkey finely chopped and hidden and we will call it dinner on the cheap.

I checked, there's protein in everything!

It ain't fancy, but ain't starving (or fast food).

I'm counting my blessings and holding tight to my little one. I have two doctor's appointments tomorrow and I might need a drain to get rid of all this fluid in my tummy. You praying folk think about and pray for me and my little Cece tonight.

Back to Basics With The Band

2005-06-21T18:31:00.000-07:00

I've moved myself back to mushies since my unfilling last Friday. I have nothing in my band, but I was still PBing and foaming puke. (sorry). I decided to do mushies for a couple of days instead of taking my doctor up on the suggested upper GI. Ya ever just get tired of poking and sticking? I'm there.

Being unfilled has not been much of change for me. I've tossed chicken and solid carbs a couple of times and I'm not hungry between meals. Today I had sf hot chocolate, yogurt-oatmeal (w/some protein powder), Life Cereal and soupy grits and eggs for dinner. Way to party on that unfill, huh?

No ice cream or anything exciting to mention. I should probably get some more protein powder if I'm gonna go mushy for a while. Tomorrow, I'll try something more solid and if I PB and toss, I'll agree to the upper GI. I'm wearing a hernia binder which is helping to restrict that abdominal swelling so I'm not looking "very pregnant" today.

In all, I'm tired and it's time to put the world's most hyper toddler to sleep.

Swelling Makes It Hard To Eat

2005-06-20T12:30:00.000-07:00

My abdominal cavity was drained again this afternoon. I looked about 7 months pregnant right before and I'm happily back in the first trimester. I declined an upper GI to check why I was having trouble eating because I'm soooo tired of tests and needles.

I had some leftover chicken and a few teaspons of potato salad when I came home and it's a tight fit, but I thought it was going to stay down. I do think my swelling is taking over portion control while my band is unfilled. It was never a comfortable fit and I finally just kept throwing up little bits of it until it was all back up. (Excuse the gross descriptions)

My surgeon feels assured that this swelling is not related to the ovarian masses that I have, so that makes me feel much better.

It's not perfection, but that's all good enough for me.

Disarmed The Band

2005-06-17T12:13:00.000-07:00

None of my problems are caused my the lap band. The band, however, is just one of a ton of little things making life miserable for me. I've had crazy, mad restriction lately and I was starting to lament eating anything solid. I'm feeling a lot of pain after swallowing and pressure in my chest like heartburn.

Yesterday, I had 340 cc of fluid pulled out of my abdominal cavity where it is gathering since surgery a few weeks ago to repair a hernia. I have a bowling ball in my mid-section and it's making eating tough. I thought if I could take the band fluid out also, I might be more comfortable.

I'm also dealing with an unresolved ovarian mass which exceeds 8 cm. Anyone of these other problems are probably the culprit, but I don't even think I can take extremely good restriction right now.

My doctor removed my 1/2 cc fill (yes, that's all I had) and I had some x-rays that showed my band has not slipped. I need an upper GI next week and my bowling ball fluid pocket will be drained again.

I'm not gaining or lossing right now, but any less pain is sounding good.

I'm hoping that tomorrow will bring something to rejoice about or a "great" way to look at this ordeal. Until then, all prayers are appreciated.

Onward (you first)
Frances

My Journey is now officially 'A Struggle'

2005-06-08T07:13:00.000-07:00

When I think of journey, I think of a pleasant walk in the cool of day amongst fragrant flowers and churping birdies. When I think of struggle, I think of strolling through a cow pasture, landing in a hot, steamy one and tripping over my shoelaces now caked with nature's fertilizer.

I can still get there, but there will be no pictures (and few hugs) when I'm dun.

I don't want to quit, but I don't want to lose. I mean, yes, I would love to lose, but I'm not much on admitting failure. After losing nearly 80 pounds and gaining nearly 10, I feel that I'm stuck and maybe a concentration on something other than carbs and scales would be best.

I got a load of feedback from my previous post and I truly appreciate all the concern. I'm not going to end my weight loss efforts, but I do think I need to put a higher priority on finding out why I'm always sick and in pain. Many will say that if I lose the weight, the sickness and pain will go away. Many will also mysteriously disappear.

I have a new quest and a new theme -- No pain, no pain!

In my latest conspiracy theory, I'm attempting to put all my ailments under one umbrella, fight the root of all this evil instead of the symptoms and find a doctor who will champion this cause.

Since my lap band procedure, I've had wound issues, infection issues, pain issues, five surgeries and the continued weight issue. I've gone from nearly 350 pounds to 268 pounds and up again. A problem that hasn't been addressed during this time is my increasingly painful ovarian masses that have been, from time to time, on the grow.

I will attempt to prove, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, if you eliminate the painful masses (and the blasted ovaries that spawned them), that you will reduce the pressure on the hernia-rich abdominal cavity, eliminate the hormones making weight loss so difficult and headaches so abundant, end the need for bimonthly surgeries which make exercise nearly impossible and maybe, just maybe, end the pain. And we know no pain, no pain!

Back to reality. Yes, I'm making myself laugh because it sure beats the alternative.

When all else failed me, I turned to RealityDoc (Dr. Eric Melancon) for help. RealityDoc has become more like a Big Brother full of wit and compassion for those suffering. He came to the rescue and through referral is introducing me to NewDoc who I meet this afternoon.

I'm gathering all my scans, reports, films and symptons and I truly have hope that I might get some needed answers.

My goal hasn't changed. Cecilia Grace is my one chance at motherhood and agressively pursuing wellness is my only chance to give her what she needs. She's still sleeping now and it's after 9 a.m. I'm hurting and I haven't decided if I'm going to give her up to daycare where someone can easily pick her up and feed her. I think I'll struggle through breakfast and then give her over to the able-bodied caregivers. I know it's what's best for her today, but she's all I have.

No, that's wrong. I also have a mission!

The Morning After – Whose Journey is This Anyway?

2005-06-05T22:10:00.000-07:00

I led a sheltered life. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but I’ve never had the opportunity to wake after “tying one on” royally and wonder whose head was laying on the pillow next to mine. Until now.

Sorry for the drought in this blog. When I'm going through something, I never quite know what to say, but I always catch you all up eventually.

You ever wake up and go what the ___? I’m still at “heck,” but the blank is getting hotter every second.

For nine months now, I’ve been on a journey to wellness. I was never fond of the idea of weight loss surgery and I wasn’t excited about lap band surgery because of my need for a size 9 jeans. I was told that my weight was standing in the way between my baby and her healthy mommy. I had scary, painful ovarian masses and I embarked on this journey as my “get out of pain free” card when the day finally came that I needed to be smaller to address those issues.

I’ll give my weight loss journey one thing, it went well and I don’t regret having an adjustable gastric banding or lap band surgery. I had lost almost 80 pounds in eight months before I started yo-yoing back and forward between the same 10 pounds. My new lap band life is full of great food and cool new experiments in the kitchen. I don’t feel deprived, but I have put a lot of me into making there be less of me.

At nearly 350 pounds, I was told that I wasn’t a good candidate for major surgery to remove my much-tattered plumbing. A psycharitrist told me it didn’t make much sense to him that I was having one surgery because I couldn’t have another surgery. I agreed with him, but I told him there were no other emotional pullings for me. I didn’t feel ugly or dumb or unwanted. My husband loved all 300 plus pounds of me and I was possibly the most egotistical “fat chick” in America. I added that God gave me one surviving baby, Cecilia Grace, and this surgery was what I needed to make sure I could be there for her until she could take care of herself.

Cecilia has always been my motivation. Those masses could be harmless pains in the butt, or maybe not. I decided if 150 pounds had to go so I would never be the fat woman allowed to suffer an early death, so be it.

So I had a very major surgery ... and then another ... and then another/another (same week) ... and then another ... and then another. Every “another” isn’t related lap band surgery. Please, please note that. My surgeries aren’t complications to weight loss surgery. But I had one surgery to avoid risky surgery and had FIVE more after that.

Ya think I’m bitter? Read on.....I’m pleasant so far.

Last week while recovery from my fifth surgery since my lap band, I began having an overwhelming pain on the other side of my body than the recent issue. I inquired about those pesky masses and found that one had grown to more than 8 cm. Sounded kinda big and painful since it was 5 cm only two months and one surgery ago.

I reached down for my virtual “get out of pain free” card and laid it on the counter. Now, I’m curled up in a ball at this point, but the ball is 80 pounds less of a ball than before. Surely, there will be no question of what needs to be done since I have surgeries more than I perm my hair.

I got bumped around to a few offices as most of my doctors gave the “we don’t do that” reply. Finally, I was back to the folks who “do that” if that is surgically remove masses that may or may not involve cancer of the reproductive organs.

The answer came in a couple of hours.... drum roll pleeze... “Dr. __ doesn’t feel like it’s that much bigger than it was this time last year. He’ll see you in two months.”

To my pain, they added, “you 'did' just have surgery, didn’t you.” To my weight loss, they added, “Your weight would have never meant a difference to us. We’ve done this surgery on larger people.”

So, here I sit in the middle of the night, listening to Cecilia Grace’s sleep sounds whistle through her pacifier. I’m wondering how I ever let someone sell me the “it may all resolve itself after you lose weight” sack of crap. This is HER journey, not mine. I hope she and her lap band have a long and happy life. Fact is, some things in life can’t be weighed and measured by a scale and a BMI.

And now that I my journey to wellness and freedom from pain doesn’t involve this lap band what do I do with this strange bedfellow? My motivation begins and ends with my child and doing what’s best for her. I think what’s best for her is an all-out assault on my real health issues.

If you have your ears on, tell me, where does this journey fit into my life and do I have the luxury to continue this fight?

Eight Months Today

2005-04-23T21:29:00.000-07:00

It's time to reflect on eight months in my "journey to wellness." I'm not sure if I'm closer to wellness, but I'm positive it's been a journey. Eight months ago I had bariatric surgery and received a AGB, adjustable gastric band, or more commonly called lap band.

I do see a transformation in my eating and cooking habits. It's true that you do start to crave the things your body needs. Two of my new high-nutrient buddies are avocados and sweet potatoes. My favorite lunch is a chicken avocado wrap on spinach-herb wrap. I'm getting hungry just thinking about it. This is one of my favorites because it packs a triple protein punch -- cheese, avocados and chicken -- and I add tomato and onion slices to fulfill the veggie requirements (and it's darn good!).

Beans and other legumes have become my favorite source of plant protein. I've always been a big meat eater, but I'm proud to say I'm exploring all of my plant protein sources and really enjoying cooking these high-fiber/protein items: Red beans, snaps, black-eye peas and peanuts.

All my dried beans are slow cooked with a load of finely chopped vegetables to make hearty, thick stocks and I'm still using the saute method to cook snaps with colorful bell peppers and carrots that remain crispy and nutrient-packed. I also offer my toddler and visitors little one-serving bags of unsalted peanuts mixed with raisins. Let's just say I jumped on the fiber bandwagon and I'll leave the results undocumented.

I wish I could say I'm free of health problems, but many are improving. My A1C, the average of three-months of blood sugars for diabetics has gone from 8.5 to 6.6. My blood pressure has improved on a day-to-day basis, but still gets high when I'm in pain or "nutting up." Yes, I still get stressed and "nut up" about finances, taking care of my family and that pesky hernia repair problem.

Speaking of, I guess the hardest part of life since the lap band is totally unrelated to it. I've had quite a struggle with a hernia repair site that developed a staph infection. I've gone to surgery four times to address this problem and I'm currently dealing with the incision site that has developed another abscess and is starting to open again. Monday, SupaDoc returns from vacation and this hernia incision will be waiting for him to evaluate (poor dude).

The scale isn't discouraging at all. I've lost between 75 and 80 pounds in these eight months. If I'm not at 80 yet, I'm sure I'll be there in the next two weeks. I'll try to get a weigh-in tomorrow. My BMI has gone from 59 to 45. What's encouraging about that is that most experts say that a BMI under 40 isn't eligible for weight loss surgery. I don't think I'll be skinny, mind you, but having a BMI under 40 will be great.

Next weekend, I'm the team captain for my weight loss surgery support group's team in a 5-mile walkathon. Stay tuned for lots of pictures and news about my progress and our efforts to help the March of Dimes.

I'm Armed With A Snicker's Bar And I'm Not Afraid To Use It

2005-04-23T15:32:00.000-07:00

This week started with two Snicker's Bars and ended with a change in medications and a sense of hope.

Monday, I saw RealityDoc with hope of having my latest abscess drained. I described this thing to him Sunday night as "a hard cantelope" around the top of my surgery incision and he said he would drain it in his office.

A few seconds after he looked at it, he sigh and explained it was located deep beneath the surface and he couldn't drain it in the office. I think my eyes rolled in the back of my head as I anticipated his next statement to the word: "Dr. Leblanc might have to open it up again."

I tried to focus and not seem like a whiny baby, but I've had four abdominal surgeries related to this problem since my lap band surgery. RealityDoc, however, wasn't ready to give up on me avoiding the knife and he said a change in antibiotics might help reduce the fluid accummulating in my troubled tummy.

I left RealityDoc totally depressed. Pain, family, money, pain, stress and did I mention PAIN were all weighing heavily on my mind. I stopped to the grocery store and made the only fat chick's "cry for help" available to me -- I bought a Snicker's Bar. Well, actually, I bought two because I thought 65 cents was a great bargain for the "King-Size" bar.

The violin music begins to play ... I am now officially considering SNICKERCIDE. I couldn't just eat them because I had to work myself up to the right moment. Now, I'm incredibly weird because I first had to have a real meal. I dunno, I just can't have sweets on an empty stomach. Even in the throws of Snickercide, I feared the "sugar sickness" feeling that diabetics can get. First, I had a well-balanced meal of red beans and smoked sausage pieces. Second, I called SupaDoc's office (I knew SupaDoc was on vacation -- how could he leave me?).

After packing away the protein and fiber in my lunch, I was unable to even think about eating a candy bar, so I got back into my PJs with every intention to continue Snickercide after a good nap. Then, SupaDoc's office angel called saying their other partnering surgeon would take a look at the incision. "But I'm in my PJs with a Snicker's Bar," I explained. She said I should bring it, just don't eat it!

I grabbed both Snicker's Bars -- one bar for the office angel and one for me as soon as I found the room eat it -- and headed back into the city.

SupaDoc's partner, Dr. Haussman (no cute nickname - yet), agreed that the incision should be given a week or so of antibiotics and then it could be looked at next week. I was so grateful for a another chance to skip surgery, I left the other Snicker's Bar and the staff served it in little pieces over the copy machine.

RealityDoc's change in medications has sparked a noted change in the swelling and incisional abscess. Maybe, just maybe, I've already had my last surgery.

Wounds heal and lesson are learned. Apparently, I'm no emotional eater. The solutions to my problems can't be found in the ingredients of a Snicker's Bar. I guess I knew that all along, but it did feel good to know I could prove it to myself.

Suck It Up For The Cake

2005-04-17T21:39:00.000-07:00

Kids, and spouses, say the darnest things. I’ve decided to dedicate a blog entry to the sayings floating around my house and how they relate to my weight loss journey.

For those keeping records, I’m seven and a half months into my weight-loss journey. In August of 2004, I had AGB – adjustable gastric banding – or lap band surgery. I’m about 75 pounds down since that time and I would be living it up if not for an unrelated, pesky hernia problem. I’ve had four surgical procedures since my lap band surgery. I’m still on schedule with my weight loss because the lap band is the “slower” of the bariatric procedures and I’ve averaged 10 plus pounds a month even after a slight gain/stall last month. Sanity? Now that’s a different story, but I think I’ve lost a little of it too.

Suck It Up For The Cake

A short time ago, Scott (hubby) and I were watching “The Last Samurai” on a particularly tough afternoon. I had returned from a difficult doctor’s visit and I wasn’t feeling very well. My only attempt at food for the day, Church’s Chicken, was about to be thrown in the garbage can and Scott was appeasing my unhappy tummy with a sugar-free pina-colada snow cone. At least the toughest part of the day was over and it was time to kick back for a little while. Or so I thought.

Home-movie viewing made Scott lonesome for more treats and comfort food. He pondered his options for a while and then announced “We have cake!”

I don’t think I turned my body. I just tilted my weary head to one side and reminded him of my present state of pain and anguish. “I’m not feeling well right now, remember?”

Scott: “Yes, I know, but I thought you would suck it up for the cake.”

No, I didn’t suck it up for the cake because that meant “baking and frosting” a cake, but I was quite amused by the concept. If a task is really important to you, no discomfort or pain will keep you from completing it. I didn’t bake Scott’s cake (that day), but I did realize that if I were to get back on track and progress in this journey, there would be a lot of time I would have to suck it up for the proverbial cake. No matter what difficult task stands before me, I can simply fill in the blank: Suck it up for _____ !

I’m sure someone once said it as mind over matter, but I wasn’t married to that person.

I’m gonna cook that chicken

One of my first concerns before having weight loss surgery was the effect on my soon-to-be 2-year-old daughter. I didn’t want my 2-year-old to be on a starvation diet, but I knew our oft-struggling household needed to basically follow the same meal plan. I didn’t want Cecilia to suffer an unbalanced diet.

My high-protein, low-carb diet has room for adjustments for a toddler. She has more carbs than me – noodles and cereal – and I eat more lean protein – when times are lean, chicken’s keen. We both like cheese and nuts and she gets my share of fruit juices.

After my last surgery, Cecilia was giving her Lala Amy (writer/reporter Amy W.) a tour of the stuff in our front yard. As Amy neared a flower arrangement with an artificial bird’s nest, Cecilia gave full explanation.

Cecilia: “Look! It’s a baby chick. ... I’m gonna cook that chicken!”

It wasn’t one of those precious lovey-dovey quips, but I knew my little girl was becoming a practical carnivore – chicks are cute, but they grow up to be lean protein.

There are no cows in war

Cecilia wasn’t initially interested in “The Last Samurai.” She found the fight scenes to be terribly loud and she seemed afraid (or just perturbed) of them. After I forced a happy median in the volume, she seemed much more interested in what turned out to be a very scenic and beautiful tale.

When she saw something she recognized, she quickly rattled off the name – children, birds, the sun and in the heat of a fight scene, horses!

In the middle of the next fight scene, she became puzzled and turned to me and asked “No cows?”

No, Cecilia, we said, there are no cows in war. Cows are useful and they are good to have around in most situations, but they are not equipped for war. In her little mind, when she sees horses, she should see cows, but she will slowly come to realize that some circumstances are much too rough for the easy-going bovines.

As I approach an eighth month in this journey, I realize that the challenges aren’t getting any easier. Carbs still need counting and proteins need to be increased. I need more water and more exercise if I expect to lose more weight.

My hernia repair will continue to be my thorn in the flesh after four surgical procedures to deal with the repair and staph infection. Tomorrow, RealityDoc will drain the wound which has developed another bulging abscess. Things might get a little difficult, but, then again, there are no cows in war.

Thank you, baby.

It's not all pain and calorie-counting,
we planted our first flower bed together!

So, Where Have I Been? Surgery Again

2005-04-10T05:34:00.000-07:00

If you are a regular reader of my blog, please accept my humble apologies for the big drought of information lately. I'm doing better and vowing to write more.

First, I've had surgery again on the day after Easter. For anyone counting, that's four surgeries NOT COUNTING weight loss surgery 7.5 months ago. I have intentionally not written much about the saga because it's not related to weight loss surgery, but it has set the tone for my struggle and affected my efforts to lose weight. A couple of weeks ago, my hernia repair was repaired. The wound vac device was replaced with a temporary J.P. tube to drain any remaining fluid and help me finally beat the remnants of the infection I've battled for several months. I hope to lose the remaining staples from surgery and the drain tube tomorrow. The picture at the right is me on Easter Sunday with my flyaway hair and wound vac tubing.

It is official, hernia repair surgery has proven to be much more difficult for me than the weight-loss surgery where I had a AGB (adjustable gastric banding or lap band).

Please note: Unrelated to lap band surgery!

I've told countless folks, but I'll state it again for the record, my last four trips to the operating room have not been a result of weight-loss surgery. My hernia is incisional (term means resulting from a surgical incision), but the incision site was not my lap band (because it was laproscopic). Instead, the hernia came from the C-section incision made during the birth of my little girl Cecilia (Pink Power Girl, for those of you who really follow this blog).

Cecilia's birth concluded my fifth high-risk pregnancy and she was our first survivor. Before her, our longest time of survival was four hours before my first daughter and second child Rachel Cecelia died. The five pregnancies and a slew of abdominal procedures before, during and after pregnancy has contributed greatly to my weight gain and my weakened abdominal wall. That story, however, is another blog's worth of content altogether and I won't elaborate except to say my pregnancy rule of thumb was "By any means necessary," and I have no regrets.

(Actually, I will elaborate when our struggle to have a family and my pregnancy story will appear in the June issue of Obesity Help Magazine. I will let you know how you can get a copy when its published.)

Click here for profile
Dr. Karl Leblanc

My surgeon, SupaDoc, believes that he has finally hammered that pesky hernia into submission and I'm still putting my bets on him to be right. I think if there's some medical "super glue" out there, it's holding my latest hernia patch in place.

What has helped the open wound close so well (maybe too quickly) was my weight loss so far and that should also help keep pressure off the latest patch work in my abdominal wall. After some stalling and some heart-breaking gains, I'm back to a total weight loss of 70 pounds in a little more than seven months.

The hernia, staph infection and surgery setbacks have made me incredibly discouraged at times. I haven't been able to exercise and regular daily activities (like chasing a 2-year-old, cooking and cleaning) have been terribly painful. I wanted to settle down to a healthy dose of depression, but I was afraid life would steamroll right over me if I slowed down too long.

I'm hoping if I'm free of staples and attachments tomorrow, it will spark a new chapter in my weight loss saga and my life.

ONWARD!

Gaining Weight, Friends, Support

2005-03-19T07:46:00.000-08:00

Just weeks ago, I feared going into a weight-loss frenzy and "wasting away" while sick. Ok, next time I say something that stupid, will someone please slap me up side my head.

It's official: I'm gaining weight.

Yes, I went to get my wound vac dressings changed and my doctor's nurse weighed me before I left. After Tuesday's news of an added 2 pounds, I was sure my new aggression would at least put me back at the 70-pounds loss spot. One work-out isn't going to do it, I guess. The scale showed a 1 pound gain.

I don't know if I should panic or just roll with the punches. I've retained some water, I've been sick and my activity level has been really limited (or that's my story and I'm sticking to it). I decided to start looking at what's going in my mouth and I actually did a day of calorie and carb counting (gasp!). That's a desperate step for me because I'm not obsessive "count every bite" type of loser.

The post below this one details a "day in the mouth" of Frances. I think I did OK when I was looking at it and maybe that's the key now that I'm near 70 pounds lost. I'm most surprised that my diet isn't as limiting in carbohydrates as I thought. In recent weeks, I've had a lot more and when cooking for guests, I even had three types of starches in one meal. But I do feel that just looking at it closely will help. If I've really hit a plateau, it will be time to get a fill for my lap band.

The pictures in this post represent my progress at six months and most of those of me were taken by my lap band little sister SueElla. "Lala Ella," as Cece calls her, and I met through ObesityHelp.com Web site. I heard of her struggle on the message board and volunteered to be her "Angel." Angels are post-op patients who help and support pre-op members through the bariatric surgery process. SueElla and I grew up in the same parish so I knew we would have lots in common.

I'm very fortunate to have come in contact with lots of new friends through OH.com, but as far as being an angel, I've been more of the supportee from SueElla. Not long after we became friends, I became sick with the "staph thing" and she jumped right in keeping the other members updated on my progress while I was hospitalized and visiting me and my family. She and her husband have stayed with my family a couple of times and we all share a love for down-home chicken dishes and sweet potatoes.

SueElla and I put our husbands and my little power toddler to bed a few nights ago and stayed up until the wee hours of the morning doing "girl stuff." After doing our hair and makeup, we poised for each other and took tons of pictures. She's very photogenic, but I seem to show my awkwardness most in the camera's lens. My attempts to hold the camera in front of the bathroom mirror were particularly "flicted." I just couldn't get it.

I've gained a new family and support system that covers the entire country. This isn't an easy process and while I get plenty of support from family and friends, it's incredibly helpful to be in daily contact with other bariatric surgery patients and people struggling with weight problems. We share challenges and victories while creating a world where we are not "weak and lazy." We lived with all the stereotypes about obese people and in our community, we are just "people."

Every day on ObesityHelp.com, I see people reaching their goals and lending a hand back to those still climbing the ladder of success. Having knowledgeable doctors, surgeons and nutritionists helps in this journey, but the words of someone who once weigh 300, 400, 500+ pounds carries more weight (excuse the pun).

I highly recommend this site for anyone struggling with a weight problem or researching treatment options for obese people.

Thanks for the giggles, little sister!

A Day in The Mouth

2005-03-19T06:13:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to look at ways to tighten up my intake. Well, it does seem to be balanced, but I didn't have any "indulgences" today. Many days lately, I have. Any suggestions are appreciated -- please see the comments icon at the end of this post.

Friday, March 18, 2005
Food intake.................Calories .........Fat ........Carbs.....Protein

1/2 cup of Juice...............60.............0 .5.......12...............2

Breakfast -- Juice Plus shake
JP..............................110................1.........15............13
Milk............................120.................3........12.............8

Lunch -- Veggie Wrap
Wrap ........................200............... 5 ........ 34 ............6
Tomato(½) ................17.................0.............6.......
Avocado.....................300 ...............30* ......30............ 4
Cheese ...................210 ................10......................... 12

1/2 cup of Juice........60.............0 .5.......12...............2

Subtotals
...........................1077............... 20*...... 121..............47

Dinner -- Pasta w/meat sauce
MacNCheese..............280............... 3.......... 35............. 10
Meat Sauce ...............200.............. 12 ............??........... 24
Garden Salad............. 50 .................0..............6...........1
Dressing ....................160................ 17............ ........ 1

subtotals ...................690.............. 32........... 43......... 36

Totals ......................1707............ 52* ............164 .......83

*Plus good fats in avacado
Some figures are estimates

Yippee, I Gained Two Pounds

2005-03-15T09:40:00.000-08:00

Before you make reservations for my padded room, let me explain myself. First, it could have been much more and secondly, it marks the fact that my life might be getting back to normal – all's right with the world.

My weight loss surgeon and hernia repair specialist are one in the same, SupaDoc Karl Leblanc. After looking at my open wound site – which is healing at a remarkable rate – he seemed curious to see how the old weight loss was going. I tried to explain that I had just finished my cycle (water retention, eek) and that I was practically a stock holder in Blue Bell Ice Cream, Dr. Leblanc quipped his disapproval, but deep down, I do feel bad about letting him down a little.

True to my predictions, I have edged up two pounds in the last two weeks. So why am I excited about this regressive? Simple – it makes sense. I’ve battled through PMS and the water retention of a monthly cycle after going into surgery twice since the last “visitor.” I threatened to combat my rapid weight loss with ice cream sundae’s, but the first couple of weeks out of the hospital, I still couldn’t stomach them. Well, things got better and I did partake of some Moo-lineum Crunch. I also think I made fried chicken three times (I’m unsure of the exact times because I’m still reviewing the tapes).

Water retention, some hormonal eating = small weight gain. That’s one of the first logical observations in months. I was in extreme pain – it didn’t make sense. I ran a high fever for over a month – it was a mystery. I became critically anemic to the point of transfusions – the reasons were big question marks. I was sick and losing weight at a more than decent pace and I began to fear that I would be one of people who can’t control the weight loss and wastes away. I feared losing control over my own life.

Reality check: THIS WAS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO HAPPENING, but remember “this is Frances’ brain on drugs.”

When I saw those added pounds, there was no mystery. Finally, things make sense and I know I’m in control of both my success and failure. I was pretty excited when I left the doctor’s office and made a short-term goal of nixing those two pounds and a long-term goal of getting back on the losing track. I headed to a gym with my bestest bud, Kay.

If you talk to my doctors, let’s note that I went to “tour” the fitness center – I’m still attached to the wound vac device. I noted that the 4 foot tubing fit very well along side the cardio-fitness station. I didn’t do a lot of bouncing around, but I got a good cardio/fat burning workout and it felt GREAT!

I’ve not been in a regular workout routine since the start of my five pregnancies. I’m in my “baggy” blue jean shorts and huge T-shirt right smack in front of a mirror. Oooooh, I look good. “Go Frances, Go Frances, Go Frances, it’s ya birthday!”

No, I haven’t arrived, but I’m on route and that’s enough for me. All that blood circulation gave me that “workout” high and I was much more focused on my day’s meals. I started with a whey protein drink (whey, yes, whey), had eggs for lunch and ended if all off with a grilled chicken salad. I got a little hungry writing this in the middle of the night and had some sugar-free Nestle's chocolate mixed with milk. The Moo-lineum Crunch is still taking in the freezer, but I don’t speak that language. There are two types of cookies on top of the fridge and I’ll use them as treats for my energy-crazed toddler when she’s been good. (Oh, her teeth are sooo safe.)

So losing a couple of pounds isn’t so bad if you use it to motivate yourself, start afresh and set a path. I know time is precious, but those “slow” two weeks may be the only emotional adjustment I can make through this ordeal. Times are tight, so I guess that makes you all my collective shrink. Thanks for listening – I feel so much better.

I Feel Like a Phony Sometimes

2005-03-13T18:38:00.000-08:00

I can not tell a lie -- I tried it once and it came out the truth. That's a bunch of BS, of course, but I'm so overwhelmed by "life" and growing in grace lately that I feel like a phony when dealing with all the kind words and compliments on my weight loss.

It's not that I haven't "lost" weight and overcome some adversity -- I just don't feel comfortable taking credit for being some type of "Joan of Fat" standing alone against a mountain of challenges. I'm far from alone and sometimes, I feel like I'm being carried through the worst of it.

I think when I get behind my typing fingers, everything comes out funny and witty. Truth is, I cry, I complain and I fall down. I would like to dedicate this column to the ugly truth and the people who make it come out beautiful in the wash. They deserve your admiration.

Seventy pounds or so: At a little past six months, I had lost 70 pounds. A week later, I'm sure I've gained 3 or 4 pounds. It was a week of PMS, NowMS and I think I cooked fried chicken three times. I'm notorious for water-weight gain, so I'll have to wait to see how things shape up when the bloating clears.

Emotional giant or mental midget: At times, I've been the biggest baby. I felt sorry for myself and tried to ask my husband for a divorce so I wouldn't "bring him down" financially. Well, he knew the drugs were talking and kinda just ignored me with a giggle. I felt horrible for the amount of time Reality Doc (E. Melancon) and SupaDoc (K. Leblanc) were spending on me and I tried to "fire" myself from both of them. Ya ever feel like a big fat burden? "This is my last visit!" They calmly ignored me and continued to do what was best for me. And finally, for the nurse at Vista Surgical Hospital who heard me say I would "rather not go on"... I doubt if I could really hang myself with all that plastic tubing and IV lines. I WAS JUST BEING A BIG BABY (the tubing package says it has a maximum capacity of 125 pounds, anyway).

Losing the weight: If you've have ever tried losing your extra 20 pounds, you might be impressed by tossing 70 in less than half a year. Truth: When you weigh 350 pounds, the initial loss does come quickly. My last 20 pounds will be like pulling teeth.

Unlike the diets of old, I'm losing weight and eating my own cooking or the cooking of our favorite restaurants (before the bills starting mounting). I've found that a lot of protein supplements can be replaced by "chewable" protein if you have the time to rope it, kill it and cook it. I think I was very blessed by meeting Executive Chef Ed Rhinehart several months ago. He's taught me so much and my entire family has benefited from raw vegan dishes and healthy ways to prepare lean protein. So, I cook, I eat -- I really don't suffer. It does take more time to prepare healthy meals and eat at home, but it's been a learning experience and sometimes a wonderful adventure. NUTS AND LIVE FOODS RULE -- Thanks Ed!

Cheating: That word is not in my vocabulary. Indulgence? Yes, I know this word. I have "planned indulgences." When faced with chemical additives in sugar-free ice cream, I have chosen just old fashioned Blue Bell for my family. I can't afford to double shop for food and I will not feed my toddler something that will give her gas and runny stools. Nope. Instead, I'm trying to practice moderation in my indulgences. Sweets can remain in the house for days without being consumed or I just can skip some of the treats. Moderation doesn't work for everyone and I'm not suggesting that you go out and buy ice cream and cookies if you can't dole them out slowly and responsibly. I feel that WHEN I reach maintenance, there will be no shocks to my system because I feel I can continue balanced, moderated eating habits for the rest of my life. I've only exiled the following foods from my kitchen and plate: sliced bread (wraps rule, though), biscuits (have you ever push the nurse-call button behind a biscuit?), over-cooked chicken, beef (anything), canned vegetables (when I run out of all those given to me at Christmas time) and carbonated drinks.

There was a time when I feared I might start losing weight so quickly I wouldn't be in control of it. Being sick and getting all these comments about "looking great" became a little overwhelming. I may have attempted to sabotage my weight loss just to get some control over my own life. I'm getting better (emotionally also) and I think I can lose more than 100 pounds in my first full year with this lap band.

Growing in grace: The Bible defines grace as unmerited favor -- not earned. I feel like I've received more than my serving of this dish. My weight-loss support system is huge. It started with my family and doctors' practices. When I've been a whinny baby, only my husband, the Vista Hospital staff, the MISI staff and the Associates in Internal Medicine staff have witnessed it and they have all been incredible.

The support system of ObesityHelp.com and its members has always been a constant in this journey. I received pages of email while in the hospital and I've met and spoken to several OH.com members who are no longer Internet friends -- they are just good friends.

My pals in journalism became my extended family and did everything from preparing meals, keeping me encouraged and combing my baby's hair. You may think it's a God-less profession, but ... oh yeah, that's right ... it is. (smile)

My favorite flavor of ice cream is still Moo-lineum Crunch. It just lasts a lot longer in the freezer. Ok, I feel less like a weight-loss phony now.

What's next in my journey? I want to play tennis, I want to workout -- I want to do all the things I can't do right now attached to a wound vac. There's a lesson in human nature there. I hope those desires hold when the machine goes.

My open wound is healing at a remarkable speed and I hope to be free of the wound VAC machine within a month. Check back to see if I'm playing tennis then.

Six Months, 70 pounds and lots of prayer

2005-03-05T18:59:00.000-08:00

I feel that I'm finally ready to start regular posting once again. I have a ton of things to get "out of my system" and I feel if I wrote everyday I couldn't adequately explain to my village how much I appreciate their support.

Former first lady Hilary Clinton once said it takes a village to raise a child. I need to steal from that concept because I feel it has truly taken a village to keep alive, sane and, finally, smiling and fighting again. People who months ago were perfect strangers, have been touched by our Lord to keep me going even when I felt defeated and ready to give up.

My current struggle is not related to my weight loss surgery, but I have come to realize that it is a part of my journey. I've been faced with a unique struggle and I'm sure it, like life-altering struggles of the past, will shape who I am for the rest of my life.

So, here's the wellness rundown:

Mega-infection at hernia repair site -- I had the strongest IV germ-killers in the hospital and I'm still on a two-month course of antibiotics. I think this puppy is going down for the count.

Open wound -- Still open, but closing remarkably well, I hear. A wound that seemed the size of cereal bowl is now about the size of my cell phone. I was scheduled for surgery on March 9, but prayers, my whining and pleading and a powerful healing "spurt" combined to beat SupaDoc down and he finally agreed that this wound would close soon and not need surgery "at this time."

Wound maintenance -- I'm attached to this wonderful, but annoying machine 24/7. It's called a wound VAC. The older method of changing dressings daily and letting the patient keep an open wound under gauze and bandages really scares me and I'm terribly grateful that I haven't had to endure this process. The VAC provides constant negative pressure on the wound and promotes healing while fighting infection. I have to keep up with about 4 feet of tubing that drains any fluid that the former crater produces. It has made for some interesting conversations with Cecilia, age 2. She now can say and understand "sick tummy" and no matter how many times a day she sees it, she gasps and asks "are you OK?" My props to Cecilia, though, because she's catching on. My sympathies to the woman who loudly asked me in a room full of people "is that urine [in the tubing]?" Come on, do you have to have a M.D. to know that urine doesn't come from one's belly button?

Anemia -- Well, I'm still black and the non-brown parts of me have resumed the appropriate color. It was interesting seeing white people with more color than me, but I can attest to the fact that white hands, eye lids and lips didn't raise my credit score. Now that I'm not a staph colony, my anemia seems to be improving, but I will always have chronic anemia.

Blood pressure, blood sugar, mental stability -- ditto, ditto. It took a couple of weeks, but I'm calming down nicely. I first had the insane fear that this bout with unhealthiness would cost me everything that I had. I accessed everything that I had and decided that few creditors would be coming after those assets with an eye dropper so I actually had little to worry about.

Weight -- why, thank you for asking! One week after having my 6 months banderversary, I have lost 70 pounds. Being the ungrateful snot that I am, I've complained that at least 10 of those pounds might be the easy "sick" pounds that might come from being white as a sheet while skipping in banana shoes over freshly-dug graves. As soon as I could stomach it, I've tried to "slow" things down by eating a few Rocky Road shakes and my favorite Moo-lenium Crunch ice cream. (If you've known me since childhood, yes, there's really an ice cream named "Moo-lenium.")

I'm Ok with the slightly rapid weight loss experienced in February and I'm ready to take those 70 pounds and move forward to my first 100 pounds. I'm less than 15 pounds away from 250 and that will be a full 100 pounds under my highest weight ever of 350. I haven't decided the significance of that.

I'm pretty excited about my 6 months pictures. I broke my glasses in my hospital room and I have a bad case of "dry pillow head." I have new "small, sassy" glasses and I'm working my nerve up to cutting my hair before taking another picture. Well, I have to use some kind of bait to keep you blog readers coming back for more.

Thank you for your support.

Help Me Pick Up the Pieces of My Journey

2005-02-22T08:32:00.000-08:00

Through this journal, I've often been able to take a bleak, sad situation and turn it into an inspiring moment. I'm hoping for that kind of magic right now. I've been avoiding my journal, yet again, because this isn't a pretty picture. I wish my problems involved late-night snacking or high-carb weaknesses. My Bandaid journey has turned into a survival story filled with physical and emotional pain, spiritual challenges and a few medical mysteries.

I'm long-winded and this isn't related to weight loss surgery so I'll (attempt to) make it short.

For a month I suffered with fever, pain and anemia. There was a long list of things to rule out and my two doctors each whacked away at the different ends of the list. (I think I've been sick enough to only call them by their real names: Drs. Melancon and Leblanc.)

I had scans and tests and X-rays of just about everything. We ruled out anything related to the weight loss surgery and the lap band that's still functioning like a charm. The only clearly evident and treatable issue was that I was that I had chronic anemia and it was getting worse. I began to wonder if anemia could get bad enough to cause all the problems I was feeling.

After three weeks, my fever began to rise from low-grade to high with alternating chills and I started the first of two rounds of antibiotics. After ruling out the gall bladder in an other-night hospital stay, we all felt I was over the infection-thing and on the road to beating the anemia thing.

Next things got ugly. My fever came back during the second round of antibiotics and my pain, centered on my abdominal region, started to make every task difficult. On my six week's weight loss check-up, I found myself in my wls doctor's office with a high fever and horrible pain. It was very evident to my surgeon from the bulge near my former hernia, that the site of the fever-spiking infection was the hernia repair site.

I went straight to the hospital to await surgery the next morning to drain the infected area and install a wound vacuum . I was too anemic to undergo surgery and I had to have a transfusion the night before. I had surgery and started using a suction-like device connected by a tube from my former belly button to keep the wound open and fluid free. I spent the rest of the week in the hospital and had another transfusion, tons of IV antibiotic that could kill horse-like germs and eventually went back to surgery to have the wound repacked and checked.

The hole in my tummy housed a staph infection and it's best that it remain open while I take another month of antibiotics. I'm attached to the wound vac device for at least several more weeks and there's another surgery looming in less than three weeks.

For the life of me, I don't know how my journey to wellness became so unwell. While in the hospital, I lost another "cheap and easy" 10 pounds or so. To me, nothing's worse than losing weight when you're sick and I threatened to go out and get a giant ice cream sundae. Unfortunately (?), I probably couldn't keep it down.

So here I am nearly 70 pounds down since weight loss surgery. I would love to pick up the pieces and concentrate on proteins, carbs and fat grams once again. There's always been a feeling of control in this journey and I frankly miss "somebody" being in control.

I want to know what God is trying to teach me through this journey and I have no doubt that His perfect will shall be done. I'm unsure if I'm growing in grace or just being whacked by a giant heavenly baseball bat.

Stay tuned as I desperately try to pick up the pieces and renew my journey to wellness. I can't, however, bend and lift too easily so I'm still soliciting help in picking those pieces up.

The Missing Valentine's Weigh-in

2005-02-21T20:33:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, there was a lap band loser who had big plans for Valentine's Day. I've always liked fairy tales and I thought I was writing one six weeks before Feb. 14. My previous weigh-in dropped me below 300 pounds and gave me a four months loss of 46 pounds. For my fifth month weigh-in, I wanted to concentrate on wellness -- those things that could not be measured by a scale.

Well, my fairy tale has become a nightmare, but here's the numbers that I was too sick to post. At 5.5 months, I had lost a total of 62 pounds. I netted 16 pounds during that period, but none of my other goals were met because wellness seems like a dream now instead of goal.

In the doctor's office, I also had a fever of 102+ and series of other symptoms that sent me straight to the hospital to await surgery the next morning. That was Valentine's Day.

I’m Alive!: Sorta

2005-01-28T17:14:00.000-08:00

This pass week reminds me of the story of someone facing tremendous danger. They said: "My first fear was that I was going to die. My second and greater fear was that I wasn’t."

It’s been a tough week and not wanting to leave any suspense on the blog, and I been fairly quiet except on obesityhelp.com. A week ago, I had a chest X-ray and it was followed by an upper GI, blood work and abdominal CAT scan. My mysterious pain started right below my chest, spread to my tummy and by last weekend, I had pain from my fingers to my toes and several days of fever.

My week started with SupaDoc and ruling out any problems with my lap band and it ended with Reality Doc finding a path to combat anemia – the only for sure thing ailment presenting itself.

Oh, Reality Doc = Eric Melancon – not melon cone!

SupaDoc = Karl Leblanc - not la blank!

After ruling out just about everything imaginable, we were left with extremely iron-related blood levels. Dang, I thought I was doing so well!

I am using vitamins, nutritional supplements and lots of prayer, but I need more (the prayer too). It’s a case of not holding on to enough and becoming anemic.

Funny, my PCP also says my pain will improve when I lose some weight. I have regained a few pounds lost in some 2-weeks of yo-yoing, but I’m still down at least 51 pounds by his chart and scale. That’s OK, I’ll bite, let’s lose some weight.

Anybody out there got any suggestions on anemia? I’m taking a big huge horse pill twice a day, trying a liquid diabetes medicine and the other stuff I talked about last week.

Oh, all you exercise ‘gym rats’ out there: I do realize the importance of exercise and I do walk and I’m really hoping to move up to health club-like activities when I’m not incapacitated with pain and anemia. It’s been really bad and it’s always lots of fun when someone opts in, "hey, ever thought about exercising?"

It’s a common myth I’m seeing. Most people think that people have weight loss surgery because they are against diet and exercise. Be warned, I’ll have PMS next week and I won’t be responsible for any folks mowed down by a late model red SUV. (If I’m chasing you on foot, you do stand a fighting chance, though.)

Truth be told, weight loss surgery without a lifestyle change in both diet and amount of exercise will probably not be successful. It’s not the easy way out, it’s just the "only" way for many of us.

The pictures through out this entry are from our walking tour of the Baton Rouge zoo. My exercise included pulling Pink Power Girl away from the talking bird exhibit. And yes, I feel as bad as I look, sorry.

I’m beginning to worry about my Valentine’s Day goal of lowering my body fat percentage by five points. My journey to wellness now includes raising my iron count to double digits and getting the minimum levels of hemoglobin.

Well, at least I do a better job with Cecilia.

Wellness and goals not defined by a scale

2005-01-19T01:18:00.000-08:00

I’m so proud of me. At nearly five months into this weight loss journey, I have a routine!

It’s not the best routine and I’m sure it’s not the most successful one, but I’m about to stick what’s left of my chest out and tell you what I’m doing toward my health and wellness goals. First of all, have you noticed the new fancy term: WELLNESS. Wellness is my new best friend.

I’m not trying to become skinny, shapely or gorgeous, my goal is wellness. I’ve heard about this ‘wellness’ before and I always associated it with psychobabble on the grand and corporate level. Nay, nay, bunny rabbit! With a little hard work and lots of prayer, you too can achieve wellness.

I know now that I can lose weight. The pounds they are a dropping, but wellness will not accompany that Size 9 pair of jeans. Folks can be thin and "unwell." Kinda stinks, but I don’t make the rules; I just write about them.

Truth be told, at almost 60 (unofficial results, keep your Lotto tickets) pounds down the line, I still have diabetes, hypertension, a weird back ‘thang’ and a new weird front ‘thang.’ The thangs are aches and pains which are most likely associated with the colder weather or the fact that there’s a spring loose in my biological clock and someone thinks I’m approaching 40. If I were, per chance, going to be 39 this year, I might be feeling some age and weight-related ailments.

Wellness is not a status on the scale or the number of rings you will find inside my trunk.

Wellness is a way to look at my entire body and striving to achieve that which will make me look, feel and BE healthy. The ‘be’ is the catcher. You may think I look much better, but my blood pressure meter still displays a skull and cross bones when I come near it.

Two weeks ago, I made a vow to concentrate on those things the scale couldn’t bring me. The first addition to my routine was apple cider vinegar. The apple cider vinegar near the salad dressings at your local grocer has long been associated with a wide range of health benefits. If you recall "an apple a day, keeps the doctor away..." Well, don’t fear the doctors, it’s the undertaker who doesn’t dispatch a return ticket.

Way back yonder, before I escaped from Texas, I was in water aerobics class and the guru swore by this apple cider vinegar. Heck, it was cheap, so I tried it. Many of the ladies thought it helped them lose weight, but I soon discovered an undeniable affect, and I quote: "It made ya pee like a hose!"

(Excuse my crudeness)

I’ll add a few links below to debatable cures associated with ACV, but what seems most certain is that it’s a great way to detox and rid your muscles of excess water. I decided to go back to the ACV because of my long-term problems with water retention and high blood pressure. I don’t know if it’s a miracle cure, but it’s helping me with the retention.

I’m trying to use a teaspoon or two before each meal. In the morning, I have a heaping tablespoon in a small, 1/4 cup of warm water. I heard this helps, but if pressed for proof, I will say "DUH?"

Next, I followed up on my plans to reincorporate some type of protein/vitamin drink into my daily routine. Those of you who have followed the blog since its start, know that I swore off the high protein drinks after enduring months of allergy-provoked hives. Not only does most of this stuff taste like nuclear waste, but it was also filling my unwell body with chemicals and strange sweeteners that kept me scratching and calling my poor doctors all hours of the day and night. I sent SuperDoc a long list of resources citing the harmful affects of one particular ingredient. He looked at me, smirked and said "you found all that out...go back and research until you find something that works for you; then tell me about it."

Here’s a man who knows how to deal with a smartbutt with a high-speed connection and too much time on her hands.

And the winner is JUICE PLUS COMPLETE. Ok, I cheated a little. I’ve used Juice Plus before and I already knew a few things about it. First, it tastes wonderful and even my sweet-a-holic husband goes ape for it. Second, it’s not just high protein, it’s high wellness. I researched, read labels and eliminated products and I came back to Juice Plus.

I feel like a tree-hugger, but the big seller for JPC is the fact that it’s natural. No articificial sweeteners, no chemicals from outer space – just powdered real food. Food is good, right?

JPC isn’t super high in protein, 13 grams a scoop, but I gravitated toward it because of its list of vitamins and key nutrients that I would have to get from another set of secret potions or multi-vitamins anyway. With my protein, I get 50 percent of most vitamins I need in a day and 100 percent of the Vitamin C. When I saw it also contain easily digested iron, I was sold. I do need to clarify a few things, though. Unlike many bariatric patients, I’ve been left with no malabsorption issues and I can take all my vitamins and protein by mouth. With the JPC, I get 20 grams of protein (cause I take it with milk) and the rest of my protein comes from, as I like to say, "stuff that used to be kicking" and dried beans and nuts. Vegetarians, please don’t flame me, but meat is good and I do chose to get my 80 grams of protein the old fashioned way. (I hit it on the streets like a good hillbilly.)

Honestly, while on the way to my new house in the sticks, a mama dear and her twins ran in front of the car a few months ago. I’m truly torn because they are cute as buttons, but if someone else dresses them, lean protein is lean protein.

Back to the supplements. Scott and I bought a four-month supply of Dutch chocolate and French vanilla. I don’t think it will last four months because Scott drinks them like dessert. He’s gone all ‘smoothie’ with them and adds bananas and strawberries and crushed ice, etc. (He would make a good bartender – he’s available, by the way.) My shake of choice contains chocolate JPC, milk and instant coffee – ice mocha in the morning, oh yeah!

I think I’ll just scan the label and write another post about it. The highlights are the fact that it contains only natural fructose, no dairy products and has that extra fiber kick that someone’s been missing in her diet. Folks well-versed in wellness protocols will also recognize chromium and acidophilus (aids digestion).

I don’t want the journey to wellness sermon to end without giving a shout-out to BEANS! Yes, beans and I have kissed and made up. Beans are protein-packed and are sooo easy on the old budget. We brought dried red beans for 98 cents and black-eyed peas were four for $1. With protein exceeding 14 grams a serving, it just makes good wellness sense. The only thing better, is both meat and beans or chili. My homemade chili gives me almost half of the 80 grams of protein recommended by my doctor. Now I call it "protein soup."

And how has this search for wellness turned out? Well, only time will truly tell, but I’ve been averaging a 10 pound loss per month. After incorporating these items and doing some upper body exercises, I seem to have doubled my results to a near 10-pound loss in two weeks. This is quite unofficially, however, the real results come on Feb. 14 when we announce a new official weight loss and see if I met the body fat challenge of lowering my percentage by 5 percent. I can’t wait.

For more on wellness and nutrition see:

I'm No Overnight Success

2005-01-14T15:04:00.000-08:00

My desire to get me healthy is getting to be part desperate need, part ego at this point. I finally went to see my internist (I call him "Reality Doctor") today and after weeks of denial and avoidance, I had to face the health music.

I found myself just wanting to "the star" shining through with perfect scores in everything: weight, blood pressure, blood sugar, shiny white teeth.

My blood pressure has been going from moderately high to "oh-can-I-dig-the-hole-now?" high for several weeks now and I keep telling myself that it's getting better -- I just check it at the wrong times. Friday afternoon was apparently one of those wrong times. After the first reading of 160/104, I was given a few minutes to breathe deeply and relax. OH, WHAT PRESSURE TO PERFORM!

After my trip to deep breathing land it rose to 170/114. I assured Nurse Shannon that it was only "lab coat hypertension" and I was afraid of her boss, Reality Doctor. Reality Doctor is the coolest dude and when I grow up I want to be just like him, but I do feel the need to be GREAT every time I see him. He seems to lean toward the other weight loss surgery options and I really want to prove to him that the right patient (me) can make this lap band thing work. It's an ego thing.

I've lost 20 pounds since I saw him last and I don't think I'm a weight-loss failure, it just points to the fact, again, that this is no overnight or miracle cure. I was hoping that the rules of life didn't apply to me and I could be drug-free by five months.

I got a new crop of meds and I think it's darn time I stop thinking about that scale and get these numbers down. My blood sugar A1C (index of a long-time range of blood sugar level) has dropped almost an entire point and I'm happy to have that. I'm having some bad back and hip pain that may be siaticia or a recurring back problem. The doctor said since I've lost a lot of weight, there are changes in the way I carry my weight and that might be causing the pain. Hmm, how fair is that: I got back pain because I was too fat and I now got back pain because I'm losing weight?

Reality Doc doesn't make the rules, he just deals the cards and keeps me aware that this is a process. (By the way, the earlier blog entries identified Reality Doc as Eric Melancon -- I really should stop giving out new names, but it amuses me.) If you just read "Me-lan'-cone" you are, no doubt, not from Louisiana.

Mama calls my doctors "Boudreaux and Thibodaux," partially because I talk about them so much and also because they have solid Cajun names: Melancon and Leblanc. All jokes aside, they give South Louisiana medicine a good name.

So I have my marching orders and a new set of goals to squeeze in before we announce on Valentine's Day if I met the body fat challenge. I need to lower my blood pressure (take your medicine, stupid), lower my blood sugar (take our medicine, stupid) and work through the back pain (don't ask to borrow those meds, they are all mine!)

Oh, wow, I'm so proud of myself ... I didn't list "lose some more weight."

A Big Rose and One Hefty Thorn

2005-01-07T16:57:00.000-08:00

The Apostle Paul speaks in 2 Corinthians of a "thorn in the flesh." A weakness, a pest -- something that he longed to be removed from his life, but something that he carried to his grave.

Paul (no last name given) spends a great deal of time pondering his pesky pain, his perturbing predicament and even asks three separate times that God perform a bypass, of sorts, on his life and free him from the proverbial thorn.

The Lord sends him an answer and it's a "no." No, he won't remove the thorn, but he will help Paul understand it. "In your weakness, I am strong," God says and Paul begins to realize that the thorn is a good thing. It keeps him humble, keeps him human and, I would like to think, keeps him from getting "the big head." The "getting the big head" translation, of course, comes from the RFV: Revised Frances Version.

There's a serious truth here that I hope I don't miss it with too much smirking. I'm a strong, confident young woman and, despite my extreme weight, I battle an ego just like skinny, rich folk. My biggest (OK, second biggest) fear in this weight-loss journey is losing my thorn.

My weight has always been, well, a weight around my neck. I wasn't the most popular kid or the one voted most likely to succeed because I was the fat kid. Years of teasing later followed by years of health problems made me sensitive, I think, to suffering and darn resilient. Becoming thin is some pretty scary stuff.

Both of these pictures make me cringe. Things are improving, but I've always avoided pictures of myself like the plague. I don't see this person and I guess I don't like this person -- but I love myself.

Hmmm? Yeah, I outta put the pipe down for a second.

I love Frances cause she's fun, witty and she doesn't have any weaknesses -- except she's never completely dealt with who she is; all 300 plus thorns weakening her flesh and shortening her life.

I'm forcing pictures in my journal because the camera doesn't lie (much) and how can I move forward if I don't know where I've been and my current location?

The picture on the left was taken at the beginning of this journey. Even though I can tell you I was sick and had a serious case of "pillow head," I never thought it was going to see the light of day. After 50 pounds, I'm still quite embarrassed. I decided to post them both last night to force myself to see how serious this problem had become and keep me motivated to take a better picture and therefore continue to be healed of a long list of ailments.

I'm ready to give up my thorn, but I think the sting will remain for life. The sting of extreme morbid obesity will keep me working even after I've reached my goal and I truly hope it will keep me reaching a hand backward to people climbing the same ladder.

Food note: Speaking of protein supplements. I recall suffering with the yucky protein drinks that gave me hives months ago and tonight's meal makes me smile. Do you know that one serving of red beans has 19 grams of protein and tons of fiber? If you can't cook dried beans, shoot me an email. Mix in some lean sausage at 8-9 grams per serving and you are packing some pretty potent protein power -- Louisiana style!

True Confessions: It hurts

2005-01-04T23:22:00.000-08:00

I'm not in the P.R. business for the weight-loss industry, but I might as well be. I get so many pats on the back and "atta girls" these days that I struggle with any sign that I might not be basking in Perfectland.

I've been living in the adjoining community of Painville for a couple of days and I'm slightly amused at how difficult it's getting for me to acknowledge that something's wrong. I can write that this surgery isn't an overnight cure, but there's a strong temptation to pretend that it has solved everything from PMS to the cracks in my new driveway.

And I don't think it's all the fault of my delusions and denial. All my life, every ill I had was associated with excess weight. I remember the Jordanian doctor with the heavy accent leaning over my bed when I was in college: "Why you have headache? You think you gain weight and it give you headache?"

And so started a lifetime of weight-related medical questions:

With a Southern accent: You got painful cramps, hon? You think your weight gain might have something to do with it?
With no accent: You got infertility? You think that extra weight gain coupled with the fact that you are currently not seeing anyone (hence, not having sex) might have something to do with it? Let's concentrate on losing some weight and finding a father, whataya say? (Five pregnancies later, I must say finding a father was a miracle cure for conception woes.)
With a jerk's accent: You got degenerative back disease? Well, it's never going to get better until you lose some weight. There's nothing I can do for you. (I later formally requested that this practice "bite me" a little lower than the disc rupture at L3-4.)

Of course some of that stuff has been embellished cause it's 1 a.m., the plain truth is so dull and Lortab seems to bring out my creative side, but it does illustrate that I've been told everything comes back to weight and I've finally had some real success at weight loss. So why do I hurt?

I guess Dr. Leblanc forgot to use his magic wand on August 23 and some things will still have to wait their turn in this progress. It just doesn't happen overnight. Duh, Frances!

Until all becomes perfect in this world, I have to pick up the phone and tell "reality doctor" (PCP, Dr. Melancon) that my lower back pain is nearly unbearable and my blood pressure is a tad "high." Ok, my definition of tad: I woke in the night and took it. The cuff reinflated itself three times before finally popping off my wrist and flying across the room. Tad.

My rationale in this blog entry was to first admit to you (my faithful readers) that I'm not a Perfect 10 and give myself enough grace to admit that I might need some help. Couldn't I just pick up the phone? Your answer to that question will be truly based on how long you have known me. If you've never met me, let's just say I'm a little "ambitious" about everything and my head is "hard like rock."

Pain is a great wake up call. Right now I'm getting the message that 50 pounds is just a start and I still have lots of work to do as I take the proverbial one day at a time.

Later note: Hey, I didn't want to burn another day's entry on this, but I spent most of the day in bed and I feel much better. Good thing, my PCP's office is out until Friday. I think I will live until then. I'll follow the sage advice. Me: "Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I over-do it." Doctor: "Don't do it." (and duh!)

Hello 2005 ... Goodbye Pink Lacies!

2005-01-01T14:27:00.000-08:00

It's a quiet New Year's Day and both Cecilia (2 years, 2 months) and I (2 many to count) are trying to get over a nasty cold/virus thing. We seems to have the same thing and while I feel like I'm on death's door, Cecilia is bouncing around like a crazed chicken on crack.

A few minutes ago, Cece came out of our office/junk room sporting her pink footed pajamas and my fancy lace unmentionables (but, hey, if I mention them, I guess they need a new name) around her neck like a cape.

"Scott," I cried out, "do you know your daughter is wearing my pink lace drawers?"

Scott's in video game mode, but he offered to retrieve them if I liked. I declined since the lacies (circa size 26/28) don't stay up anymore and it seemed to make her happy for a hot pink second.

Cece flew through the house with the lacies flying in the breeze behind her like the superhero Pink Power Girl.

Next, she let them hang off one shoulder and the lacies became a royal slash. I was so proud to think of my little girl being named the U.N. ambassador to Victoria Secretland.

Soon, she tired of them and left them in the middle of the great room floor. I decided it was time to say goodbye to the wide-and-delicates, but I picked them up and put them away just in case the Jehovah Witnesses (our only holiday guests) came back in the morning.

Yes, this is as deep as my New Year's ponderings have gotten.

I'm excited about this new year's start, but I think it would be very sad if my goals centered around being able to shop for clothes in the "regular size" stores. What I have gained is so much more important than size 9 jeans. Cecilia is my miracle child and giving her an active, healthy mommy is like winning the lottery. I would like to eliminate my need for blood pressure and diabetes medicine and take many long, long walks to the park with Pink Power Girl. Whether I'm wearing my same old clothes held tight by safety pins doesn't factor into my happiness equation.

I plan to concentrate less on the scale and more on my body fat percentage and building some good muscle mass. If I gain some weight in doing so, that's fine with me. I plan to use Juice Plus supplements to aid in my nutritional goals, but I will eat, drink and consume good old fashioned food -- no fasts, no all-liquid regimens, no elimination of one particular food group.

That may come as surprise to many folks unfamiliar with bariatric surgery. It's no "overnight cure." Developing a new lifestyle is crucial to success and survival. One must read labels, plan meals, keep a balanced view of food and still deal with temptation.

So far, we have achieved a few important changes. We lean toward lighter bread alternatives and we are now stocked up on baked crackers, tortillas and flavored wraps. Snacking isn't forbidden in our household, there's just more choice and more protein.

The biggest temptation that I'm finding hard to resist is rushing the weight loss. It seems that most folks interested in weight loss have the one-year limit in their minds -- 100 pounds in one year or 150 pounds in one year. Don't get me wrong, it is quite possible, but I don't want to deny my human nature for one year thinking "in just one year it will all be over!"

I truly believe the gradual changes will eventually be changes for life; a long, long life. My doctor says this is a 2-3 year process and that's not really a long time. I tried to carry a baby to term and was pregnant on-and-off for almost six years. It's amazing how short that times seems now and I really would do it all over again (if I had not had my "get-out-of-pregnancy-alive" card retracted).

As the New Year dawns, I guess my focus is on quality of life and family -- not a year from now, but right now. I didn't make the cabbage, but I have a huge pot of black-eye peas waiting. We will team that up with sauteed veggies and sweet potato casserole from last night. Here's to a fresh, tasty 2005 full of life and good times and no more parachute lacies!

Editor's note: The images in this post were added a week later.

Four months: Drum roll pleeeeze!

2004-12-30T12:12:00.000-08:00

One milestone down -- One (at a time) to go.

I'm back from my doctor's appointment marking my four months post-op visit. I had my doubts on my New Year's goal, but I have indeed made it. I weigh less than 300 pounds -- 297 pounds to be exact. I have dropped 46 pounds since August of this year and I'm more than 50 pounds lighter than my highest weight reached of 350 pounds.

I'm far from finished and far from the picture of health. Many bariatrics patients I've met have started weighing less than my weight now, but I choose to take the challenges and victories in convenient, bite-size portions (go figure, huh?).

"Reinventing Fran" is a group project and I dare not take credit for this first victory alone. My family, friends and blog readers have been supportive and caring. Many of your calls and emails have kept me off the virtual (very real) ledge time and time again.

If I had been told I would have developed such a close relationship with my doctor's staff and the weight loss support group, I would not have believed it, but is so incredibly true. I've never felt alone in this battle thanks to M.I.S.I., NooMee and 1stCo.

Here are two unsung heroes: Kristi and Genie are two individuals with a thousands things to do in a short period of time and their smiles never take a day off. Most amazingly, the words, "I'm sorry, but I don't have time to...." are simply not in their vocabulary.

I'm a big fan of Super Doc ("Supahdoc") and I think my nickname may someday stick. I have, however, nothing but the highest respect for Dr. Karl Leblanc.

Today's visit was a big evaluation time for us. I'm never "thrilled" by my progress because I still have the thought that maybe I'm not doing enough. Dr. Leblanc was like a proud papa and assured me that the expected weight loss post lap band is about 2-4 pounds a month. I'm averaging 11 pounds a month and I know in my heart's of hearts he's right.

I guess the hardest part of my expectations involves the fact that gastric bypass patients lose weight so much faster. The lap band procedure has helped me limit portions and stomach volume, but I don't suffer food intolerances. Many of the gastric bypass patients you have of heard experience "dumping" if they consume certain foods like desserts and things with a high sugar content. I, on the other hand, baked a chocolate/German chocolate cake Christmas morning. I ate some, but the biggest challenge was keeping those little 2-year-old paw prints out of it.

My health stats are improving: A BMI of 59 has dropped to 48. My percent body fat has dropped to 49 percent which goes a long way to making my body a better, "less oiled" machine. I feel better and that's a great plus for me right now.

Food preparation has become lots of fun thanks to our friends at Louisiana Culinary Institute. I got a kick out of telling my mom that my toddler was in her high chair enjoying herb-crusted baked chicken breast, rice and a salad. My husband is all for the fresh, raw or crispy sauteed vegetables and fresh herbs. I'm eyeing a spot in my yard for an herb garden. Anyone with experience with raised-bed gardening, please send me a comment.

Thanks, again, to those of you who read the blog and encouraged me for the last four months. My next milestone comes on February 14 -- Valentine's Day. My new goals don't involve the scale as much as it does the other stats. I would like to achieve a body fat percentage of less than 45 percent. I guess it's time to burn some rubber!!!

Holidays can help unwrap healthy meal choices

2004-12-24T08:22:00.000-08:00

Editor's note: the following is a free-lance Christmas feature that appeared on a local news Web site.

By Frances Y. Spencer

"Merry Christmas" has long been associated with "what are we eating next?" Holiday parties and meals while fun, can easily throw merry-makers off course in their efforts to curb weight gain. Local bariatric surgeon Dr. Karl Leblanc points to reasons why the tree isn't the only thing in desperate need of trimming.

Click here for profile

Obesity, Leblanc said is an epidemic in the United States. It is defined as a disease because of "the long term effects of the problem such as hypertension, diabetes, arthritis, increased cholesterol and triglycerides. Also the fact that there is a significant increase in death rates in the morbidly obese," he said.

The holidays are as good as time as any to focus on healthy eating choices because anyone wanting to succeed in weight loss must commit to a change in lifestyle -- not occasional fasts and gimmicks. Leblanc's Minimal Invasive Surgery Institute aids patients by providing surgical intervention to initiate weight loss, but no matter where one starts the process, it comes back to lifestyle and healthy food choices.

"Overweight individuals typically do not have the sensation of satiety (fullness with meals). Consequently, most will eat until there is nothing left on the plate or when they are stuffed," Leblanc said. "Some of this is learned behavior from when parents tell the child to 'eat all your food', remember the starving people that would love to have this ... One must limit the amount of food intake and alter the types of food, such as low fat and high carbohydrates."

Click here for profile

Good food, however, isn't the Grinch that stole the holiday fun and a local chef and nutritionist is ready to step in with tips that can keep one merry and munching through the yuletide season. Chef Edward Rhinehart said planning and choice is a big part of healthier holiday meals.

"Replace key things," Rhinehart said, such as using extra virgin olive oil instead of the fattier butters for cooking and sauteing.

Rhinehart, an executive chef and instructor at the Louisiana Culinary Institute, identifies a direct link between convenience and unhealthy holiday choices. Individuals watching their weight during the holidays should be wary of over-processed, pre-packaged and canned items. Single-processed oils and fats are healthier and fresh fruits and vegetables will help one avoid added salt and chemicals, he said.

The young chef can rattle off a long list of healthy tips for the holidays and they include:

Early eating is better -- The body will process food better earlier as opposed to late at night.
Reach for coniferous vegetables -- like broccoli -- and don't over cook them.
Raw is better -- Keep parties stocked with raw veggie trays and don't shy away from putting 'live foods' on your dinner menu.
Use more crackers and less bread.
Alcohol makes it worse -- Even if you have achieved food moderation, don't forget to limit alcohol intake. Red is the healthier wine choice.

Leblanc echoed that the holidays are difficult for many because it's traditionally linked to lots of unhealthy practices. "... the holidays are the very worst. People are not really concerned about this at this time. As we know, most gain a few pounds around this time because of all the sweets and all the alcohol that is consumed. This is a very difficult time for anyone to diet unless they are unusually strong with their diet."

Weight-loss surgery patients may have the same holiday temptations as the general public, but Leblanc doesn't see a lot of weight gain among his patients. "Most are afraid of gaining weight, unless they are prone to cheat," he said.

What may help anyone trying to lose weight is a favorite-foods transformation. Rhinehart performs his own version of Extreme Makeover in his suggestion to make holiday meals healthier. A Festive Veggie Saute involves julianne green beans and other vegetables sauteed in butter and wine. He urged that the butter be replaced with extra virgin olive oil and a butter substitute spray could be added at the end of preparation if a buttery taste is desired.

Pre-cut green beans can be purchased canned or frozen, but Rhinehart notes that fresh, blanched beans will have a more vibrant color with no preservatives or added salt and "you know where it's been." Finally, he suggests that the vegetables be lightly sauteed so that the crispiness and nutrients are maintained.

Moving to main courses and meats, Rhinehart leans toward low fat/low carbohydrate dishes such as his Boston Pork Cup. While it might seem untraditional, what he called "local protein" offers a great alternative for holiday feasting. Meals containing crawfish, tuna, crabmeat and shrimp are lean, high protein options. His one warning, "keep it swimming in water, not in oil!"

Lemons, limes and herbs provide great flavor alternatives, but do not add fat or carbohydrates to the dishes.

On the Internet:

Healthy Holiday Recipes

2004-12-24T08:19:00.000-08:00

These are from the article above.

The following recipes come highly suggested for festive feasting with no guilty after taste:

Festive Veggie Saute

4 cups of blanched green beans (french cut or whole)
1 red bell pepper
1 yellow bell pepper
1 green bell pepper
1 large purple onion
2 cups of string-cut carrots
Extra virgin olive oil
Parsley
Seasoned to taste

Preparation: If the green beans are fresh, they will take more time to cook and require a separate pan (or separate cooking times) to keep everything crispy and not overcooked. Cover bottom of large saute pan with extra virgin olive oil. Add green beans when oil is hot. Add parsley or fresh herbs of choice. Saute over medium heat until beans are "just" cooked and still crispy.

Cut peppers and onion in long strips, not rings. This will keep the vibrant colors from segregating themselves. Saute peppers, onion and carrot strings in olive oil until they are "just" cooked and still colorful and crispy.

Mixed all vegetables and stir well and add salt, pepper or seasoning of choice.

Place hot Festive Saute in clear glass bowl so the colors can be the highlight of your holiday table.

Garlic and Rosemary Roasted Chicken

Portions: 8

Ingredients:
One 2 1/2 pound fryer, halved
Parsley, minced – ½ Tbl
Chef blend – 2 Tbl
Garlic, minced – 18 cloves
Rosemary, chopped, fresh – 0.5 oz

Mise en place:
Preheat oven to 275 F.
Chop fine fresh Rosemary.
Cut fryer in half French and de-bone separate breast and thigh.
Sprinkle with salt, ground pepper, garlic, and rosemary.
Bake breast and thigh separately until almost done.
Remove from oven and let cool ( 15 min. ) place in cooler.
Mince parsley and garlic.

Cooking:
Top with chefs blend and light rosemary.
Place chicken in pan and bake at 400 F for 15 min. 165 F.

Presentation:
Place chicken on plate and cover with sauce.
Place fried rosemary in bowl.
Garnish with chopped parsley and Rosemary.

Caesar Salad Dressing

Portions: 5

Ingredients:
Anchovy fillets (optional) – 5 ea
Garlic, crushed – 1 tsp
Egg, beaten – 1 ea
Lemon juice – 1 ½ oz
Extra virgin olive oil – ½ cup
Salt to taste
Black pepper, freshly ground – to taste

Mixing:
1. In large bowl, mash anchovies and garlic together to form paste.
2. Beat in egg and lemon juice until smooth.
3. Beating constantly with wire whip, slowly add oil.
4. Season to taste with salt and pepper.
5. Place in cooler until needed.

Balsamic Vinaigrette

Ingredients:
Fructose Sugar – 1 cup
Root Beer (diet) – ½ cup
Balsamic vinegar – ½ cup
Salad oil – 2 cups
Orange juice – 1 cup
Sugar free maple syrup – 1cup

Mise en place:
Sauce pan
Medium mixing bowl
Whisk

Cooking:
Combine fructose sugar, root beer vinegar and S.F. maple syrup in sauce pan.
Cook until all the ingredients are mixed well, but before crystals form.
Let cool to room temperature.
Mix in orange juice and oil slowly whisk until temporarily emulsified.
Label and refrigerate.

Presentation:
Drizzle on salad accordingly.

Boston Pork Cup

1/2 cup sweetened shredded dry coconut
1 tablespoon light olive oil
1/2 cup chopped red onions
1/4 cup chopped fresh ginger (grated)
3 tablespoons chopped garlic
1 pound pulled lean pork
1/3 cup lime juice
1/4 cup chopped fresh mint leaves
1/2 cup chopped pecans
3 to 4 tablespoons minced fresh peppers
2 small heads (about 1-1/2 pounds each) butter lettuce, rinsed and crisped
Add 2 Tablespoons of fresh herbs for a great change
To taste salt free seasoning of your choice

Instructions:
In a 10- to 12-inch frying pan, stir coconut over medium-low heat until golden and crisp, 5 to 10 minutes. Remove from pan and set aside. Add oil to pan and place over medium heat. Add shallots, ginger, and garlic; stir often until shallots are soft, about 5 minutes. Add pork; stir until meat is crumbly and no longer pink, about 5 minutes. Spoon off and discard fat. Add lime juice, chopped mint, peanuts, coconut, chiles, and fish sauce to taste; mix to blend.
Pour into a dish and garnish with mint sprigs. Accompany with lettuce leaves. To eat, spoon warm meat mixture onto a leaf, then roll to enclose.

Yield: 8 to 10 appetizer or 4 or 5 entree servings.

Per Serving: 224 calories, 11 grams protein, 7.7 grams carbohydrates, 17 grams fat, 31 milligrams cholesterol, 32 milligrams sodium

We Have Achieved Movement!

2004-12-09T15:26:00.000-08:00

I know that regular exercise is a big part of a successful weight-loss program, but I haven't been pain-free enough to take the plunge into any type of exercise. I still have some pulls and pangs, but I decided that today was the day that Cecilia and I would hit the streets. (Ok, I said I would take the dog too...Hmm, change in plans)

Another change in plans was that I didn't carry hand weights with me. I decided to put Cecilia (almost 35 pounds) in her wagon made for two (almost as heavy) and pull them both through our subdivision.

Yup, the blood has official been pumped!

We walked back to our old apartment down the road and then took the walking tour of our new neighborhood. Both Cecilia and I were sporting blue jean shorts. (This is Louisiana at Christmas time....don't you all have shorts on?)

After a thorough workout for mommy horse, we returned for a healthy shared snack. We combined our personal favorites and had a platter of apples, cheese and triscuits. My little angel loves apples and luckily I already loved cheese as a primary protein source.

We toasted our efforts with a sippy cup and a mug of cold water.

I don't know how miles I charted, but I'm sure it's baby steps in the right direction.

If you have any exercise suggestions, leave me a comment or drop me a line.

15 Weeks and I'm not looking....

2004-12-06T16:21:00.000-08:00

You see, I'm just that secure.

Ha!

Well, maybe it's true. I've told several people I'm within a handful of pounds away from my year end's goal of being under 300 pounds. I've decided not to post another weight until Dec. 30 -- just so happens, I have a doctor's appointment that day.

I think I'm extremely close to the 40th pound lost. I'm not to the point where my clothes fall off of me and I'm still a very overweight woman. I'm actually not too depressed about it and I have to keep having this talk with myself: No rush, slow is good, being healthy is key, no yo-yo dieting, enjoy yourself. Of course, I wish I had a magic mirror that could show me what I would look like 150 pounds lighter.

I haven't written a "State of the Body" address in a while, so I guess it would be good to catch you all up with me.

Frances is never common, so I don't expect my results to be common. I think I'm hitting in the middle. My good friend, a medical professional, is doing much better and has incorporated an exercise plan.

I have not exercised one bit. I'm looking forward to it, but I started having problems with the hernia 6 weeks into the process. My tummy looks like the browning map of a battle field: "See here, that's the six holes from surgery one and that big zipper is the c-section sitting atop the umbilical hernia."

When I go to the doctor, I feel like a docent at the Smithsonian: "Now, let's all walk over to the Lap Band port...walk swiftly...right next to the huge bruise on the left (ya know, George Washington once slept there!)"

But my war injuries are healing and I'm giving serious thought to "what" I will do when I can get out and test the waters. It's probably going to be walking and some light work with weights, but that could be fun for me and my little one and her "growing" monster puppy.

I'm also looking forward to more progress after I incorporate more exercise.

Other updates, let's see. I still have some aches and pains. If any other bariatric surgery patients are tuned in, how do you deal with sitting for long periods of time and do you feel more uncomfortable in the tummy after long sits? If you have comments, check the "comments" link at the bottom of each post and send me your 2 cents.

What am I eating? Well, my family isn't ready to satisfy a lot of separate dietary needs and wants after moving into MoneyPitt 2004 a month ago. We are a mommy recovering from two surgeries and trying to lose weight, a daddy who sometimes gets into nervous eating and a 2-year-old Mac-N-Cheese addict. I eat what they eat minus a lot of carbs and I seldomly eat bread. I'm eating small amounts of rice and potatoes and when I need to wrap a sandwich in something, I have low-carb wraps and tortillas instead of bread. I'm sure when we recover in 2005 and stop eating the house, I will re-incorporate high protein supplements and other aids. Until then, lots of chicken, tuna, tilapia and cheese. Don't feel sorry for me, though, I've always eaten lots of chicken and cheese and fish was always more of a luxury, so it's all good. I'm not suffering about missing my favorite foods, I'm just concentrating on moderation.

I had a long period where I stopped taking my meds: No blood pressure or diabetes meds, no vitamins (nope, nothing, but painkillers!). I think the stress of the move helped raise my BP back into medicine-needing levels, but the lack of vitamins was just stupid on my part. Well, my falling hair and monumental muscle cramps are helping to remind me how important vitamins are. I did say I was learning, right? Well, I can be a bone-headed student at times.

I would love to hear from you all, especially by family, friends and other bariatric surgery pateints. The "comment" link at the bottom of this post is open to everyone.

Until next time, thanks for reading and thank you for your support.

I Did Take My Vitamins Today

2004-12-03T21:02:00.000-08:00

I know it seems like a small thing, but I'm back to basics. I started training for a new part-time job, handled some business projects from home and found my vitamins.

I'm looking for the answers to all life's difficult questions and I keep forgetting that mismanaging this surgery isn't a good thing.

There's always something.

In my "gig of the week" I'll be teaching in an after school program for middle school students. Tonight, the lessons plans are calling.

Please note: Leave me a message, a comment or question by clicking on the little balloon or the "comment" link right under this post. I would love to hear from you!

Trying to get back on target

2004-12-03T11:10:00.000-08:00

The NooMee meeting so sooo wonderful. It was festive and emotional at the same time. I've been reminded how blessed I am and inspired to get back into the swing of things.

I had an opportunity to talk to two women who have had the Lap Band surgery and they were incredibly encouraging. My good friend has lost 45 pounds in about the same amount of time and a new friend has lost almost 100 pounds in a year and a half. Gives me new hope that my 36 pounds is on the right path.

I haven't taken my vitamins in weeks and my falling hair is showing it. I didn't think I was losing enough weight to worry about vitamin deficiency. I guess I was wrong. I'm going to go on a search for vitamins and come back later and write some more.

14 Weeks and 36 Drops in the Bucket

2004-12-01T20:37:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone, it's official: I'm back and there's less of me to report about. I really have a lot to catch up on in the last month to month and a half. I know I can't cover all the details in one post, so I won't try.

Since my last post: My daughter turned 2, we adopted a puppy, I turned "older" (10/22), my wonderfully, supportive mother suffered a stroke, I quit my part time job in New Orleans (that I loved), We moved into our new house (lovingly called the 'money pit') and I had a second surgery. Wheez! Yup, that's it and for Thanksgiving, I was thankful for LORTAB!

No, not really.

I was thankful for a number of things. I'm very blessed and I know my life is seldomly 'dull,' if nothing else.

While in Super Doc's office today checking on a few pains, I got a weigh-in that really lifted my spirits. I didn't expect much after Thanksgiving, even though I didn't "go crazy" on turkey and dressing. I just haven't have the mental or physical energy to try very hard. I'm just in survival mode.

Well, I've lost a total of 36 pounds in the last 14 weeks and I realized I was 7 pounds away from a big (huge, sizable, hefty, massive -- meaningful) goal of mine to be under 300 pounds.

That's where the drops in the buckets come in. It's hard not to compare success rates, but everyone wants to be at the end of the process, not chipping away at the first mountain peak. It's embarassing in many ways, but inspiring in others, to say I would like to start 2005 weighing 200 and 'something.'

I choose the slower procedure and the MISI staff has been wonderful about telling me that I'm right on schedule or doing very well. Truthfully, I don't want the surgery that the gastric bypass patients had, but I do want their results I guess.

"Hello, my name is Fran...I had to shorten it when I lost 100 pounds and 30 dress sizes in the last 3 months..."

Yes, I am silly, but I want to hold up the "massively too big dress" now being used as the tent headquarters for the 5th Mechanical Division enroute to Iraq.

In all seriousness, I'm thankful for the 36 pounds and the village of support that has gotten me to this point -- Family, friends, MISI, NooMee, Vista and you wonderful folks who care enough to read and keep up with "BandAid: The ramblings of a crazy fat chick."

Please check back because we have a lot to discuss: food, career, stress, my hernia repair and my plans to kick this weight loss into high(er) gear. I have pictures to post and lots of experiences.

Tomorrow is the NooMee Christmas party: What ever will I wear?

Six Weeks: Pain, Progress and Pushing

2004-10-06T21:02:00.000-07:00

I spent a good part of today in pain at Our Lady of the Lake Hospital and later in my doctor's office at MISI. I learned a lot about myself, medical professionals and pain.

Ignorance was bliss.

I started getting sick last night on the way back from from working in New Orleans. I never felt it was a complication of the Lap Band. I thought is was a gallbladder attack. It did seem like gallbladder problems, but I was wrong.

The Lord sent some wonderful people my way. They didn't do what they were paid to do, but what I truly feel what they are called to do. It started with a Dr. John Whitaker who was on call at night and had patience with my pain-induced babbling. My former victim (see cheesy apology) Scott Rogers came through early with a prayer and comforting words while I wondered how sick I was becoming. Kristi and Genie work for MISI and I'm not sure what their job descriptions are -- I just choose to call them lifesavers and angels of mercy. Genie kept working until she secured the earliest possible ultrasound to look at the questionable gallbladder. A really sweet lady in radiology worked hard to get the paperwork processed and even kept walking back and forth to the waiting room because she could tell I was in extreme pain. A dude named Kelley at OLOL had me seen and shot before the end of the lunch hour and ruled out the wrongly accused gallbladder.

Dr. Leblanc was in surgery and his surgery nurse Shari and Genie made me "home-like" comfy while I waited. I could have taken a rare Frances nap if I wasn't hurting and scared by the pain.

Of course there was also hubby Scott, once again driving Miss Crazy, keeping Miss Crazy focused and helping her get up and down and up and down.

Why mention these people by name, one-by-one. Well, I guess because it takes a village in this process. If you think it's about one person with a strong desire to preservere you are only partially right. You must learn to trust on the fly because strangers must become trusted allies in moments -- sometimes it takes a village to survive. If I face one cold brick wall along the way, it could be enough to keep me alone, suffering in silence and not progressing.

From pain come progress.

Although gallbladder attacks are common after rapid weight loss, I have a lot of gall and its bladder is functioning fine. It only took Super Doc (my new name for Karl Leblanc) to locate the pesky perpitrator: The hernia.

A couple of months ago I remarked how cool it was for me to have a bariatric surgeon who was also a world-renowned hernia repair specialist. I had no idea just what a blessing that combination would prove to be.

I don't know the medical description of what happened, but with a "poop" something out of place was popped back into place and even though it was an instance of pain, I started feeling much better shortly afterwards.

Unfortunately, the surgery we hoped would wait until my weight loss process was over can't wait. I don't avoid pain, but I do reverence it a little and when Super Doc said it would hurt more than the Lap Band surgery, my blood did run a little cold. It's not the worst pain in the world and it's not the worst pain I've ever experience, but as a point of reference goes, the six-week-old pain still rings fresh.

Warning to the staff of Vista Surgical Hospital: SHE'S COMING BAAAAACK! There's a strange solace there because it's small and personal -- like I'm going home.

Dr. LeBlanc will perform my surgery after returning from Europe to address medical gatherings on innovations in hernia repair (Looking for links). I consider myself to be, well, blessed. You see, luck is a tool of those who would prefer to trust chance over Divine Destiny. (Hmmm...a that's another column)

So, I'll prepare for surgery next month. I will use the time between now and then to finish my house, move out, move in, plan work projects and, hopefully, lose another 20 pounds. The latter is my personal goal in hopes that the surgery will be easier with less of me to fit back into the repaired hernia. Less pain is better than any other alternative save no pain.

At six weeks, I've lost about 26 pounds. If I can lose 20 pounds, my next surgery weight will be under 300 pounds. It' something to shoot for, but to make it happen I need to start exercising. I left the doctor's office and after a quick appearance at the building inspector's office and I used the remaining sunlight hours to finish painting my baby's room.

Onward!

I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT: And There's Cheese All Over It

2004-10-01T18:51:00.000-07:00

Subhead: I only write about men named Scott

I'm sitting here pondering a cheesy apology that's sorta sweet, but very sincere, while eating a cheesy snack that's both cheesy, cheap and good for me.

There's a beautiful soul out there whose spirit, like my Triscuit, has been smeared with cheese. I had no idea how blessed I was going to be when God sent Scott Rogers my way. He's funny and so over the top that his shoes have no scuff marks. Scott is a motivational speaker and he leads the NooMee support group meetings in which I have recently become a part. My sin is now clear: I said Scott led a fun, "cheesy" event and then remarked how much I enjoyed it.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I plead temporary inAmericanity. Forgive us, Scott, for we are Americans and know not what we do when we throw around cheesy adjectives like sharp Cheddar sprinkled on our nachoes. We like cheese and after life knocks us around all day long, a little cheesy humor and fun environments may be just what the doctor ordered.

I recently discovered that I may have been insulting. Scott motivated my Scott and caught his attention by creating an environment at NooMee that was so casual the healthy truth was not dull and preachy -- that's not easy. Scott motivated me to be human enough to give support a try -- that's a miracle. I expected sugar-free syrup: all the stickiness with none of the of the sweet rewards. I was so wrong. (If you're keeping count, I'm been wrong so many times through this experience I'm starting to question my genius status.)

In Scott the movitator, we find a heart strong enough to reach out a hand, but so human that he also lends a tear. God eases human suffering everyday, but His hands are tied. Instead, he uses people like Scott. But Scott's not unique, he's available. God doesn't use the rare, He uses the available.

I said I wrote this while pondering cheesy and eating cheese. I'm finding cheese to be utterly amazing and diverse. Some cheeses make delicate desserts while others form meaty entrees. Cheese can be described as sharp, mild, creamy and stinky. It may be the diverse nature of cheese that makes "cheesy" something totally different -- good or bad -- to different people. Maybe I'm just smoking Brie.

Strangely enough, I've been eating triscuits and cheese through this internal discussion. Well, I'm talking and eating cheese with (my) Scott. Spray cheese has become emergency protein rescue. At 8 grams of protein per serving, I carry it in my purse like medicine. Ya never know when you might find yourself trapped on the bridge over Lake Ponchatrain with nothing to ease the shakes but a can of spray cheese. Oh, sorry, that's right, this is just me.

Tonight, in the strange world of Frances, thanks is being given for God's special blessings: Two Scotts, wonderful support and cheese.

Big Challenges Make Big Trophies

2004-09-30T23:36:00.000-07:00

First, I don't get hunting, but like playing poker, I see some inspiring similarities with my weight-loss goals.

Hunters not only like to kill things, but they love to showcase the spoils of the hunt. Whether it be a giant stag above the bar or a huge bear skin sprawled across the floor, there's such great satisfaction in saying "It nearly killed me, but I killed IT!"

I've been away from my journal for quite a while. My challenges are mounting and like the Great Brown Hunter, I'm making space on the walls between running for cover and tending my wounds.

I marked my fifth week with little hoopla. I didn't gain a bunch of weight, but in the same vein, I didn't lose a lot of weight. My five-week weight loss stands at about 36 pounds. I only succeeded in losing the PMS gains.

I should be starting an exercise plan, but I'm only 'getting physical' at my soon-to-be complete house. I'm painting and hauling construction debris instead of pumping iron and walking miles. I should post a picture of the house because it has managed to take center stage.

I desperately need to get back into the bariatric-weight-loss swing of it, but I must confess I'm not the model patient. Lately, I skip meals trying to keep up with the new job in New Orleans and the new home project which seems to have been going on for years (only six months, but IT SEEMS LIKE FOREVER!!!)

When I skip the little meals along the way, I'm famished when I do get to eat. My capacity, at times, is approaching that of a normal adult. I'm scheduled to get a "fill" on Monday at my six weeks appointment with MISI.

When I called about the appointment and concerns, my doctor's nurse reassured me that it was just time for a fill. (Thanks, Kristi, no Grrrr, at all)

They will take a needle and add fluid to my Lap Band creating a greater restriction and once again, limiting the capacity of my stomach. These adjustments are expected in the adjustable lap band and it should help me fight off the really hungry feelings. I will be sure to write more about these adjustments and get some pictures if I can.

As difficult as some of the recent weeks have been, it's help bring out the best of old friends, new friends and perfect strangers. I have a wonderful support group and team of cheerleaders and I don't feel like I could make it without their encouragement.

I wish I could make this seem like an incredible piece of cake. It has coincided with come with some of the greatest challenges of my personal and professional life, but big challenges make big trophies and I have just the freshly-painted wall for it.

Let's Talk About the "P" Word

2004-09-21T17:35:00.000-07:00

A journal is personal and I should have known that sooner or later this one would also get embarrassing. I haven't posted an entry in a few days and it's about time to just jump right into the touchy subject: PMS.

I've made it to the four-week point on yesterday and I'm hovering 3-5 pounds above my previous loss of 35 pounds. I would have liked to have been at 40 pounds, but I know the 35 mark will probably hold pretty well after the effects of PMS have gone.

First of all, my apologies to anyone I might offend, but this is a part of the process.

My guess is that I've put on a little water weight, but the big concern to me yesterday was that I was hungry enough to eat a horse. I didn't eat a horse, of course, but there might be a missing pony or two in East Baton Rouge Parish.

I think my dinner last night was "normal." That scared my husband to death after weeks of tiny miniature meals. We ate out and I had grilled fish (all of it) and bits of a salad and a tiny amount of rice. Scott thought the band was about to burst or cause damage. Truthfully, I think I was just starved after a day of too much traffic and too little food. I considered calling my doctors office today to say: "I had an entire grilled fish filet -- how long do I have to live?" but somehow my pending demise wasn't enough to make me forget just how silly that sounded.

I think that internal stress and PMS might be a good test for the Lap Band because it opens the door to new doors of logic for eating. Eating can also become soothing and I find myself wanting to avoid the need for comfort food. Instead, this week, I've had very little food while on the run between Baton Rouge and New Orleans. I'm sure that's also not good.

The Hurricane scare of 2004 is over, but I'm still battling a killer commute and a hive storm.

Later this week, I'll write about Pilates class and I'll share my protein-packed quesadilia recipe.

No Tricks of The Trade

2004-09-16T18:10:00.000-07:00

When my little daughter -- Seed of Godzilla -- started eating solid food, our pediatrician urged us to not make separate meals for her. "Feed her what and when you eat," Dr. Elofson said.

A year later, I find myself following the doctor's orders for my own meals. I have an allergy to certain high protein drinks and an ever hungry toddler, so I find that Cecilia and I are eating pretty much the same thing. Her portions of our meals have more carbs -- she gets more pasta -- and I get whatever lean protein I've cooked in it.

Nearly four weeks after Lap Band surgery, I have few tricks of the trade, just survival. I'm using "Natural Whey" protein powder, but most of my protein is coming from lean meats and cheese. Fish, cheese, eggs (limited) and chicken. Then chicken, eggs (limited), cheese and fish. I'm limiting eggs right now because they've made me sick a couple of times.

My family has always been big milk drinkers and we are still buy whole organic for Cecilia and organic skim for us. I have tried the Carb Down 'milk beverage' and found it to be an excellent way to get 12 grams of protein per cup.

I guess I should explain the obsession with protein. Bariatric surgery patients are losing weight at a sometimes fast rate. Good protein intake helps maintain muscle mass while, hopefully, the body is burning fat stores. Muscle weights more than fat, but muscle burns fat while operating. Yes, as I understand, it's a massive conspiracy against fat, the enemy.

I can't afford to cook twice, but I'm hoping my routine will help retrain my body to accept smaller portions and limited carbohydrates. My aim also is to promote healthy eating for Scott and Cecilia. We differ in two ways -- Cecilia has toddler snacks like cereal bars and fruit and Scott can still support fast food America outside of the house.

It's always been my plan to invest in more portions, diet aids and drinks after the house is finished, but until then a more low-tech following of the rules seems to work just fine. (I hope to be near 40 pounds at the four-week mark.)

Three Weeks, 30 Pounds And One Huge Storm

2004-09-14T18:03:00.000-07:00

The world doesn't stop for gastric surgery patients. If anything, I can truly say that the last three weeks have been filled with six weeks of living. We are in the final stages of building a house, I'm trying to start working outside the city and trying my hand at motherhood again -- all while wondering if New Orleans will be submerged by Hurricane Ivan.

One might think that a stressful plate of life might have little to do with Lap Band surgery, but the reality is that a change in life must take place while "life" continues to spin 90-to-nothing.

If you were Oprah Winfrey, each alteration of life would be orchestrated by a personal trainer, a chef, a dietician and a slew of personal assistants. I'm not saying her life and dieting efforts aren't hard...hmm, well, yes I am.

In the real world a toddler's mother might feed the screaming tot twice before getting a protein-packed meal. The whole world says I can't care for Cecilia well if I don't put my own health first. Cecilia says: I'm up 20 minutes and what, no breakfast? (And boy, did that banana nut bread oatmeal smell good!)

Who knows, maybe the Lap Band surgery will be more effective in the long run because I was dealing with life full throttle while dealing with food in moderation.

I may have edged up a couple of pounds, but here are the three-week counts:

30 pounds in three weeks

Very little pain until I get tired

Lots of pain when pounced on by wonder tot who's home again

Still lowering the meds

Tired, like, stupid tired, about once or twice a day

That with sprinkles of depression, anxiety and (Scott says)temporary insanity

On a totally shallow note: I'm not dreaming of my first shopping spree. Instead, I'm having a ball shopping in my own closet. I have new clothes, old clothes, pre-pregnancy clothes and even a leotard from step aerobics class cira 1991. I'm just fine with those clothes. I'm just fine with clothes that are a little loose. I'm just fine putting in new seams when the clothes start falling off. I'm just cheap. (enough said)

Losing Weight, Gaining Hives

2004-09-11T15:09:00.000-07:00

I know I shouldn't peek mid-week or weigh everyday, but I was afraid that new scale wouldn't move at all. OK, I knew the scale would work, but I've been hearing stories about people hitting early plateaus and I got a little worried.

I last weighed Wednesday and I've lost seven pounds since then. (Sigh of relief)

If anyone is counting, other than me, that puts my loss at 32 pounds a few days before my third-week mark. There's a lot going on in my personal life and I'm at least very glad that it's not affecting my health goals -- other than the hives which seem to have switch to stress-induced hives since being sparked by my allergy to certain high protein drinks. The calm, often smirking look on my face is often masking the star of Driving Miss Crazy.

It's kinda interesting to watch. Since I have to eat so incredibly slow, I have lots of time to watch the hives emerge and spread across my arms like a scene from that freaky Alien movie. My next blog could be a horror flick -- Hives: The Horror Within!

I think we are on schedule and I'm taking as good care of that Lap Band as it's taking of me.

Now Hitting The Wall Makes Sense

2004-09-10T11:25:00.000-07:00

Last night I was frustrated because I felt so tired and, well, frustrated. Can one be frustrated because they feel frustrated? I choose to play the mental health card again and say that makes sense.

I got a reply to an email from Holli Paline at Vista Surgical Hospital. Holli is a registered nurse who works with gastric surgery patients both at Vista and MISI, my doctor's practice. Holli has the smile and spirit of an angel, but she got to the point in few words (I could learn a lot from Holli).

She picked up on what I said in the earlier email about being tired and unmotivated to eat or do anything right now. She reminded me that she told me earlier to expected a "tired, rundown feeling" around the third week. I'm not quite sure why, but I've simply hit the "rundown wall."

Knowing what my body is doing doesn't give me a sudden burst of energy, but I feel much less frustrated. Now I'm just TIRED AS HELL.

My advice: Go with it and when this phase is over, all will be better.

Hitting A (freshly built) Wall

2004-09-09T20:58:00.000-07:00

It's not a set back, it's just reality. I go, I go, I go, I smack.

Today was a pretty good day. I guess it was just too much day to be excited about this journey.

My days have been beginning consumed with getting my house finished. We've run into every delay imagined and the week after surgery I earned the Driving Miss Crazy handle. I'll admit it: I found myself in a slightly psychotic state of mind and decided it was a perfect time to make some phone calls. I might have found a new use for bariatric surgery.

I made my second commute to New Orleans and I love the environment. I learned my lessons two days ago and I felt much better at lunch time.

On the way back home, I thought about how great it would be to have Cecilia at home waiting for me. Instead, an inspection of our closets and interior doorways waited for me.

At the end of it all, I didn't feel like "getting in the protein," measuring the portions or building the muscles. I just didn't feel.

The best note of the days is that I've stepped down my blood pressure meds twice since surgery and it's still normal. That's going to have to be good enough for today.

Salute: Support Can Be Beautiful

2004-09-08T21:55:00.000-07:00

This blog and my life both can be thankful for this day -- My Scott's birthday.

My teddy bear and the father of my children became a little older today and it seems his only gift was more driving Miss Crazy and his self-professed 'combat' duty.

Scott and I have not shared many birthdays, but I've termed our time together as "intense." We have experienced both intense joy and pain. The same Divine Guide who brought 'online buddies' together kept us close through bigger clothes -- there's nothing like my gumbo in D.C. and tiny caskets -- we whispered goodbye to four of his beautiful babies before holding a Spencer miracle baby two years ago.

Scott helped me to see the beauty in me and I was thoroughly amused to be with a man who I couldn't be 'big enough' for. I felt it was cruel to change the rules and try to shed more than 150 pounds of the me that he loved like no other could.

I made the choice, but the journey is for two.

Happy Birthday, Scott, and keep ducking!

Medical Progress and 25 Pounds

2004-09-08T20:36:00.000-07:00

My internal medicine progress is being monitored by an ultra-cool doc dude who I never wanted to see in the first place. I've never been so happy to be so wrong about a situation. I love this practice and have we discussed that I don't impress easily?

My internist's office scale showed a 22 pound loss, but I remembered if was about six or seven pounds off from the surgeon's office. I settled on 25 pounds for my amount lost by my second week. I'll start using my scale at home as the standard as my doctor's appointments become more spaced.

My blood pressure is starting to improve even as my medication is being slowly decreased. Twenty plus pounds is good, but improved BP is huge. I'm monitoring it at home and I've even gotten some "normal" readings lately. Trust me, being 37 with a blood pressure reading of 180/110 makes you a little 'uneasy' to say the least.

I discussed energy levels and iron. These days I have two levels -- Flying high and hitting the wall. The doctor gave me a reassured 'duh!' "You were anemic, you had surgery and then lost 22 pounds in 14 days," he said, "you're going to be tired." Yup, makes perfect sense and if I wasn't so amused by his smirks I would feel silly for asking. He's certain my multivitamins with iron will make short work of the tired feeling.

I got a cautious "ok" for starting a Pilates class, but he told Scott I shouldn't do any sit ups or ab work for another six weeks. Scott seems unusually interested in my new activities because they will become his new activities. So this is for Scott: NO "AB ROLLER" (as seen on TV) FOR ME, BUCKO! I'm starting to like seeing it under my antique dining table -- feel the burn, hahaha.

Today's lesson: There are thousands of tomorrows in the path of recovery, but if I learned to tackle the only "today" first, I'm sure I will be the wiser, the thinner and more healthy.

New Job Brings New Lessons

2004-09-07T17:05:00.000-07:00

I will be the first to admit that I was really pumped about my new job. I don't get rattled about new jobs and challenges any more, but I was unsure how this period of recovery would affect my new journey.

It's about skills and talent, not about food right?

Not quite.

I'm going to be brief. (Yeah, it's possible.) I'll just say I learned some lessons about my new life:

Rush-hour traffic, a quick breakfast in the car -- NO.

Working lunch in a great, but crowded Cuban restaurant -- NO.

Doggie bag bites at your desk since you're famished-- NO.

That's a container of container orange juice, not water -- NO.

Plan the meals and take your time; this is for life -- YES.

I've started and finished lots of jobs/projects before. I've never factored eating, meal planning or food period in my career moves. I guess I have a lot to learn.

Two Weeks Under My Belt

2004-09-06T15:06:00.000-07:00

I have survived and Scott has survived...woohoo!

Today is Labor Day and I would have to say it is a fitting moment also to celebrate the end of the second full week after my Lap Band surgery. For those of you just joining the blog, I'm Reinventing Fran, Fabulous Franny, Full-figured Frances, Fat-Fighting Frances Y. and soon to be Fit Frances. Two weeks ago, I underwent bariatric surgery and a banded device was placed around my stomach.

Hopefully, my stomach's new "hourglass" figure will spark a similar adjustment all over. I haven't stepped on a scale yet, but I'm sure I'm at least down 25 pounds. I was down 18.5 pounds this time last week. I started at 342 pounds. It's not the way I see myself, but I hear the scales don't lie. (Well, I'm sure they have stretched the truth a time or two). Because I've been told I might suffer from Health Denial, I started taking pictures of myself last week. (Just my luck, cameras also don't lie.) I figured if I post some visual honesty (look two post down) every now and then, I might stay motivated, or thoroughly depressed.

It hasn't been all roses and Champagne, but there's some definite progress. I'm almost free of pain meds. I stopped regularly taking "the good stuff" about four days ago. The pain is quite manageable until I get tired and I'm fairly comfortable until I go to bed. I haven't found the key to laying on my two still-sore sides. Even a shapely Weather Girl like myself can't produce a third side to retreat to when I lay down.

Some victories:

I'm eating solid food. The liquid protein and I are not "making it." I'm still looking for something that taste ok and stays put without giving me hives. Good old-fashioned lean protein has come to my aid. I'm keeping count and getting a fairly decent amount of protein in milk, chicken, fish, turkey and cheese. I've had a couple of protein bars that aren't half bad too. My hat's off to the new Carb Down 'milk beverage.' Yeah, sounds funny, but this stuff is fat free and packs 75 percent less carb calories than regular milk and has 12 grams of protein in a cup!

I've eaten out. In both cases, Scott and I split grilled fish entrees. I had my ounce or two of fish and he had everything else, well, I think I've had a couple of token veggies bites here and there. How hard is it to go into a restaurant and eat two ounces of food? Hmmm, and the alternative would be????? It's easy. The old rule of "if it don't fit, don't force it," gives way to "if it don't fit, it's not leaving with you anyway." I like the path of least resistance.

I've been to many (many) fast food restaurants. I'm not forcing Scott to change his nutritional habits and we went through a drive through Mickey Ds on the way home after being discharged from the hospital. In fact, we spent a couple of hours in McDonald's yesterday. This one has a sports bar and Internet cafe. A McDonald's with wide screen football, kid's toys PLUS wi-fi is the Spencer Family paradise. Everyone was happy and we only had to leave because it was time to eat.

I've held my baby. Ok, we rigged it. Yesterday in church, I held Cecilia while my sister supported the baby by her feet. No pain, no pain and sometimes nothing can substitute for being held by one's own mommy. I will have to go another week without her and that will continue to be the hardest part of this.

I'm ready to try something new. The week before surgery I interviewed for a part-time Web position at Nola.com. I start tomorrow and while I might need some help commuting to New Orleans at first, I'm so ready for a new adventure. I haven't quite figured out where I'll stash those tiny little protein meals, but I'm sure I'll come up with something.

NooMee and a night on the town

2004-09-02T21:05:00.000-07:00

NooMee was not what I expected and I'm sure that's good thing. It's not heavy on the "chubby pity party theme," but it is so incredibly cheesy that I found it amusing and Scott had a wonderful time.

I came to realize that both Scott and I have some things to come to grips with before I can be successful. The NooMee approach of support, information and cheesy fun may be the thing that wins Scott over to a new way of thinking and living.

I don't need a boost or a group hug, but I was very excited by the guest speakers who talked about cooking, nutrition and exercise. I got some tools -- some bullets for my gun. I could tell that I would get some great advantages to reaching my personal goals.

A chef from the Louisiana Culinary Institute gave a great talk on practical cooking solutions and ways to get the most nutritional value from foods that don't have negative counter points. The next speaker talked about nutrition and health changes. The last encouraged finding one's fitness level and the most advantageous exercise program. There's a Pilates class planned in a couple of weeks and I think Scott's just excited about that as I am.

You folks who know me best, know that I'm not shy or inhabited. Part of it is my family's way and the other part of that may be from years in journalism and communications -- I've always thought I was great. Becoming a "NooMee" will mean I will have to see the part of myself I've always avoided without doing any damage to all the wonderful things I really do like about myself.

After the support group, we had a nice dinner out. I felt it was kinda like Scott's reward for being so good and supportive. It was a good learning experience for both of us.

The chef warned at the beginning of his talk that portions in most restaurants were outrageously large. So we ordered one entree at Ruby Tuesdays. Scott had the nice huge salad and I slowly munched on a bell pepper ring. When the meal came, I took an ounce of grilled fish and one shrimp. I paced myself and really enjoyed it. The rice that came with the meal was horrible and neither of us missed anything leaving it on the plate. (Note to Ruby Tuesdays: There's no cheese sauce in rice pilaf.)

It will take some time getting used to the stares collected when you eat less than 2 ounces of food in a restaurant, but I really like what the checks look like.

I will not be defeated

2004-09-02T15:59:00.000-07:00

Every now and then I have to kick myself or apply a not so gentle push. Most really kind people say "don't push yourself too hard," but they might not understand just how much mediocrity and failure scare me.

I rested and I moped. Then I got myself ready, washed my hair and started trying on clothes that only a few days ago had been too tight.

With or without Scott, I'm going to that support group meeting. He says he's coming and I keep struggling to put my best face forward.

I've never liked the idea of support groups. Just the thought of them reminds me of a taping of Oprah or Dr. Phil. I don't like public displays of pity and if I get any more aggressively confident the world might not survive it.

But I see this support group, NooMee , as a tool of survival. On the way out, I told Scott this surgery puts you at a point where success doesn't mean just losing weight -- It means you live -- and I can't afford even a moment of failure. I'm going to afford myself every single tool available.

I gave Scott the camera on my way out the door. Time to kick butt, take names.

Twinkles and Yaks

2004-09-02T11:34:00.000-07:00

This has been an early day and quite a long one already. I was writing a post to a local list-serve for overweight people (fat acceptance group) to try to bring my story to anyone considering weight loss surgery. I'm no poster-child for the industry, I'm just trying to detail it "as real as possible."

While writing it, I became so violently ill that I figured eggs had souls and the one I ate for breakfast was a poltergeist. My husband brought me a Wendy's Biggie cup and suggested I walk it off. When I returned to my computer, the following email was waiting for me from my Uncle Everette. I'll bow the rest of this post to it:

Wishing to encourage her young son's progress on the piano, a mother took her boy to a Paderewski concert. After they were seated, the mother spotted an old friend in the audience and walked down the aisle to greet her. Seizing the opportunity to explore the wonders of the concert hall, the little boy rose and eventually explored his way through a door marked "NO ADMITTANCE."

When the house lights dimmed and the concert was about to begin, the mother returned to her seat and discovered that the child was missing Suddenly, the curtains parted and spotlights focused on the impressive Steinway on stage. In horror, the mother saw her little boy sitting at the keyboard, innocently picking out "Twinkle,Twinkle Little Star."

At that moment, the great piano master made his entrance, quickly moved to the piano, and whispered in the boy's ear, "Don't quit. Keep playing." Then, leaning over, Paderewski reached down with his left hand and began filling in a bass part.

Soon his right arm reached around to the other side of the child, and he added a running obbligato. Together, the old master and the young novice transformed what could have been a frightening situation into a wonderfully creative experience.

The audience was so mesmerized that they couldn't recall what else the great master played. Only the classic " Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."

Perhaps that's the way it is with God. What we can accomplish on our own is hardly noteworthy. We try our best, but the results aren't always graceful flowing music. However, with the hand of the Master, our life's work can truly be beautiful. The next time you set out to accomplish great feats, listen carefully. You may hear the voice of the Master, whispering in your ear, "Don't quit. Keep playing." May you feel His arms around you and know that His hands are there, helping you turn your feeble attempts into true masterpieces.

Remember, God doesn't seem to call the equipped, rather, He equips the 'called.' Life is more accurately measured by the lives you touch than by the things you acquire.

Counting the Costs of the Loss

2004-09-01T19:03:00.000-07:00

I spent this entire day avoiding the blog because I was truly afraid of what I would write. It's not all high-fives and victory dances. Behind closed doors, it doesn't seem like a victory at all. Tallying the costs of a new start and this life revolution is a painful process.

The role I play in my family doesn't include holidays and vacations. Not being 100 percent for a few weeks will bring some things to the surface that we will deal with for a long time. My life has changed and I don't know if I can, in all fairness, expect anyone else to feel the same changes. My husband has, more than once, offered to get me burgers and fries when I express the need to get a meal out of the way.

Being offered 'a burger' when you are yaking on jello does tend to bring the homicidal maniac to the surface, but one has to remain open to the fact that his cries of "I keep forgetting," might be his way to remind me that he didn't sign up for this war and he shouldn't be drafted for any of the special missions. Fair? I'm working on it while sharpening all the household knives.

I was terribly disappointed to find that the 'average' recover time included me. I wasn't able to rebound one week post-op to write a sparking and brilliant business plan. I dropped out and the competition will roll on without me. But, of course, there's always next year.

My baby is singing with her cousins in the church choir and having a ball without her mommy. The only fun I considered today would have been to call the INS on the two 'visitors' hired to hang sheetrock at my new house. I really didn't, but where's the fun in that.

Coming back down to the 'average human' role once again left me extremely unmotivated to sip and snip at protein all day. I sipped a nap and snipped at benedryl. I got a call in the middle of my hate fest from my doctor's office. (It was really, really nice of them to care too -- grrr!) According to my stats, I needed 1900 calories a day and more than 80 grams of protein. Hmm, I wondered how my cup (huge, cup) of sugar-free hot chocolate skim milk fit into that picture. Even after snipping at some grilled chicken, I'm sure I'll be short today. But I'll end the day thinking ...

The .....protein will come out TOMORROW! Bet ya bottom dollar that TOMORROW, I'll eat some.

Soylent Green in My Coffee Cup?

2004-08-31T09:41:00.000-07:00

I just can't leave well-enough alone. The new powdered protein product did so well in skim milk that I decided to experiment. I added a little to my hot chocolate. I heated and I stirred and I mixed and waited.

Best as I can tell, I've created a new life form floating in my Quick and milk. It doesn't taste too bad, but it has the consistency of what I imagine the first guy in the movie experienced before he yelled "Soylent Green is people!"

Ok, no biggie. Lesson for today: Powdered protein does not play well with others and never, NEVER heat it up.

Today is going to be a very good day; I can tell. I think I'm on the down side of the pain. I'm getting up and down with almost no pain at all. The thought of having a nearly pain-free Labor Day weekend has got me almost giddy.

My racing heart rate is slowing down and my breathing is normal.

I think I will go out and play.

One Week Down: Weigh to Go!

2004-08-30T20:14:00.000-07:00

I should avoid puns, but some words are hard to resist.

It's been a week since the surgery and today was a celebration and a long journey all rolled into one.

Let's break it down:
*18.5 -- pounds lost
*Incisions healing quite nicely
*Old protein out, new protein in

The folks at Misi did a very good job of making my first visit post-op seem like a triumphant return. The door opens......Msssssss Spencer!

All the eyes in the waiting room turn to me and I get up trying hard to smile, but trying harder to walk straight (like I'm afraid that a prospective patient will catch on that this actually hurts).

The scale says I've dropped 18.5 pounds. That's nice. Would have been a real downer to have dropped 2 pounds or none at all. That's nearly 20 pounds, but I must admit I don't feel like I've done much to earn it at this point (Yes, I was a good bleeder!).

Dr. Leblanc is the perfect combination of proud parent, head coach and fine craftsman. I get a warm hug and approving smile. He's happy with my weight loss and he thinks the incision spots are doing well. When I complained of a little pain over my stomach and near the port, he explains that its par for the course. "Hey, we boogered ya up plenty good on that side." (The technical prowless of a master at work!)

The task ahead of me is to find protein alternatives that don't spark my hives. It wasn't as hard as I had thought. On the way home, we happened upon a Smoothie King when Scott's favorite suishi bar had closed after lunch.

My substitute is "Natural Whey." Way? Yes, whey.

This powdered protein supplement contains 22 grams of protein per serving and no articial colors or sweeteners. When mixed with a cup of skim milk, I get a meal yielding 31 grams of protein. Bingo!

The whole experience was terribly taxing for Scott. He had to hit the Wendy's before attempting the long drive home. He got the single and hot fries just like he prefers them, but they forgot to take off the 'evil' lettuce. But don't think he's cruel -- he offered me a fist full of fries ... and they were hot. (Those of you who know me best will be shocked, but relieved to know that Scott isn't speaking at any higher pitches today.)

Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone

2004-08-29T13:27:00.000-07:00

First, all you editors, English majors and anal-reten minors, I know I can't say "Ain't no sunshine...."

There's no sunshine today -- Sunday, Day 7, second day avoiding the high protein stuff, the day my baby and mother left AND it's raining. I'm bawling and all the depressing songs are springing to mind.

"BIG GIRLS -- they don't cry--eye-eye (they don't cry)"

Why not? I can't eat, drink or pluck out a tune on my piano. So, let's cry.

Well, that felt...human?

Great, in addition to being obese, I have to be human.

I often explain how I deal with my various trials to "playing the cards that you're dealt." I can't play poker and I see no thrill in gambling. However, I see some deep spiritual philosophy in the card-playing symbolism.

The Lord, Dealer of the House, has merely given each of us a set of cards to play. There's no luck or accidents in this game. Each low card has the potential to become more valuable with the right combination of other cards. High cards and face cards are only potent if you use them right.

I get a lot of pity most days. I'm very overweight and after the loss of four of my five babies, I was left with some pretty hefty health problems. Most people who couldn't see why we kept trying to have a baby could only see part of the cards I was being dealt.

When pain becomes motivation and failures become steps to success, the player has learned to take God's raw materials -- the good and the bad -- and build a powerful hand.

I haven't been dealt all fancy high cards. I've been dealt some low cards of despair and some weakening cards of pain. From the "pits of despair," the Lord builds the greatest hand of perserverance.

When the Bible speaks of "longsuffering," it's not a curse. A hand that results in longsuffering is one that is ready, willing and able to take future challenges with renewed ease and experience -- perserverance (like a flush, straight or whatever is a surprisingly good poker hand).

I'm starting to think I'm going to be incredibly successful in this venture. It's a rainy, painful day....but you should see the hand I'm holding!

\0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/

Oh, It's a Grand Pity Party in Here

2004-08-28T21:27:00.000-07:00

I have issues and I need answers. I truly regretted making this decision several times today. That realization, however, is like jumping off a building. Yes, you will change your mind several times on your way to the ground, but gravity will not reverse itself just because you want it to.

Without posts like this one, you might believe I'm blowing ultra positive smoke (into your eyes?).

I'm having the mother of all allergic reactions -- hives, itching, coughing, congestion. I've had this type of reaction before because I'm highly allergic to sulfite additives. I flared for weeks after bathing in hospital soap laced with sulfur, using HCTZ to lower my BP after my infant son's death and, the most stupid, after drinking a free bottle of muscadine wine from a local winery.

I've learned to scan labels for sulfur, sulfites or chemical compounds with a little sulfur in the name.

Last night, I took 50 mg of benedryl and then flared up like a Christmas tree. "Why," I was thinking, "I'm just sitting here sipping my HIGH PROTEIN DRINK!!!

No way. Could life be that cruel?

No way. Way!

All my high protein drinks are sweetened with Acesulfame Potassium, a sulfur-based sweetener.

I owe my internist an apology. Last week when I was having my allergic reaction to the antibiotics he prescribed, I had just had my first serving of Protein Ice -- Duh!

Up and Down on Day Five

2004-08-27T19:40:00.000-07:00

We've made it to the weekend and today was a perfect mix of an energy burst followed by a drained feeling.

As I can best guess, the day started pretty good, but I sat up and surfed and wrote for hours without much desire to sip or slurp. The first two types of protein drinks I've tried have kinda bombed out on taste. The third one is much better, but I feel obligated to try and finish them since they cost so much. I should probably just get over it and more on.

Near the end of the afternoon I felt drained and a little feverish. I took a nap and woke with some trapped gas pain.

Trapped air doesn't seem much like a medical emergency, but an air pocket in an extra sore digestive track will bring one down a few pegs.

Walking helps and Scott, the baby and I made a night walk out to the parking lot. Now I'll try the sorbet bars for dinner. I'm thinking that might help these blahs.

We shall see.

My Surgeon: Dr. Karl LeBlanc and his practice

2004-08-27T13:02:00.000-07:00

Surgeon: Dr. Karl LeBlanc
Practice: Minimum Invasive Surgical Institute
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Website: www.misila.org
Specialty: Supermodels

Editor's note: The following is my performance review of Dr. LeBlanc and his staff which is also posted on www.obesityhelp.com. (It's real long and I'm weak, ya know)

After a few minutes with Dr. LeBlanc, I felt very comfortable that everything would be fine and I had a top-notch expert.

1">He has a funny quirkiness that makes him seem like he's existing in his own little biosphere -- nothing matters but his craft and his patients' health. My husband and I chuckled how colors in the room didn't seem to match and the meeting room seemed like a lot of thought haven't gone into decorating. Dr. LeBlanc was a lot like that room -- focused without a lot of snotty, useless decorations and attitudes. I could tell from the manner he explained the procedure that he had a teacher's zeal (and knowledge) of bariatric surgery. And being a teacher, he was a master.

His self-less nature was best demonstrated when he expressed concern that I also get a hernia repaired. He told me that the hernia could cause problems and then said "I do that."

"I do that?"

That statement sounded like what the 'handyman guy' says about detailing cars: "I do that." Later, while researching the doctors and procedures, I found it hard to find anything (but here at obesityhelp.com) about Karl LeBlanc, the bariatric surgeon. Instead, I found tons of information about Karl Leblanc, the world renowned (really) hernia repair specialist. On two UK sites, I even read reviews of one of his two books on less-invasive hernia repair. His description of all that: "I do that." I immediately told my husband that I thought it was Divine Intervention that I would be sent to a bariatric surgeon who was also a hernia specialist.

Dr. LeBlanc took an interest in my unique problems and needs, but also refused to push me into having the surgery when I expressed a 'wait and see attitude' about it.

His staff is the perfect combination of professionalism and supportive. The office staff made me feel comfortable even when I was trying hard not to like them. Being both obese and egotisical, I'm always watching like a hawk for medical professionals who speak down to me or treat me like I have a mental defect. They did neither. When I couldn't fight it any more, I decided I just had to love them for all the support and information they gave to me. I applaud Christy, Holly, Ashley and Genie and any others who helped make this as smooth as possible.

The PA Holly Edmonds is quick and knowledgeable. She was very visible while I was in the hospital and fast and helpful the next morning when I called with questions.

There's an excellent aftercare program that includes a support group and Web site. Like everything else, I've always soured on attending support groups. Since they have proved me wrong in so many areas, I'll be at the first one available (next week).

I guess the length of this review hints that I have few criticisms. I tried my very best to find them. The biggest problem I could bring up is that their Web site isn't easily found on search engines. Come on, if that was the best I could do....

More reading:
The Columnists.com
Leblanc, Karl, book availability
Business Wire
Amazon.com, Books
(Hey, doc., that book costs $198.50 -- how bout a discount?)

Progress and pains: Day Four

2004-08-26T21:18:00.000-07:00

My body is healing and although I can't say I'm pain-free, I'm learning the tricks of the trade to dealing with it.

The Lap-Band surgery puts a port near the top of the stomach close to the surface. That area is still the most sore, but I'm learning to apply a little pressure to the area to keep it stabilized and less painful. I'm getting up pretty good and sitting slowly -- The muscle bends while sitting and standing. Using the knees to stand helps ease the strand on the abdominals, but I'm still mastering the other direction.

I'm also moving up to more sips and slurps. I think I finished close to entire cup of jello in two sittings -- minus the big spoonful that Cecilia took. Sweet baby that she is, after she realized how much orange jello meant to me, she gave it back a few minutes later.

I sipped two favors of liquid protein drink, had some watered down juice and had a all-juice bar. Hmmm, we might have an encore later for the juice bar.

My meds right now include a prescription vitamin, antibiotics, (less) liquid pain killer and my blood pressure meds that are already being stepped down.

And the day wasn't spent sitting on the couch. I took a nap in bed (don't laugh), took several walks inside and walked out to the car for a drive over to our house under construction. I also fought off an attack of the sleepy toddler and had her laying on my knee before having to call for help when she moved over for a full mommy cuddle.

I did a lot of phone tasks and logged quite a bit of time at the computer, but overall, it's a very dull day in the life of Frances. Maybe there's also a lesson in that.

First Day Home From Hospital

2004-08-25T20:53:00.000-07:00

I was sprung loose from the hospital this morning. I don't know if I'm at a loss for words or a loss for energy. I just had Scott set up my laptop to see if had any words of wisdom for today.

Not really.

It was wonderful seeing my little girl after a few days. She was thrilled to see me also and all my new toys and snacks. I'm still using the respiratory device that promotes deep breathing (and painful coughing). Cece thinks it's so much fun and has gone off with it a few times. If I get two sips, she's waiting close by to get her share too.

Eating is more of a chore right now than a desire. I've made my way through a few quarter wine glasses of crystal light -- thanks to Scott for putting it in a wine glass just like at the hospital, a half cup of tea, a couple of spoon fulls of some healthy protein thing from Smoothy King and a marathon cup of jello. I started the jello around 7:30 and at about 11 p.m. I was almost half way through it. Trying the jello too close to the tea sent me reeling in pain as a spoon full of jello waited it's turn to enter my incredible shrinking pouch.

Scott just warned that I probably didn't have enough protein today. I'm sure he's right, but today has just been trying to adjust to being home again and dealing with the pain. The baby doesn't understand why mommy won't pick her up, but she did walk over and hug my swollen, sore belly before being pulled off of me kicking and screaming. I wanted to cry too.

I'm trying to focus on a healthier life without a weak heart and insulin dependence in my later years. I know since I had Cecilia in my late 30s I need all the healthy, active years I can get. I do need that motivation more than any other advantage the surgery might offer.

I think tomorrow I will be more animated and thankful.

No Walk in the Park

2004-08-24T17:29:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting in my hospital room a full day after this life-altering procedure. I recalled a transcript of a call-in show about bariatric surgery. The expert was slammed by a few callers who were hostile that obese patients were, at times, using public funds to correct their lack of will power. Another angry caller said the doctors patients were taking the easy way out.

To that person: This is no walk in the park. I've spend a good bit of today wondering if I made the right decision because it's a big sacrifice for me and my family. The surgery left me with bleeding, lung and pain concerns. The first demonstration of will power is getting up that first day with your guts feeling like someone has thrown a landmine in them. I lost a unit of blood, but the need to ward off lung infection is greater than the exhaustion caused by anemia.

As tough as the last couple of days have been, going home will create greater challenges. The will power needed to succeed involves more than staying away from cookies and candy.One of my best friends has accurately said 'It changes your relationship with food.'

I can't drink even a half a glass of water at one time. As my stomach adjusts to the band, I'll do tiny all-liquid meals for 11 days: broth, jello, crystal light, etc. And life does continue. I have a busy 2-year-old, a huge business project due next week, a Web client to launch and a good job prospect to follow-up on in another city. All while sipping and healing.

This procedure may give me a greater chance to achieve my health goals (lowered blood pressure, blood sugar, live longer, etc.), but the easy way out it's not.

Now it's time to work my lungs and take a wall-grabbing walk in the halls.

The Morning After

2004-08-24T05:42:00.000-07:00

The surgery was yesterday and I was fully expecting to be up and writing the same day. Well, I was wrong, but I did get up.

I'm being told that the surgery went well. I have some issues not related to the Lap-Band that are giving me trouble, but I seem to be on course with post-op expectations.

My impression: THIS HURTS LIKE HELL!

I didn't expect this type of pain, but it's not the worst pain I've ever had. I reserve my 10 (on a scale of 1-10) to labor pains or when I woke up in ICU after my full-term delivery.

So far, I've had ice chips and a few spoons of broth. I threw a good bit of that up little bit after coughing or drinking pain medicines.

(later) This morning I had about a spoon full of sorbet and sips of crystal light. I also had a chest X-ray and an upper GI. Those are standard, but I've been running a fever and we are trying to ward off pneumonia. My blood count is low and labs at noon will determine if I will go home today. I hope so because I miss my baby and I know she's feeling like mommy has abandoned her again.

I'm not writing much with the IV, the higher table my laptop is on and, of course, the pain.

All for now.

Out of jokes, energy ... hives, I got

2004-08-22T22:13:00.000-07:00

Cleaned, washed, arranged all day preparing for this surgery only hours away. I'm I worried? Who knows. My baby has clothes for a couple of weeks and two organized closets. My mother has maps to daycare, hospital, Wal-Mart, Winn Dixie. Scott has a mounting 'to do' list. I have hives.

Everyone said dinner was good and the carrots to shield the chicken from the grease wasn't a bad idea, but my dad ate them.

Just before the midnight cutoff I had my last sips to wash down benedryl for the hives (new allergy) and Lortab for pain (old cramps).

Now I'm soaking and surfing. (wireless networking in the bathroom rocks!)

I will spend the remaining hours watching a movie and curling my hair.

Surgery eve and last-minute preparations

2004-08-22T08:44:00.000-07:00

I've missed my 'morning before breakfast' of an egg and slice of toast. My stomach's tossed about and at that time (around 6:30) I was up, but feeling like even one scrambled egg wouldn't stay put. I'm opting to try to battle the blahs with peppermint tea. The rest of this day's meals are clear liquids.

Today's preparations are health and personal tasks, mostly family-related, I would say. Topping the list is cleaning my apartment. Coming back home to some order after surgery will feel well. I would like to have all my baby's clothes washed and arranged so getting her up and ready for daycare will be easy. And, I plan to cook dinner. My parents should be arriving around dinner time and a nice home-cooked meal would be just a small gesture considering they are putting their lives on hold for several days to help us with my recovery and the baby. I think I'll cook a lemon-herb baked chicken and a veggie side. Scott says if I rest the chicken on a bed of chunky veggies while baking, it won't soak up as much grease (as seen on TV). I will consider this.

Finished my tea and took my blood pressure, 136/77 -- not bad for someone with critical hypertension (smirk). Now I'm off to arrange, box, wash, fold, stash and scrub.

Attack of the Killer Shopping List II

2004-08-21T16:28:00.000-07:00

I read the list, studied the list and made some calls to stores about the list. 'Just do it' comes to mind, but I wouldn't be Frances if I didn't turn this into a research project.

After an informed and extensive evaluation, I decided to go to ....

GNC (duh! and isn't GNC written on the sheet they gave you Frances?)

We just came back from a family outing to GNC. I got protein this and low carb that, drinks and potions and those yummy health bars that taste just like Snickers bars! (Put that pipe down).

It was an extremely interesting 'protein quest' (see, I read the instructions) and if not for the toddler meltdown and a bored-with-nutrition-store daddy, this might have been incredibly fun. (Luckily, it was the mall and they found another store in which to wreak havoc)

I decided that I would return to GNC (and the mall) and I left there a (card-carrying -- really) GNC Gold Card Member.

Bad attitude takes a hit by caring gesture

2004-08-21T10:50:00.000-07:00

Got a call from the surgical hospital and fully expected it to be a 'pre-set' script saying "Your surgery is the next business day and we just wanted to touch base with you..."

Instead, a nurse was informing me that Dr. Melancon had reviewed my chart this (Saturday) morning and noticed a problem. I wasn't dying or anything that would halt the surgery, but my last labs showed white cells and that would signal an infection. He wanted to call out an antibiotic to get a jump on it before the surgery.

I really felt like someone, my crappy opinions aside, was looking out for me. I explained to him that I just overcome a horrible bout of pain caused by an ongoing ovarian problem and I felt the infection might be tied to that. He assured me whatever the problem was, the antibiotic would help and they would continue it after surgery.

Last night I was working up my nerve to call to ask last-minute questions and I felt the Lord was giving me a chance to get some angst cleared by asking about things instead of being a smug know-it-all (card-carrying).

I asked about ketosis and if the lack of carbs would cause this condition. He said ketosis was a desired effect and its affects on the patient would be monitored. I also asked about my blood sugar and he said the labs showed it was much too high. He said they would watch it carefully and give me insulin if it was needed. (In my mind I'm thinking that the infection could have elevated my blood sugar, but little Miss Know it All actually kept that to herself ... smirk )

He added that I was anemic (not much) and the staff also would monitor that.

There's a post further down somewhere that says my bloomers were in a wad about having to go out of town to see an internist. Let's just say there's still someone up there giving me what I need instead of what I want. I'm thankful to Him also.

\0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/ \0/